New Years Eve...

It is officially New Years Eve so this will be my last post for the year. Once it turns midnight, it will be a new day, a new month, and a new year. I wish I had someone to bring in the New Year with. Maybe something will happen later but right now it looks like I will be bringing in the New Year alone again which is nothing new. I can't remember the last time I brought in the New Year with someone. It would be nice to have someone to bring it in with maybe even get a New Years kiss. I really hope this New Year will finally be my year to find love. I always wonder why I always have a hard time finding someone. It seems like the majority of everyone I know either has a boyfriend, are engaged to be married, or are married. I wonder when it will be my time. I feel like I been single a long time and I am ready to have someone I can share my life with and possibly marry in the future, be able to have a few more children with and start our own holiday traditions. I feel like all can do is daydream about having a boyfriend, being proposed to, and just being with the love of my life because it doesn't seem like it will ever happen in real life. I pray that the next guy who comes into my life is the one that I will be spending the rest of my life with. Hopefully by next Christmas, he will be in my life. I wonder if it will be someone I already know or someone I haven't met yet. Only the LORD knows but I sure can't wait to find out. I am just ready to love and be loved in return. Just to have someone who loves me unconditionally, flaws and all and someone who can't imagine me not in there life and can't imagine being with anyone else. I hope I will be blessed enough to find a guy like that and hopefully 2018 will be my year.

New Year Goals...

We are two days away from Christmas!! The year is almost over and it makes you think about what you want to accomplish in the new year. It is usually called resolutions but I prefer to call it goals. What I would like to happen next year is I want to do better in school because this semester sucked. I think the fact that I was taking 5 classes had a lot to do with it. If I didn't work a full time job then 5 classes would have been doable but I am out of the house Monday-Friday between 7 and 5 and once I get home there is not a lot of time to get much done and I am having to spend the whole weekend getting all the assignments done before the cut off time which is 5 on Sunday. It is ridiculous how many assignments it is. It could be 18 assignments due within the week and don't forget about the readings. So from now on I will not take more than 4 classes. Hopefully that will help me out because I do not want another semester like this one. Another thing is I hope I will be able to find love. This year definitely did not end well in that department so maybe next year I will have better luck. When the holidays come around it really shows how lonely you can be. I can't wait until I can get married and have a husband who I can create family holiday traditions with. I might be still job hunting. I am kind of torn on if I will continue looking or if I am going to stay where I am for awhile. I am just going to take it as if something comes along and I am suppose to have it then that is how it is suppose to be. We'll see what else is in store for next year I hope it will turn out to be a good year.

Why can't love be like...

Why can't love be like in the movies. I watch a lot of cheesy Hallmark movies and it seems like the man and the woman fall in love after only knowing each other a few days or weeks. Is it just a movie thing or can falling for someone just from talking to them and getting to know them can really happen? The guy I was interested in I have known him for months and from just hanging out and going out on dates I was starting to fall for him but I guess the sentiment wasn't the same. At least it was months instead of days or weeks although I did like him from just our first interaction with each other because he was funny and seemed to know what he wanted out of life. It would be so cool if a guy was interested in me the way I am interested in him but it looks like that only happens in movies.

Feeling better...

I am feeling a lot better than I was yesterday. Yesterday I was so sad and crying but I wanted to leave the tears behind and wanted to get on with my life. Honestly, it is hard hearing that a guy you like and wanted to have a future with ended up getting someone pregnant plus I was officially friend zoned. It just goes to show you how life can bite you in the butt. I really think the one thing that really bothered me and made me cry the most is the fact that he was everything I wanted in a man. That's why I always thought that GOD put him in my life for a reason and I was always thanking him everyday until this stuff happened. He was literally everything I wanted. I couldn't have asked for a better man to be put in my life and now I feel stupid for feeling that way. He was everything I wanted up until yesterday and now I am afraid that I will not find another guy like him. I don't know if I can even talk to him anymore. Although we are still friends, that part hasn't changed and I still want to hang out if he ever wants to but right now I feel like I should leave him alone and just work on moving on with my life without the thought of me and him having a possible future together. I was planning on asking if he wanted to spend New Year's Eve with me if he didn't already have plans but now I think I should scrap that plan. It is really amazing to me how one day you could be happy and really like someone to the very next day you are sad and not sure how to feel or think about anything anymore. I always wonder if there is something wrong with me. I have been single for 4 1/2 years and can't seem to get a man to save my life. All I ever wanted was someone I could talk to, spend time with, have fun, cuddle with, laugh with and possibly marry and have a few babies with. I am officially off of men. I don't know for how long but it always seems like the guys I really like something negative happens. I feel like when it comes to love I don't think I will ever find my way and feel like I don't know how to. All I can do is to continue living the life I have been living all these years. All by my lonesome. I just pray that the right guy comes along when it is time. I don't want to be alone forever I just hope the guy that comes into my life will be the man that I will be spending the rest of my life with since it doesn't look like that is going to happen with this guy. I will say that although things didn't turn out the way I wanted with this guy, I'm still glad I met him and that we are at least friends but it looks like I am going to end this year off the way it started...alone.

Feeling like crap...

I feel so hurt. The guy that I have been dating and was really into told me that he got his daughter's mom pregnant. They are not together or anything but somehow it happened. I think the one thing that upsets me the most is that I have been praying for this man and thanking the LORD for putting him in my life and then this happens. I really liked this guy and it just sucks that I always get the short end of the stick when it comes to finding love. We're still friends and that's luckily all we have been anyway. If we had been anything more then I would be more hurt but he basically friend zoned me and said he would rather be single so he can have his freedom. I guess I'm better off because I doubt I would want to be with a guy who is having another woman's baby. I'm trying to stop the tears because it does hurt. I am real depressed and hopefully it won't take forever to pass. I feel like when I think about it, it makes me teary eyed and since I am at work I have to hold the tears in the best I can. I think I am officially done with guys. I think I am set on being alone. I don't want to be but it seems like every time I am interested in a guy he is either married, has a girlfriend, still has feelings for their ex, or friend zones me. I have the absolute worst luck when it comes to men. No wonder I have been single for 4 1/2 years. It seems like there are no good, decent men around or I am just having the roughest luck finding someone. It seems to make sense to forget guys because I always end up hurt. Am I ever going to have a good, decent guy come into my life and wants a relationship, maybe get married and have more kids? I thought I had found him and I was wrong and it sucks so bad. I really thought the LORD had put this man in my life for a reason and now I really don't know what to think anymore. It sucks to go from being happy and really liking someone to feeling broken. I hate this feeling. I just want to cry but can't since I am at work. I really feel like crap.

Heading to December...

I can't believe it is almost December. It will be officially December in 2 more days. My baby's birthday is on the first she will be the big 3. It is hard to believe 3 years have came and gone already. The girls are getting so big and I pray the LORD blesses me with more kids one day. On Sunday, I went to go see Janet Jackson and it was an awesome show. I kinda wish I could see it again and get closer seats. I was in the 8th row so close to the stage but hopefully the next concert I go to I can be even more closer to the stage. I went with the guy that has pretty much turned into my go to guy for dates although I wish it could be more than that. I feel like there is something there between us and it is funny to me because it seems like we both want to kiss each other but neither one of us want to make the first move or we are scared to go there. As long as I have known him, which has been since April, all we have done is hug which is cool but it would be nice if we could be more affectionate to each other. I guess it would be better to wait until we got to a point where we are more than just dates. I was just thinking that it would be cool if we spent New Years Eve together and we could share our first kiss at midnight and maybe officially become a couple and start the New Year off as boyfriend and girlfriend. I think that would be so awesome if that were to happen.

Nothing yet...

It's been awhile again since I posted. I hate slacking and letting so much time pass. Still haven't found another job yet unfortunately but maybe the right one will come along one day but I guess its not happening right now. The Fall semester is almost over and I think I have been doing horrible. Some stuff I haven't been turning in because of procrastination or just not knowing what to do. I am hoping that I will do better and do the best I can before the semester is over. I can't believe the year is almost over, only less than 2 months and it will be the new year. Still single. Doesn't look like I am going to be getting a man anytime soon and I am okay with that. The two guys that I was talking to, one of them I still talk to every now and again but I haven't seen him since September. The other guy ghosted on me. I have no idea what happened to him and why he stopped talking to me all of a sudden. I really thought he was interested in me and I haven't seen or heard from this guy in months but at least I was able to get a computer out the deal. The other guy I still talk to, I wish he would be my boyfriend and one day my husband. It just seems like we both want the same thing and he is a good guy but I feel like I am not what he is interested in because if he were interested then I would assume we would hang out more than we do. Plus I always feel like I am the one who initiates a conversation. It would be so lovely if I could finally find a guy who would chase after me, initiates conversations, and ask me out instead of the other way around. I feel like I am always the one doing the most and I feel like it should be the man. I think that is why I am done with guys for now. The right guy just never seems to come around. I have been single almost four and a half years. How much longer am I going to be single? I hope its not another four but I feel like with the way things are going I will probably end up being a cat lady. Old and alone. I feel like the older I get the more I should have someone to be able to spend my life with. I still would love to have a couple more kids but only with my husband so hopefully it is possible to meet a guy if I haven't already met him, spend time with each other and get to know each other, get married, enjoy being married for awhile before we start having kids and enjoy the rest of our lives together, as long as divorce doesn't come in. I just hope within the next 2 to 3 years I will be married. I am not getting any younger and the older I get the window to having more kids start to close.

Trying to shake things up this month...

I just realized I hadn't post not once in the month of July. Anyway, I have been applying for jobs since April in last week I started getting job interviews. I had one yesterday which I think went pretty good but then you never know if you were good enough. All I can do is pray that they call me because I really want that job. It is a Monday-Friday 7-3:30 job which is what I need. I will be able to get my 40 hours which is one of the reasons why I'm trying to get another job. I have another interview this Friday at the same place but it is a different position. I'm not sure if it is Monday-Friday, I assume it is and the hours are 9-5:30. I am not to fond of those hours but if they offer me the job and I don't get the other one then I will do it. a girl at my job had an interview last week for a job that she wanted and found out today that she got it. I just hope I'll be able to have some good news by next week.

The summer semester is finally over and I did a horrible job. Out of the three classes that I took, I only passed one so the other two I am going to have to take over. I hate that I have to waste time retaking classes. I just hope I will be able to graduate on time. So I will have to be pulling a lot of all nighters. The fall semester starts in a week and a half and I am ready to get started, although, I am enjoying not having to worry about getting school work done. I just hope I will be able to stay focused and make it through all of my classes. I just need to pass with a C and then it will be on to the next semester.

Ready for a new job...

I'm ready to leave my job. I like my job and I'm thankful I was giving the opportunity to be there but it would be nice to find a job where I can feel like I fit in. I don't feel like I fit in at my job and it sucks. I feel like I am not needed and that I am being used. In the almost year that I have been there, I have learned that my job is pretty much a one person job not a two person job and the lady I work with can pretty much do everything by herself. I believe the only reason I am there is for when she calls in, or takes a day off, or is on vacation. That's the only time I feel appreciated. I don't even work a full 40 hours a week so it makes me wonder if it is time for me to move on. I keep trying to find jobs to apply to and I have applied to a couple but so far no luck has come my way. I applied for a ob at my old company which I would love to go back to because I never wanted to leave in the first place. I applied to the job 2 months ago and so far haven't heard anything about it. Everyday I keep hoping I'll get a phone call or email but nothing after two months. The job is still posted so I don't know what is going on and I wish there was a way I could find out. I'm still praying everyday that the day will come that I hear something. I want that job so I can get out of the job I am in and I will be closer to school plus I can work for the company that I plan on working for when I graduate. It just sucks having to wait. I really hope, wish, and pray I can get that job and go somewhere and feel wanted.

Should I give up?...

Why do I always feel like when I like someone I always get the cold shoulder? The guy I am interested in is becoming hard to get to know now. It seemed like everything was going great between us until it came time for him to go on vacation. He was suppose to come hangout with me before he left since we weren't going to get to see each other that weekend and he said he was coming but never showed up and I never heard from him but I figured he probably went to sleep. He still never apologized or gave an explanation and I never brought it up because I didn't want him to think it bothered me. Then he went on vacation and I barely heard from him at all. So for a whole week he literally ignored me which I understand you're on vacation but still you're not that busy every second of the day that you can't say hi. After his trip, he says he doesn't really talk to anybody when he's on vacation unless its his girlfriend or parents. I just feel like I try to keep the lines of communication open with him to continue to get to know him but I don't think he feels the same way. I was hoping that things would go back to normal once he came back from his trip but nope. I try to text him and it seems like it takes forever for him to respond back. I feel like I need to back away from this guy before my ego gets more bruised. It sucks because I really like this guy. It always seems like I have a hard time when it comes to finding a boyfriend. When am I going to find a guy who is interested in me to where he keeps texting me and wanting to get to know me? I always feel like I do more than the guy I want the guy to do more than me. I'm guessing its not my time to find that guy but if I'm lucky things will change and we'll start talking more. I can only hope....

In strong like...

The guy that I have mentioned in my previous post that I met on Plenty of Fish is still around. It has been almost 6 weeks since I started talking to him and we are still talking. We have even hung out a couple of times. The first time he came over to my place and we chatted for awhile, maybe about an hour before he went home because he had been out all day so he was tired. I was glad he came even for a little while because at least the awkward meeting face to face for the first time was over. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I was going to be. The second time we hung out on Memorial Day. I thank the LORD for allowing me to get the opportunity to get to go out with him. We went downtown and just walked around it was fun. We talked and joked around. The awkward part was when we were almost done walking we ran into his ex/daughter's mother and his daughter and I think it was his cousins. It was definitely unexpected but not bad. My first real date in years and I'm glad I got to do it with an awesome guy. I am looking forward to getting to hang out with him again. He is a very sweet guy. One of the nicest guys I have met in a long time. I am hoping I will get to see him again this weekend since next weekend is out of the question because he will be out of town. I am just so thankful for having the opportunity to get to hang out and I am looking forward to more times. I'll have to wait and see what happens between us but I am hoping for good things. I have waited a long time for a good man like him to come into my life and he is finally here. I just hope he is as good of a guy as I think he is so far. All I know is I am looking to spend a lot more time with him in the future. I just hope this is the real thing and not a dream that I have to wake up from one day. It feels good to be in like with someone. I feel like I think about him all day every day and just daydreaming about being with him. LORD willing this man will be my boyfriend one day and if the time ever comes it will feel so weird because it has been a long time since I have called anyone let alone had a boyfriend but it will be so great to have someone to talk to whenever I want to talk or he want to talk, someone to go out and do things with, and someone to joke around with. I miss having that in my life. A little bit everyday I start feeling like I am not lonely thanks to him. I also deleted my Plenty of Fish and Tinder apps off my phone because I feel like I met the person that I was looking for and who I was meant to find so I don't need to talk to anyone else. He told me when we were last together that he deleted his too which made me get rid of mines although I was thinking about getting rid of them anyway I decided after he told me he got rid of his. I feel like I'm starting to feel a little more joy in my heart thanks to him and it feels good to listen to love songs and feeling like I can sort of relate to them. I can't wait to see where things go as the weeks and months go by. I pray that I will be able to get what I want and for us to go from just friends to boyfriend and girlfriend to possibly husband and wife. All I know is that we are definitely taking things slow and are not trying to rush into anything. We are just trying to enjoy the getting to know each other stage before we start thinking about anything else and I like it this way because I don't want to rush into anything. I think its good that we take our time and get to know each other. It seems kind of old fashioned but I like it this way. I definitely would want us to just be friends and get to know each other and have fun without any expectations.

Single parenthood...

Single parenthood sucks!! I don't regret my kids at all but it is definitely hard to have a life when you have kids around all the time. I want to be able to go out on dates and have a night out every once in awhile. I am interested in this guy I met on Plenty of Fish and we have been talking the past two weeks and it would be nice to be able to go out with him so we can hang out in person and not just be chatting on the phone all the time. I just don't want him to lose interest in me because I may seem like I am never available. I wanted to go out with him tonight but I don't have anyone to keep my kids so I am stuck in the house. I just hope I will be able to go out with him next weekend or the weekend after. I really don't want to miss the chance of getting to know this guy because I have kids and miss out on the guy who could be the one. I feel like just because I have kids doesn't mean I shouldn't be able to have a life and go out every now and again. I haven't been out of the house and had fun since last July. Now that I have a guy that I am interested in, I want to be able to go out every now and again. Hopefully things will work out. If this guy was meant to be in my life then I still have a chance.

Job hunting again...

I am on the hunt for another job. I like my job but I am ready to go. The lady that I work with is planning on leaving to go back home to Louisiana which means I am going to get stuck with all of her work plus I am going to have to work with a new person and I do not know if I can handle it. She says she is planning on leaving in July so I am hoping I can be gone by the end of June. I put in an app the other day for the same job that I am doing but at another facility and I hope I can get it. Right now, I am just waiting on getting a call for an interview but if I can make it to the interview, I hope I can get offered the job. I know the people at my job will be shocked if I put in my two weeks notice because they are banking on me taking over when the lady I work with leaves. It is just so many little things at that job that seems like it gets bigger and bigger to where I get irritated all the time and I just don't want to be there anymore. I pretty much like the people at my job and I like the job I do but I just don't want to be there anymore. Hopefully things will work out to where I can be out of there by my goal time which is no later then the end of June.

Another semester down...

The spring semester is finally over!! At least at my school it is, at the community college where I am taking my math class its not over for another week. Summer classes start in a few days. So I will technically still be in the spring semester while in the summer semester which is weird. I think I made it out of my classes with passing grades. I think I have a C and two Bs and now I have to wait for my math class to be over to find out what I get in there and I am praying that I pass because I would hate to have to take that class over. Now I can get into my summer classes and it might be tough because the sessions are only 7 weeks so a lot will have to be crammed into each week. I hope I can make it through and pass then I can go to the Fall semester and once it starts, I will only have three more semesters to go until I graduate and I am definitely counting down because I am determined to make it to graduation. Failing is not an option. I just want to make a better me and get a good paying job to where I don't have to worry about struggling for money. The end is getting closer and closer and I can't wait until I am there.

Another dating site...

I have found me another dating app to get on. Like I said in my previous post, I was on Tinder and they have decent guys on there but the only problem is they can not hold a conversation. Of all the guys I matched with on there, I have only really been in contact with one. So I picked another app to get on called Plenty of Fish to see if I would have a better chance of getting to talk to guys and I did. I can honestly say that Plenty of Fish is way better than Tinder. The guys actually talk on there and I was able to talk to a couple of guys on Saturday night which made my night less boring. The only thing I can say I didn't like is that anybody can message you so pretty much its up to you if you want to message that person back or not. With Plenty of Fish, you can set a search of what your looking for going by age, height, if they have kids, if they are black, white or whatever. Tinder only lets you search by age. I got to talk to a few guys that I was interested in and we ended up exchanging numbers so that we could talk outside of the app. There were some guys who were trying to get my number without even really talking to me first. They would pretty much say hi and how are you then would be trying to exchange numbers so then I would ignore them after that because I was not about to exchange numbers with a guy I have barely talked to. I did exchange numbers with three guys on there and we have talked off and on but there is this one guy that I have been talking to and he seems really cool. I'm about ready to stop talking to the other two just to talk to him because between the three, he is the only one that I am constantly talking to and we are actually getting to know each other. He definitely seems like a great guy. He'll be 33 this year, has a good job, actually has his own house, and cars, has a daughter but the one thing I can say that interest me the most about him is that he wants to get married and have more kids which is what I want to do too. I actually have been talking to him on the phone which is a big deal considering I don't like talking on the phone. I'm not trying to jump the gun or anything since we have only been talking for a few days and its not like we have even met each other face to face yet but this guy just might be the one I have been waiting on. He seems like a genuinely, sweet guy with a good head on his shoulders and I am kind of excited to see where things go from here but all I can say is to take things one day at a time and who knows in a couple of years he could end up being the guy I marry and have a family with and to think it all started by me downloading the Plenty of Fish app. I haven't been this excited about a guy in a long time. The cool thing is neither one of us has been in a meaningful relationship with anyone in years so I am excited to see where this will lead to. Hopefully great things are ahead for the both of us...

Easter time...

This weekend is Easter which means we are half way through the month of April and I am ready for it to be over already. I wish I could take my kids to the egg hunts that are happening but since I have to go to my class because its a test day I'm screwed but there is always next year. I am ready for May to get here. I have a month left in school for the Spring semester and I am so ready for it to be over. I am ready to start and get the Summer semester over with so I can get to the Fall semester and then I will be half way done with school and have less than a handful of semesters to go before I graduate and I am ready for that time.

Tinder thoughts...

Still messing with Tinder so just wanted to post a couple of thoughts I had. It seems kind of hard to find big guys on there. The majority of the guys on there are white but when I do come across a black guy it seems like they are too skinny for my taste. I'm attracted to chunky guys and most of the guys on there are either skinny or muscular skinny guys who seem to spend a lot of time in the gym.
There is this one guy on there that I have been talking to who seems really cool. He's not a bad looking guy, seems to have a good job and he's 40 which I am definitely attracted to older guys but I think we can only be friends and chat every now and again because he lives in a different state and I think he just comes up here for business. We have exchanged numbers and have been texting but he definitely sucks at texting because I can text him and it seems like it takes him forever to text back if he even texts back at all. Is it too much to ask to find a decent guy who can hold a conversation? Maybe one day the right guy will come along and I will finally have someone I can at least chat with.

Dentist appointment...

Last week, I went to the dentist for the first time in I don't know how many years. I was definitely nervous because I didn't know what to expect since I hadn't been in so long. I thought I was going to have a bunch of cavities in my mouth or I was going to need to have a bunch a teeth pulled. The dental hygienist and dentists were all nice. I feel I made a good choice picking them to go to. I only have two cavities which is less than what I thought I had so I am happy. I was at my appointment for 3 hours since it had been so long since I have been to the dentist, it took a long time to clean my teeth. I have an appointment to go back on June 1st to get my cavities filled, to get a tooth pulled because I still have one of my baby teeth that never came out and to get braces. I'm kind of excited to get braces because I know I need them. My teeth aren't that crooked except for a few in the front but I need them to move one of my teeth where it's suppose to be which is why I have to get my baby tooth pulled out first. Since my baby tooth never fell out on its own, it pushed my adult tooth out so its sticking out which has always made it hard for me to want to smile because of it now I'm finally about to get it fixed and I am ready. I can honestly say that I enjoyed my appointment so much that it made me think that if I wasn't going to school for what I want to then I would probably go to become a dental hygienist.

Tinder...

So I downloaded the Tinder app because I wanted to see what the hype was about with the swiping. It is a pretty cool app. You can meet guys on there and I think its cool that you only talk to people that you match up with. So if someone likes me and I like them then we are matched together and can send each other messages. I have matched up with quite a few people but the problem seems to be that none of the guys can hold a conversation. Some guys I have started talking to and then they just stop talking. I tried to keep it going but never hear back from them. I didn't think it would be that hard to find one interesting guy to keep a conversation going with. I have been trying to look for older guys. My age range is 30-41. I noticed its a lot of guys who are in the army on there. I'm not saying I need to find me a boyfriend on there but at least someone just to chat with.

The big 3-0...

On Sunday, I turned 30. I still can't believe I am 30 years old. I didn't really celebrate although it would have been nice to be able to. One of the sucky things about not having a significant other or a lot of friends. Its kind of depressing. I just hope that I can reach my goal with hopefully by the time I am 35 I will be married and ready to have another baby. I have less than 5 years to reach my goal and I hope to be able to accomplish it but since it seems like I have a hard time meeting guys we'll see if it can actually happen.

Volunteering...

Well I am trying my best to do as much volunteering as I can. I am in a club at school where we volunteer and so far we had one volunteering event that I went to. It was pretty cool. I skipped the last one we had because just didn't feel like going and it felt weird because it seemed like the people who were going all knew each other and of course I don't know anyone. Definitely one of the biggest regrets I have is not being able to spend more time on campus. Now I do not know if I am going to be doing anymore volunteering with the club. I will probably go back to volunteering on my own and I plan on volunteering a couple of times at the pantry on campus as soon as I sign up. They still have a few slots open so I can volunteer a couple times before the semester is over since I think it is only open during the school year.

Birthdays...

My daughter just turned the big 5 on the 13th and I had a party for her on the 12th. It was pretty cool to be able to throw a party and have people come out for it. It kind of bugged me that I passed out almost 40 invitations to the kids at her school and only a few of them showed up. That was so mind boggling to me. Its not like I didn't pass it out in enough time for people to RSVP. It was still a nice turn out regardless. Now my birthday is coming up in a week and I will be turning 30. I can't believe I am officially turning 30 in a week. It just sucks because I know I don't plan on doing anything or celebrating. Too bad I don't have a special guy in my life to celebrate with but I'm sure my time will come one day for a guy to be n my life.

Need a new plan...

I haven't posted in over a month and I know I have a lot on my mind so this will be the first post of a couple. I am back to searching for a new plan to lose weight. The nutrisystem plan that I was planning on doing didn't work out like I wanted. I read some of the reviews on the QVC website and it kind of scared me off of spending all the money on the food if it wasn't going to be good. I am still trying to do research and figure out what I need to do. I know I want to get exercise dvds and use them and the only way I can do it is if I get up super early in the morning so that I have time and I need to buy a new dvd player because the one I have doesn't have a remote so its hard to go to pick another selection without it and I don't want to buy a remote and risk it not working. The next thing I need to figure out is the food. I want to try to eat healthier so I need to figure out what foods I can get. I'm kind of thinking about getting a George Foreman grill too. I guess we'll see what happens. I do like seeing other people inspiring and showing their weight loss journey because it lets you know if you are dedicated enough it is possible to get healthy and lose the weight.

Marriage goals...

I always wonder when the guy that I am suppose to spend the rest of my life with will come into my life. I have been single going on 4 years. Its a part me that's fine with it since its been so long but its another part of me that wishes I didn't have to be alone all the time. There's so many people I know that are in relationships and are married and I can't even get a boyfriend. I am no where near the point of talking about marrying someone. It kind of sucks. I will be turning 30 this year and I am hoping that in the next year or two the guy I am suppose to marry will pop up in my life and I can be married by the time I am 35. I still want to have at least 2 more kids and I would like to be married when I do. All I can do is wait for it to be my time and I'm sure GOD will send a guy one day. I think it will be nice to finally get married and have a complete family.

Tough semester...

So far I am trying to make it through this semester. I don't think I'm doing too bad but I think I was doing a lot better last semester. I had to drop a class because I felt like I couldn't keep up with it and there was too much reading and it was definitely hard to keep up. It made me realize I can do four classes but five classes is too much. I am just hoping I can make it through this semester and pass my classes with at least a C. I joined a club in my department called the Community Service Club. I'm glad I was able to find a way to get involved on campus which was a goal of mines and also to be able to do community service and volunteering opportunities. I was able to volunteer yesterday and it was pretty cool. Its nice to be able to go out and help people. I can't wait for the next opportunity and who knows maybe their will be more people to come and help since it was only 5 of us.

Decided on a plan...

This is my first official post of the new year!! My last post I mentioned wanting to get rid of my flabby belly and needing to figure out how I was going to do it. Now, I have figured it out. I decided to go on the Nutrisystem plan. They are selling it on QVC and Marie Osmond was on there. They are selling the first five set. Which comes in a box and has a weeks worth of breakfast, lunch, dinner snacks and shakes. It costs a lot but I am just waiting on my school refund money then I can put in my order. I want to order the six week set of meals. Once I put in my order I will officially start exercising for at least an hour a day. I am excited to get started now that I have a plan in place. I think this is a good plan because I didn't know how I was going to get started and now I know. I will have all the food I need so I won't have to do any grocery shopping or planning meals. I just need to get a scale so I can keep track of my weight loss. So by summer time I should be able to lose a significant amount of weight and I am so ready to get started. Hopefully, I will be able to put my order in within the next couple weeks and get started by the beginning of February. I am just ready to start feeling good and comfortable with myself. I don't feel that way with my big belly so I am ready to get rid of it and not feel like I have to wear big clothes all the time. We'll see what happens and how much weight I can lose by July.