School.....

Well I am officially back in school and I am glad to be back. I am just hoping that I can make it through this semester. So far, we are in week 4 and I feel like I am having a hard time trying to keep up. I am taking 4 classes this semester and it is not easy. I feel like I don't have enough time to keep up with assignments. I only have so much time to do them. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have 2 classes back to back after I get off of work and then I have to pick up my daughter. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I have a little time to get some work done after I get off of work and before I pick up my daughter. It just never seems like its enough hours in the day. I'm trying to be positive and to believe I can get through. I have to make it through. I have no other choice. I don't want to ruin my chances of graduating with this school. I am determined to make something of myself and not have to keep working at jobs where I work my butt off and have nothing to show for it. I want to one day be able to buy me a nice house and to provide for my daughter and any other future children I will have. I am trying my best to stay motivated and it's not easy but I try to think everyday about why I am in school and why it is important for me to make it through and graduate. I want to get there so much. I believe I can make it. I just have to.....

It's February!......

I'm am glad it is February. Hopefully that means that by the end of this month I will be looking forward to moving into my own place. I have been staying with my grandmother for 6 months by the end of this month and I am ready to have a place to call my own. Luckily, it is tax time so I should be getting a little money back from that and I will try to pay off some of my debts with it as well as try to move. Today, I am going to go to my top 3 places that I am looking to move to and now that I officially am about to start receiving child support, I will be able to afford a decent place. The places that I am going to look at are nice sized, 2 bedroom, 2 bath places and I think they all have washers and dryers included with them. I just so hope I can get my own place in the next couple of weeks. I will be glad when I can do what I want when I want to. Right now, I just need to get me a place and hopefully it will be one of my top 3 choices that I can get into.

Snowed in......

I am in the house snowed in. Glad I didn't have to go to work today. I was already taking today off because I was suppose to go to court for child support. Tomorrow is my regular day off so I get two days off and out of the weather. Hopefully things will be better Wednesday. The weather is so bad the governor is telling everyone not to drive and to stay in the house. They are actually writing tickets to people who do because they are saying it is illegal to drive in this weather. The temperature is the lowest it has been in 20 years in super negative degrees. It's so crazy. I will be happy when everything is back to normal. The snow is nice to look at but horrible to deal with. I will be happy when winter is officially over. I am in kind of a bad mood thanks to my daughter's father. He has to be the dumbest most disrespectful person ever. He texts me to have my daughter tango him so I do it. At first, he talks to her but then has the nerve to put his girlfriend on to talk to my daughter. I didn't let him talk to her so he could put his girlfriend on. That is rude and disrespectful. It's bad enough that I have to deal with him bringing her around when he picks or drops off my daughter but that was crossing the line. Then he wonders why I don't like talking to him and why I don't answer the phone when he calls. He doesn't care about anybody else's feelings never stops to think about how his actions affect another person. I really don't like to wish bad things on people but I hope he gets everything that's coming to him after all the crap he had put me through. I'm still waiting on the day it all happens to him. He goes about everything the wrong way and doesn't care. On another note, I think the guy that I had a crush on doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. As I write this its making me tear up. I haven't really talked to him in over 2 weeks. I try to text him but he never texts me back. It's not like we have done anything for me to feel so strongly that it makes me want to cry but I really liked him a lot. I don't see myself finding another guy like him. He seemed to be one of a kind and perfect. Looks like I was wrong. As much as I wish I had a love in my life sometimes I feel like I am better off alone. No way to be hurt except for the feeling of loneliness.

Almost over....

Well the year is almost over. Thank you GOD. Today is the last day of December and the end of 2013. In a couple hours, it will be 2014 and I am glad that this year is finally over. It's been a horrible year for me. It started out good but the last half of it has been hell. I am just ready to start fresh and new and hopefully this year will be better than the last. I went through so much crap but I made it through everything I have been through between my ex walking out on us and having to deal with him throwing his girlfriend in my face and having to be stuck staying with my grandmother instead of having my own place and job hunting this entire year with no luck. 2014 I hope all my bad luck changes. I start school in less than 2 weeks and I am super excited about that. The only thing is I am still waiting to get the rest of my scholarship so it can pay the rest of my tuition off and so I can buy my books. Hopefully it will all be taking care of by the end of next week because after that it will be time for school to start. Also, I hope to get myself an apartment soon. My goal is to be in my own place by the beginning of February so we will see what happens in January and see if I will be able to get a decent place in the next month. I plan on continuing to job hunt and I am hoping before next Christmas that I will have a better job than what I have now. My goal is to get a job that is Monday-Friday, no weekends or holidays, decent hours, something like 7-3 or 8-4, and definitely better pay. I also hope that I will find me someone to love, someone to spend my life with. I am just looking for all my bad luck from this year to change in the new year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! and hopefully it will be a better year for me.

Weight loss....

I am trying to see if I can lose some weight. I read an article from Women's Magazine about taking Raspberry Ketone pills. It helps to lose weight the article also talked about cleansing out your inside with a product called Zen Cleanse. So me being curious to see if it will work, I ordered both of them. I got both with a free trial so I didn't pay much for it. I got both of my bottles of pills yesterday and started taking the Zen Cleanse last night and the Raspberry Ketone this morning. The woman who wrote the article said that she only took one Raspberry Ketone pill in the morning and took one Zen Cleanse pill at night so I am doing it the way she did it. She said just by doing it she lost 25 pounds in one month so I hope to have the same results because my goal is to lose 20 pounds right now. I took my before picture and I will be weighing myself and taking a picture every week. The Raspberry Ketone website claims that it gives 4 times more weight loss than diet and exercise, boosts energy through the day, effective appetite suppressant, and works quickly with proven results. The Zen Cleanse claims to help eliminate bad toxins that have built up over the years, removes sludge from the walls of the colon, helps get rid of gas and bloating, and helps to regulate the metabolism. Just wanting to lose weight and this seems like a good start until I can start hitting the gym. We will see what happens in a month.

Advice for the new girl.....

I was just thinking that I wish that I could talk to my ex's new girlfriend to warn her about what she is getting herself into with this guy. He may seem like a nice guy but she never knows what he could be doing behind her back. Believe me, he has cheated on me, lied to me so many times I can't count and snuck around behind my back. It is not like I would be trying to tell her stuff to break them up but I feel like woman to woman I would like to help her not go through the same stuff that I went through. He walked out on me I assume for her so he could do the exact same thing to her that he did to me. Throw her in the trash and not think twice about it. I just hope she realizes that she deserves better before it is too late and she ends up getting pregnant by him or something. You would think she would think why would I want to be with a guy who has 2 kids by 2 different women and is already in a relationship with me when he basically just got out of one? I hope she is smarter than me and doesn't waste years on him before it is too late to realize that you wasted all your time loving and giving your heart to him before he throws it in the trash and moves on to the next girl. I wish I could tell her all of this but she would probably think that I am bitter and all I want to do is break them up when all I really want to do is warn her because who would know better than the woman who spent over 2 years with him. He is not trust worthy at all. I feel like I would want to prevent her from going through the same thing that I went through but I know she is going to have to figure everything out on her own. I just hope she doesn't wait too late to figure him out. All I can say is good luck to her......

The absolute worst luck.....

This is my 100th post!! I was just thinking that I have the absolute worst luck when it comes to men. I feel like I'm going to be alone forever. Mr. Right doesn't seem to be coming into my life any time soon. It seems that every guy that has come into my life things haven't worked out. Maybe I'm too loving or too clingy. I don't know but it would be nice to find someone who likes to be loved unconditionally. The last guy I was with was the longest relationship I had been in with someone and that ended badly and makes me feel like I shouldn't give my heart to another man after everything that's happened. Then the guy I started falling for that I met online who I thought would made me feel like I could care for someone again seems like he wants nothing to do with me. We have hung out at his house a couple times but things are going nowhere between us. I text him and it either takes him forever to text back or he doesn't at all and he hasn't asked me out on a date or have attempted to try to get to know me or spend time with me so I guess that's my cue to leave him alone since it's pretty obvious that he isn't as interested in me as I am in him. I would hate to lose him he seems like every thing I could ever ask for in a man but who knows maybe there is another man out there that I will find perfect one day. I just really hate being alone. I have no one to talk to or go out and spend time with. It is not fun it's so depressing and I wish I could find me a guy who will talk to me all day when we're not together. Someone who wants to go out on dates and spend all of their free time with me. Am I asking for too much? All I want is someone to love who will love me as much as I love them. Maybe one day but this wait is killing me.