Hoping for a good thing....

Hello!

Just sitting here waiting to go to work unfortunately. My job so sucks I am ready for a new one. I hate going up there. Its hard wanting to get up to go to a job you hate but my only motivation is money because without it I would be no where right now. Plus I hate depending on others to take care of me. I want to be able to take care of myself. I really feel like its time for a fresh start somewhere else. I don't think my boss really likes me and he told me the other day that I should of been fired but he didn't want to deal with the paperwork. So I took that as my cue to move on before I do end up getting fired and I need all the money I can get now. I'm already not making much up there as it is. So right now, I am hoping that I can get transfered to another hospital. I have already applied to it and I called the HR department to see what I needed to do. The guy told me I needed to get in touch with the manager at the hospital I am trying to go to but I didn't know since its a brand new hospital that hasn't been opened yet. Come to find out the hiring manager is my old boss who hired me for the job I am at now. I sent him an email about wanting to transfer to that one which would allow me to be in a new position too, which also means more money. He said interviews are starting next week and that he would let me know. I'm praying that he doesn't forget about me. I am so nervous you do not understand how much I want this job. I want it more than anything right now. I am hoping that I have a good chance in getting it since I have already been in the department for over a year in a half now. Still, it doesn't mean that I will end up getting it. I am trying my best to think positively but it still scares me because I want this job so much and I am so ready to get away from the job I am at. It is so annoying having to go to a job where I do the same thing every day with no variety. I want to be able to know how to do everything in my department not just one thing and my bosses are not giving me the opportunity to be able to do that. Even though they are letting others in my department. So I feel if I can't do more there I should go somewhere else where I will be able to do more than just one thing all day every day. Plus the fact that I am making less money than everyone in my department is definately unfair to me and considering I'm not going be trying to take care of just me but a baby soon is all the more reason for another job. I already realized I can barely take care of myself with the little bit of money I make every two weeks let alone a baby. So I am really praying that everything works out for the best. That's all I can do is think positively, pray, and hope for a good thing.

Guess what!....

Officially on Monday I found out I am pregnant!! I still can't believe it. Its so surreal. It didn't take as long as I thought it would. My boyfriend is excited as well as I. I just hope everything goes well and I have a healthy baby. I can't wait until he or she gets here. I am due in March and that is a long way away. I am only 4 weeks and 1 day right now so its a ways to go. I can't wait for my first doctor's appointment. Its not until August 15th which is a month from now. I hope the time goes by fast. I don't think I will actually feel pregnant until I go and see the ultrasound and hear the heartbeat. So far I haven't had much problems like throwing up or anything. I think the only thing I have is that I am tired but I was always tired before I got pregnant. I just hope I don't have bad morning sickness. I hope to keep up with this blog so I can discuss my changes and what I'm going through every week.

Its that time.....

Well on Sunday I started taking ovulation tests so I would know when I'm ovulating to increase my chances of becoming pregnant this month. Today, I got my positive. Yay!!! I have been reading on messages boards that people who use them get pregnant the first month they use them so I pray it works for me and by the end of this month I will be pregnant. I think the one thing that makes me nervous about finding out that I am pregnant is how is my family gonna react? I shouldn't be afraid. I am 24 years old. Its not like I'm a teenager in high school but still it kinda frightens me. All I know is whatever happens I have a good man who will be by my side through it all and that's all that matters. Well wish us luck!! I want this so bad you have no idea. I am so ready to be someones mom. I really pray that we are blessed this month.

Baby Time!!!!

Yes you heard right!! Its baby time! Me and my love are trying to have a baby. I know we have only been together a short time but we are so in love and it just feels right. I have wanted to start having kids for years the only thing that stopped me was not having a guy in my life. Now I have one and he wants more kids just as much as I want to have them. We are so ready. We are just waiting on things to happen. We started trying the first couple of weeks we were together. It does seem like we are rushing it and there is no rush but we will be so proud and happy to bring a baby in this world. If we have a boy we are naming it after him and if we have a girl we are naming it something he likes with his middle name turned into a girl version. So far no luck on putting a bun in my oven yet but I bought some ovulation tests the other day so in a couple days I will start using them and pray that things work out and by the end of next month hopefully we will have some good news. I'm so ready for this!! I just feel like its my time to be someones mom and I have a good man in my life. I couldn't have a better man to be the father of my children. I just really pray that by the end of next month I can say that I'm pregnant. It will be a great feeling. It just sucks to see other people pregnant when your trying to get to that point. I pray GOD blesses us soon. I think we will be great parents. When I hear him talking to his son on the phone it just lets me know that he is a good dad and he'll be a great dad to our children. LORD knows I'm ready!! All I can do right now is to continue trying which is the fun part until we get what we want which is our baby. Can't wait to be able to say that I'm actually pregnant and I'll be so happy when I get to tell him because I know he will be super happy. I just know he is the one. Its so nice to know I have a man in my life who actually wants to have a baby and is not one of those guys who thinks if I get pregnant he'll just handle his responsibility but isn't really excited about having one. I just know in my heart that I'm with the guy that GOD wants me to be with for the rest of my life. I can't wait to have his baby. So we'll see when it hppens. Hopefully it will be sooner than I think.

I have no problems dealing............

My boyfriend is the love of my life. I do not know where I would be if he wasn't in my life right now. We have only been together for 2 months but it seems like longer. The crazy thing is he use to be married. Actually he just got a divorce and was only married for about 6-7 months. We got together before he got a divorce. I know that doesn't sound right but its hard to resist someone you have an instant connection with plus his marriage was over before we got together anyway. I think I was the one to help him speed up the process of getting the divorce. I never thought that I would be in a relationship with a divorced man. I guess its one of those never say never situations. He also has a son. Which is another one of those I never thought I would be in a relationship with a guy with kids but I am. Unfortunately, his son lives in Texas so he never gets to see him. I think its sad because he can't be around his son to watch him grow up and to teach him things. I know it hurts him a lot. The only thing he can do is talk to his son on the phone. He never sees him and doesn't get to spend the holidays with him. I can't help but think that if me and my love are going to be together forever I might as well say I have a stepson which is crazy to me. I can't imagine having an instant son in my life but if he is I will be there for him just like I would my own children. I think the scary part would definitely be meeting him for the first time. I will be nervous because I wouldn't know what to do or how he would be around me but I can deal. I have no problems dealing....I think......

The LORD blessed me.....

The LORD finally blessed me with a boyfriend. I still can't believe that I can actually say that I have a boyfriend. It still seems weird. I never would have thought I would actually get to say those words. It seems like its been forever that I have waited for the LORD to send me someone who was just for me. I had a bunch of lame guys in my life that didn't want the same things that I wanted. All I ever wanted was to have a guy who wanted to be around me as much as I wanted to be with them and someone that I can see myself having a future with. I am 24 years old and I'm not getting any younger. It happened at the most random time. In early February, there was a contest going on at radio stations in different cities for Valentine's Day about who was the cutest couple. They had to submit a photo and tell the story of how they met each other. I would sit there and read as much as I could. It was nice to read how people met. I had fun reading them but it would make me sad because I would start to think, Why haven't I met the love of my life yet? I always thought it would never happen. Plus the guy that I liked at the time wasn't paying my any attention. I never got to see him or spend any time with him, he never called or texted me, and when I tried he never answered or replied back. So after that, I decided that I was through with dudes. I wasn't gonna worry about them any more because it was a waste of time. Then one day the love of my life wrote me on facebook and told me that I was beautiful because he was looking at my profile pic. I said thanks and he wrote back to see how I was. By the way, we had already knew each other from the past before he wrote me. We met in high school when I was a freshman and he was a sophomore. We were both in band together. I played clarinet and he played bass drum. He was my boyfriend for awhile back then but it didn't last long. He was interested in sex and being 14 and a freshman in high school I was scared and knew nothing about it so every time he made a move I would become nervous. So after awhile he dumped me and later he transferred schools and we lost touch. Now years later, we reconnected through facebook. After the first time he wrote me, we didn't talk for another two weeks. Then one day when I happened to be off work because I was suppose to take a CPR class but ended up signing up for the wrong one. I went home and got on facebook. We started writing each other again until we realized we were both on the computer so we started chatting on there and was talking to each other for 4-5 hours. It was nice then the next day he gave me his number so we could text each other while he was at work. So we started texting each other all day and night then talking on the phone. It was weird because I have never talked and texted somebody before all day everyday. A couple days had passed and he was ready to see me face to face so he was off on a Friday and after I got off work we hung out. I was a little nervous because I hadn't seen this dude in years but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. That day forward we became inseparable. We are together as much as we can be. Between our work schedules we barely have time together but we cherish every time we are. I don't think I have ever been so serious about a guy before. I am so in love and I believe he is my soulmate and that we were meant to be together. Before he came into my life, I never knew I could have someone who would love me so much. He likes being around me all the time. He likes to be with me and do things with me. He tells me I'm beautiful all the time. I never had that before. He likes to take care of me. Not that I need him to but he gives me money if I need it. He drives me to and from work. Its so amazing to me. He is my everything I pray that he will be mine forever. I don't need nor want anybody else.

I wrote alot! I'm so happy but there's more. So on to the next post.....

Checking in...

Hey

I see I haven't posted anything since Feb. 9th. Almost 3 months ago. Since then, I have finally got all my things cut back on. My internet, phone, and cable has been turned back on. I even added digital cable so now I can have more channels then before. Also back in March I got myself a boyfriend. I'll discuss that in another post. So far things are going great in my life especially with the new man in my life. I am happier than I ever been. The only thing I don't think is going too well is my schooling. A while ago my computer stopped working because of my cord so for two weeks I couldn't use the computer which put me behind on my school work. Now of course I could have went to the school and use the computer up there but it was so hard to get myself to go when I had been at work all day and I'm tired. All I wanted to do was go home. The day I was actually gonna go to the school and then again I decided I wasn't gonna go because I was tired from working, my boyfriend surprised me with getting my computer fixed. I was too happy because I didn't have to worry about going to the school or procrastinating. Now we are in the last two weeks of the semester and since I dropped my computer class, all I have left is my business and marketing classes. I think I'm doing better in one of them then the other. As long as I can come out with at least a C, I will be happy. Then summer school will start in June. I'm so nervous because I'm taking 5 classes so I'm hoping I'll do good in them. Summer school is only 8 weeks so I pray I'm able to pass all the classes with no problems.

Oh yeah and my birthday was a month ago so I am officially 24 years old.

Not another one

Well last night I get home from workto find out my internet has been cut off. I put a promise to pay the other day for next Friday. I thought that would have helped from getting it cut off but I guess not. Now, as of today, my cable, phone and internet is cut off. I guess thats what happens when you dont pay your bills on a regular basis and putting it off. I learned my lesson. Now I have to figure out how to get it cut back on. All of my classes are online classes so obviously I need my internet to be able to get the work done. I hope I can get it turned back on by tonight. We'll see. This is crazy in a span of a week and a half all three things have been cut off. Like I said I'm gonna try to at least get this internet back on I need at least one of the three working to get me through this time of no cable and phone. I just wish it would hurry up and be next Friday so I can get paid and caught up on these bills. It seems like it is takng forever for next Friday to come.

My Favorite TV Show!!!!!!

My favorite tv show as you can see is Psych!! I love this show so much!! I have been watching the show from the very beginning. Dule Hill was the one who caught my attention about watching the show. He is a great actor and an even better tap dancer. I love watching him dance. After watching this show all these years I have come to love James Roday. He definately makes that show. I have all 4 seasons on DVD and I'm waiting on season 5 which I'm sure will be out this Summer. I hate having to wait for the next season to start. It seems like FOREVER but its worth it. Its awesome that the show is doing so well that its going into its 6th season. The weird thing is I don't think I know anybody who watches this show faithfully like me but that's okay I like knowing that its my show.

Still Struggling...

Well I'm still struggling. My phone was just officially cut off on Friday which sucks. Now I have no way of getting in contact with anybody. The only way is through the Internet. Luckily, my computer still works. I'm still hoping my lights don't get cut off anytime soon. I don't get paid again until next Friday so I have to wait a little under two weeks before I can pay for anything. Which really sucks! So I'm just praying to the LORD that I can make it until next Friday okay. I got paid this past Friday and all my money disappeared so fast. I had to pay my rent. That's where all the money went. If I could, I would have only paid half or the majority but I'm already in trouble for being late too much so I wanted to pay the whole thing in full. After I put gas in my car and bought food all my money was gone. I just hope that if I do get the part time job I interviewed for last Monday, I hope they send me an email since I'm sure my phone won't be back on until next Friday. We'll see what happens but I just hope I can make it until then. I do not like depending on people to help me pay for stuff. I like being able to take care of myself.

On another note, I just dropped one of the classes I was taking today. I dropped my math class. I hated having to do it, but it was inevitable. It was going to have to happen sooner or later. I tried to keep going for as long as I could, but now we're on week 5 of school and I feel like I have barely been to that class. I realize I pay more attention to my online classes then that class and that's the only one I have on campus. The main problem that I had with the class from the beginning is that it ended at 10:20am and I had to be at work at 11. There was no way I could stay until 10:20 get all the way to work, find a parking spot, and make it in time by 11. So I would always leave early at 10. I didn't think that I should have taking the class at the other campus closer to my job. So now I will be waiting until the Fall semester to retake it. Which means I can lose my aspirations on graduating by next Spring. Which is okay. I feel better about the decision. I decided that 4 classes a semester is enough for me instead of 5. I think 5 is a little too much to handle espescially if you have a full time job. So I'm looking to be done by Fall 2012 now.

One more note is I am still pissed off that I didn't get to take my CPR class. Because of the dang snow and ice, it was cancelled so I had to reschedule for another time. I still took the two days off that I was suppose to get. I have rescheduled for the 25th of February so hopefully nothing happens to get it cancelled. It might be the last chance I get to take it before my class is over. I still have to request that day off from work which I will do tomorrow.

One last note, I'm still waiting to open me a bank account so I can do my taxes. I need $25 to be able to open one and unfortunately I don't have $25 to spare. I don't think I can open an account yet even if I wanted to because for some reason where I live I haven't been getting mail here for months and I just now called about it. I got a confirmation number so I still have to call and find out what's going on. So basically not until I can find out what's going on with my mail can I do it since they will have to mail you the card. Just too much!! But I'll get through.

Michael Jackson: The Experience

I love this game!!! I try to play it when I can since its at my mom's and I rarely have time with school and work. Since I'm off Friday I will be playing and I can't wait. My favorite dances are for Who Is It and Ghosts. I wish I could play everyday. I know dang near everybody got this game. I got it for Christmas. One of the best gifts I got this Christmas but not the best. I got the best gift I could have ever asked for on Christmas nothing can top it but this game is a close second.

Snow Day!!!!

Today was a snow day for me. It was a bad day weather wise. Its been freezing raining since yesterday and I made sure not to go out in it. Yesterday when I got off of work, all of my windows were frozen. The ice was so thick it took forever to get the ice off and of course the streets were bad so it took me an hour and a half just to get home. Then it was suppose to be worse today so I wanted to be smart and I called off work so I wouldnt have to drive around in it especially after I got off. I was lucky they cancelled school today. I had a math test so luckily I dodged that for now. Hopefully, it will be okay for me to make it in tomorrow. I'm lucky I got Thursday and Friday off but I stll have to go running around those days so hopefully the streets will be fine.

Happy February!!!

Its officially February!! Yay!! I'm just ready for winter to be over so bring in March. I'm wondering if I will have a Valentine's date. I guess we will see.

Another Day.....

Well I had my job interview earlier. I must admit, I think it went pretty good. I was so nervous because of how job interviews usually are. They ask you questions that are usually hard to answer, but I made it through okay thankfully. The cool thing was the lady who interviewed me told me that she use to do the same job that I'm currently doing now so she knows everything that I basically do. The one thing that bothered me was my interview was suppose to be at 8:15 and I don't think it started until after 8:40. I was thinking I might as well mess this interview up cuz who wants to work somewhere where they don't interview you the time your scheduled. If I was the one coming into an interview at 8:30 instead of 8:15 that would make me look bad and make them not want to hire me. But all I can do now is waitt and hope somebody calls me with good news.

Mad Tired

Good morning!! It is 6:13am and I am up. I barely went to sleep last night or should I say this morning since when I last looked at the time it was after 2 am. The reason I'm up early is because I have my job interview at 8:15 so I need to be out of here by 7 since its on the other side of town. I am praying that I get this job cuz I could really use the extra money. I'm thinking after my interview that I'm gonna go straight to work. I think it would be pointless to have to drive all the way back home just to have to leave back out in 20 mins. and waste gas going back and forth. I just hope I do not get in trouble at work for coming in early. I guess we will see. I am just ready to get this week over with. I'm happy since I only got to work to Wednesday instead of the whole week. I love when I get days off during the week since I don't get them unless I request them off. It will be nice not to have to worry about work until next Monday. Hopefully, me and my friend will go apartment hunting this week. I hope it will be cool to have a roommate since it will be less money spent on rent. I already have enough problems keeping up with the rent I have now. My mother doesn't think I should have a roommate and I'm sure she will flip out once I tell her I have decided to move in with one. But it is my decision. I am almost 24 years old so she can't tell me what to do anyway and I think it will be a good idea. Plus at least I'm moving in with a friend who is a girl and not a guy.

Stressing Out!!!

I am in a bad place right now. I am sitting at home and do not know what to do. I am frigging poor right now. I have no money and I feel like everything is in my face and I cant do anything about it if I wanted to. Yesterday, I was trying to help my friend out and gave him $80 to help him pay his rent. It didn't seem like a big thing until I got home. When I called my account to see how much money I had, it said I had $180.00 and some change so I gave him $80 of that. Then I put $15 in for gas. I got home and found out my cable was turned off and now I can't watch TV. I was going to pay it but found out now all of a sudden that I only had $50 and some change in my account and that's when I lost it. How did I go from having $180 to $50 and I only used $95? I still should have had $85 and the worse part is I can't find out what happened with the card I have. I tried to pay my cable with the little bit of money I had. I paid $40.54 then I called to see if it was getting turned back on. I was told now I have to pay $65 more dollars that I don't have to get it turned back on so now I'm gonna be tvless for a while. I wanted to try and pay some of my light bill cuz I'm behind on that too but the service that your suppose to pay it with always gives me a hard time. I just pray that I have enough time before they cut it off. I don't get paid again until next Friday and my rent is due then. If I don't have enough money to pay my rent and have some left over, then I'm not gonna be able to pay the whole thing and I'm already in trouble for being late too much. I am so in a bad place right now and I don't have anyone I can turn to. I can honestly sit here and can not think of anyone to ask to help me out and I don't feel comfortable asking anyone for money anyway, but if I did the last person I would want to ask is my mother I would be too embarrassed. I'm suppose to be getting the rest of my school money next week but its only $80. I'll see what I can do with that. A thought just popped in my head. I'm thinking if I can go to school and sell back some of my old books and get a little bit of money for them. I should have already sold them back by now but didn't. I think I'm gonna try that. I just hope I can make it through this rough patch okay. I just hope I don't come home one day and my lights are turned off. I can't even get my tax money because I wanted to open up a bank account first and I would need $25 to be able to open it. Obviously, I don't have $25 to be able to do that so now I have to wait to open an account and wait to do my taxes until I get the account. Pray for me......

On a much nicer note: I have a job interview Monday morning for a part time weekend job. I would only work Saturday and Sunday and the times are flexible. The lady I talked to on the phone told me that I would be able to come in anytime I want as long as I work a full 8 hours. Sounds good to me cuz I really need the extra money. I think the only bad thing is I would be working 7 days a week and I go to school full time so its looking like its going to be hard but considering the position I'm in right now I would be willing to make it work. I hope I get it and will be able to start soon.

What's Up???!!!

Hey oh!!!!

Wow I seriously have not posted since June. Where have I been? Anyway, I'm still in school, and work, and have my own place. I'm in my 4th semester of school and I'm hoping I'll be able to get through it okay. I'm taking 5 classes and 4 of them are online so at least there is some convenience. I'm also switching majors. I was going for Health Information Technology but to be able to take the program classes you have to apply and get accepted and I didn't get accepted so now I'm going For Hospitality Administration with a concentration in Hotel Management. I'm excited but I still haven't put in the paper work yet to switch so I still have to do that before I'm official. I hope one day I can go on to get my bachelors in Tourism, but I still want to go to school for Sign Language and hopefully I can do that once I graduate and get me a day job. I just feel like I am going to be in school forever.

In my last post from June, I mentioned a guy who I was smitten with. Well I can honestly say I am still smitten with him. We're not together or anything but I consider him a close friend who I am glad to have in my life. The sucky thing is I rarely ever get to see him. We unfortunately do not work together anymore. He has been gone for 2 and a half months and although I'm use to him not being around anymore, I still miss him. He was my inspiration to coming to work. Now all I can do is hope to catch him one day when he's not busy and hope we can hang out. But I still hope that one day he will be my one and only special guy. He is the only guy that I can honestly say holds my heart at the moment. Who knows when that will change though. We still have not been out on a date either and I'm waiting on that to happen. I want it to happen soon and hopefully it will. I'm still shocked that we were suppose to have our first date back in April and now its January. I'm just hoping the saying "Good Things Come to Those Who Wait" is true to its saying.

I hope to not wait so long before posting again. We'll see.