Feeling Good........

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!

Yeah I know I'm late with that now that its the day after but oh well. Its Black Friday!!!! One of the craziest shopping days of the year the other being the day after Christmas. I might actually try to hit a store today. Even though I'm not into the whole waiting in long lines and mega crowds. But Target has my favorite show Psych season 3 on sale for $12.99 and I'm so going to try and get it if its not sold out by the time I get up there. I already have seasons 1 and 2 so all I need is season 3 and still have to wait for season 4 to come out which won't be out until probably the end of next year. I'm trying to get me a laptop too. So lucky for me I'm working(more on that later) so I'm just trying to save up enough for one and the one I want is $400. So just a little more saving to go and hopefully I will have it by the end of this year.

I haven't blogged in awhile so the last post I wrote talked about me going to a staffing agency and getting hired at the job I had previous interviewed for. Well after the orientation I had to wait almost 2 weeks before I officially started working. So when I did I started out having to de-kit which was taking cell phones out of their box and sorting the pieces that came with it. It was an okay thing but standing on your feet for 8 hours is no fun especially when I was hired to do computer returns. Another thing that sucked was when I had to take the stuff out the box you have to use box cutters and scissors. Believe me when I say I have cut myself plenty of times it is not fun at all. Well so far I have been working there officially a month and half this week but either after next week or the week after I won't be working there anymore. Another story: 3 weeks ago I got a phone call about a job at a hospital. I'm lucky I made it to the phone to answer it at first I thought it was nobody but I answered it before it was too late. The guy called me on a Monday for an interview on Thursday. Believe me I was soooo anxious for that day. I had to be up and there early it was at 8:00am. Anyway after the interview came the hard, stressful wait to hear if I got the job but luckily I had another job so if that one didn't come through I always had the one I'm at now. So I basically waited 2 weeks before I heard anything then last Friday I got sick of waiting and called the guy myself to see what the verdict was and he told me then that I GOT THE JOB!!!! I'm still waiting to hear when I'm going to start so hopefully I'll find out by the end of next week. I'm so ready to start my new job but kinda dislike having to leave the job I'm at now. I've been there over a month and I'm use to being there and use to the people but I have to go to the job with the opportunity, the benefits, and no fear of being layed off. I can honestly say that is the best news I have gotten all year. Now I have my job at a hospital which it is a permanent one so no more jobs through temp. agencies. I'll hopefully be able to move into my own place by next August if everything goes good and working at a hospital they will help me pay for school since I'm going for a health related field and I'm planning to go back next Fall so everything is going great for me. Its been a long time since I can say that I'm happy with life and its a great feeling.

On a side note, the guy I always mention on here that I like who got back with his ex girlfriend FINALLY broke up with her. That's the second best news I have heard. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. I'm just glad he's done with her for good and I'm hoping he will be able to move on from her. She was no good for him and I honestly don't know why he wasted time with her in the first place. So glad that whole situation is over so I should be able to end this year happy I hope. We'll see what happens in the coming weeks. Thanksgiving: over, next stop: Christmas.

Suckiness and alrightness.........

Well on Tuesday I finally found out the verdict about the job I had been praying about and the guy told me that I didn't get the job. I was so devastated. I just could not believe why I didn't get the job and I was so sure that the job was going to come to me and I wouldn't have to worry anymore but it didn't and that really sucked a lot. So the search for a job continued and between Tuesday and Wednesday I applied to 20 jobs. So I was thinking I should hear from somebody. I also registered with this staffing company that works with the job that I wanted and after that a lady called me and set me up an appointment to come in at 3:30pm today. So I went in and made it at 3:30 filled out some paperwork and had to sit and wait. I don't think I got to see anybody until 4:15!! I had an appointment at 3:30 and it took until 4:15 for somebody to see me?! Not cool!! So I talked to a recruiter and after that had to fill out alot of paperwork. It was weird because the place closed at 5:00pm so I was there after hours and the majority of the time I was sitting waiting. I got done with the paperwork, took a drug test and got to take a typing test which I passed with flying colors. So once I finished that I finally got to leave and by then it was 5:30. So I was there for 2 hours when I'm thinking I should have only been there at least an hour. But I think I can say I have a job now and the cool thing is, is that its at the place where I wanted to work at so it all works out. Now I feel like I have two other jobs in mind that I want. First, one where I would be working in the morning from 6-10am and the other is one that I would want to do on the weekend so we will see how that works out. So I have orientation next Tuesday from 9am-12pm and hopefully I will start working after that since there might be a chance where we show up to orientation but won't get to start working right away so I hope I get to start right away and not have to wait for them to call and tell me when I can come in. So now I don't have to worry about looking for a job anymore which is good to me and all I have to do is try to work on the other two jobs I have in mind that I want to work at and see if I can get hired at those jobs. I think it would be so crazy to have three jobs but I think it will all work out since one of them is seasonal so it will be over by the end of this year and the other one I only want to work on the weekends and I wouldn't have to go every weekend so I think it will all work out but we will see what happens and see if I can get hired at one of them if not both.

Waiting, waiting, and more waiting.............

Well first I'll start out with what happened between me and my friend who I mention on here a lot as the one who broke my heart. Well to recap my last post, I said that he was talking about not wanting to be my friend anymore because he has a girfriend and I decided that I wanted to talk to him face to face and went up to his job. So I sat out in front of his job and waited and planned on how I was going to approach him but in the end it turned out to be a funny thing because when I finally got to go up to him while he was in his car waiting on someone he got really scared like why was I there. But the whole thing turned out pretty cool even though I didn't talk to him about what I wanted. Anyway, on Sunday we got to talk and he explained to me why he was talking about us not being friends anymore. But now we have agreed to officially be friends and I'm glad we had a chance to talk and now maybe things will stop being awkward between us because after everything happened I definately started feeling awkward and uncomfortable around him which sucked because he was the only person I felt the most comfortable around. We're also probably going to hang out this weekend so we'll see if that happens or not since you never know with this dude. But happy that we are friends since he is one of the closest friends I have and it would have sucked major to lose him in my life no matter what happens between us. Because no matter how dirty somebody treats me and hurts me eventually I'll end up forgiving them but not forgetting that's just the way GOD made me I guess. Sometimes I kinda hate that about myself always being the forgiver.

In other news, still no word on my dream job yet and its been about a week I been waiting for that phone call. I'm just praying I get the call tomorrow so I can finally get put out of this misery. I just really want to know what my fate is going to be. Am I going to be hired or am I not? I just want to know if everything is going to turn out good or are things going to stay bad. I'm just ready to know. I have so many plans and goals and I can't even think about any of them until I find out about this job. This waiting totally sucks but hopefully I will finally get the news tomorrow which it will officially be a week later since I been expecting the news. I just hope the wait is worth it. I also received a call from this staffing place today about a job. It scared the crap out of me I was seriously freaking out because I didn't know what I was going to do. I want my dream job and if I got hired on at this other job I would have felt bad to end up quitting once the job I'm waiting on finally came through. This job is suppose to start on Wednesday too. But I was so not wanting that job because the lady told me it was first shift and I am not in to having a first shift job anymore since eventually I want to go back to school, It was only suppose to be a 6 week assignment and I definately would have hated that because I would have got use to being there and if I didn't get hired on full time I would be right back where I am now, broke and looking for a job not knowing how long it would take. So I made the effort to go to the interview anyway since I thought this would be my plan B job if my dream job didn't come through. This job is way in another town and county and it took over 30 minutes to get there. I had the darndest time trying to find the place and I tried and tried and I couldn't call anyone since I don't have a cell phone at the moment but after awhile I just gave up and came back home. Once I got home I realized that it must have been part of GOD'S plan for me to not get this job. I see it as a sign because before I even left I had reservations and I was so upset I didn't want to go and I just wanted my dream job. I'm just praying that I get the job I been waiting on for over a week and that I won't have to stress out or be frustrated about getting a job anymore.

Seriously frustrated.........

Well it is officially Saturday morning and I still haven't a clue if I'm going to get this job or not. You don't know how pissed I was and I started crying because I really want this job and the frustration from waiting to hear really got to me. You just don't know how much I want and need this job and like I keep saying, I am praying my heart out that everything works out. So now I have to wait until the weekend is over before I'm able to find anything out. I really need to make some money so I can take care of myself. After what happened earlier it is evident. What happened earlier was, my mother gave me 20 bucks and I had to split it between putting gas in my car and buying food. Do you know how hard it is to try to buy food with only 10 bucks? It is very hard. I tried to go over in my head what I could get without going over budget but obviously that didn't work out. I went over just a little and all I got was some cereal and hot dogs. I'm just praying that everything works out and I get this job. I just hope all the stress, frustration, crying, and waiting is worth it. Also I'm still waiting on the money for when I worked last Saturday at that back breaking warehouse. I thought I was going to get it yesterday but I didn't and that added to the frustration because I really needed that money to buy food. If I had the money I wouldn't have had to worry about splitting that 20 in half. I have no idea if I'm going to get that money or even when. Plus the lady called me twice yesterday, which I'm assuming was to have me come in and work yesterday night but of course I avoided the phone calls because I am totally not trying to go back to that place.

In other news, I think the guy who I mention in my other posts, I think him and I are officially not going to be friends anymore. I was texting him earlier asking him if we were still friends because he doesn't act very friendly towards me anymore since he got back with his ex. I know after how much this dude has hurt me and after all the lies I shouldn't even want to be his friend but I feel like after all this time he had became one of my closest friends and it would hurt a little if we stopped being friends all together just because he has a girlfriend. I honestly don't get why him having a girlfriend should affect us being friends. But if we do stop talking then I guess it was meant to happen. I won't fight it because I am still pretty pissed off at him anyway for what he had recently did to me which was use my feelings against me and lie to me to hurt me even more than he already had. I honestly figured that even if he had a girlfriend we would still be friends but I can honestly see the changes between us everyday. Like he never calls, at least just to say hi and to see how I'm doing, we stopped hanging out and everytime he said we would he would come up with some lame excuse as to why we can't and I honestly stopped asking him when we could all together because there was no point he would always say I don't know or he's studying or some other excuse, and I was one of his top friends on myspace and the other day I noticed that he took me off. So like I said I was texting to find out if we are still friends and he said yes but I think he's saying that just because he has a girlfriend we are not allowed to hang out or even talk to each other anymore which actually I'm getting use to not texting or calling him anymore since tonight was the first time all week that I had tried to talk to him. Anyway, I'm trying to understand where we stand with each other and I had sent him 4 different texts and called him twice but he still hasn't answered so I'm assuming he's at work which I came up with the bright idea to go up to his job and sit and wait for him to get off so when I see him walking to his car, I can surprise him and try and talk to him face to face, which should be alot easier than trying to talk to him through text or call which he could ignore. So we'll see what happens. If we stop being friends this will be the third time I feel I have lost him and all because of his girlfriend which I guess I can't say that I lost him since I don't think I ever really had him.

I'm still waiting............

So its Thursday night and I'm still waiting on the news about the job. It is torture!! I didn't wake up early today I slept in but had the phone by me just in case. Still no news though. I called up there at 3:30pm and tried to see if I could find anything out. I thought I was going to find something out since the guy had put me on hold. The whole time I was on hold I just sat there and prayed for some good news but when he got back on the phone he still didn't have any news for me. So I'm still waiting and hoping that I get the news tomorrow. I would hate it if I don't hear anything and I would have to end up waiting for the weekend to be over to find out something. I can't take this wait but I don't have much of a choice but to have to wait. But like I said, I'm just praying for the good news tomorrow so I can stop stressing out over it and waiting by the phone everyday. I just want to officially be able to say I have a job and I won't have to worry about having to sit on the computer everyday and job hunt and wait for someone to call. I am sooo over having to deal with that. But until I find out I am still praying my heart out and I'm sooo hoping for the good news tomorrow.

Anyway, earlier at 7:30pm the lady from the last job I was working had the nerve to call. I'm thinking why is she calling me now at 7:30 at night when she had all day to call. So of course I didn't answer the phone because I don't want to go back to that job anyway. It just wasn't for me. I don't think I can deal with having that job that is 8 hours but feels like its 10 and having to deal with an aching back because I'm stuck standing in one place the whole shift. I'm just waiting on the good news from my dream job and I will wipe that other job from my memory. I just really hope and pray that everything works out for me. It just seems scary to me to think of wanting something good to go right in my life because I think something bad is going to happen instead like I'm not ever suppose to be happy. But I want to be happy and getting this job will make me so happy. I just want everything to work out so sick of everything turning out bad I think I deserve something good to go my way for once. One can only hope and pray for the best.

Another day waiting........

So Wednesday is over and I still don't have any good news to share about the job yet. But not saying that I don't have any good news to share. I finally got my car back yesterday morning so its fixed and ready for me drive all I need to do is put some gas in it and I'm set. I found out that I have lost almost 10lbs. I am excited about that since I'm sooo trying to lose weight especially in my midsection so I'm going to keep it up starting with going on walks more often. I also found my battery charger for my camera so I had a lot of good luck yesterday. I'm just praying that I have another day of good luck today and find out about the job. I am just ready to stop worrying and waiting by the phone for them to call. So hopefully I will get the good news today so I can stop waiting by the phone. I have been waiting by the phone for the past 2 days and its getting a little frustrating having to keep waiting and jumping everytime the phone rings and feeling disappointed when its not the call I been waiting for. But you know how the saying goes "Good things come to those who wait" and I am waiting and being as patient as possible. I'm still praying though and I'm so anxious to get that phone call. I'm just ready to start working and to get my life together.

Update on my last post.......

After I just finished writing my last post, I tried again to call up to find out the status of the job and the guy answered the phone. He let me know that he hadn't heard anything yet and he should be finding out pretty soon so I'm assuming that I should hear something by tomorrow. So like I said, until I hear something I will be praying my little heart out. I am just ready to finally get some well deserved good news in my life. I know I keep saying this over and over but it has been nothing but bad upon bad things happening to me all year and I am ready for the bad to be over and the good to start. Also, I haven't been up to that other job I was working these last couple of days. I was sitting here waiting on the lady to call me and let me know that I could come and she has not called. I don't know if I was suppose to go up there on my own but I could have sworn she told us she would call us. So now I'm thinking they probably thought I quit but then I'm thinking she would have called to see if I was coming back or not so I don't know. But I do know its too much hassle working that job and it seems disorganized so I'm better off not even working there even though I didn't care much about working there in the first place so it doesn't matter to me. Still praying until I get the good news.........

No news.......

Well its Tuesday and its 3:00pm and I still haven't heard anything about the job. I have been waiting by the phone since 8:00 this morning and I am starting to lose hope though I'm sad to say. But I'm still not giving up. I tried to call myself a few minutes ago but no answer. I'll probably try again in a little bit. I wasn't gonna give up hope for the day until 4:00 since I'm thinking after 4 nobody is gonna be calling about a job so I have exactly an hour left. If I don't hear anything then I will just have to wait until tomorrow and I am praying that they call me and give me the good news. I have been praying so badly for days and I feel that I'm confident to know that things will work out. I just have faith that the LORD will not let me down and that all the hardships I have dealt with this whole year will officially be over soon. I have faith that HE will get me through this hard time and everything will be alright. I keep thinking just in case there is a chance I don't get hired I should start finding other jobs to apply to just to be on the safe side. But like I said, I know the LORD will not let me down and he will work everything out in my favor. I just would be soooooo crushed if I don't get this job. I would seriously hate to add this to the list of disappointments that I have been dealing with all year. So still praying until I find out.

1 day to go......

Well I have officially 1 day to go until I find out if I get this job that I have been praying my heart out for. I will be so happy when today is over. Having to wait is straight torture and I'm glad the wait is almost over. I have been doing nothing but praying and keeping the faith. As well as staying positive and just saying that I know I am going to get this job. I'm positive that I'm going to get this job. I should be getting my car fixed hopefully today so when they do call me and tell me I got the job, I will be able to go to work without any problems and having to worry about needing someone to take me and pick me up since I don't have many options on who can do that anyway. My prayer will continue until the day I found out since you can never be too sure what will happen. I just know I'm going to get this job. I feel so determined to change my life around and make things better than it has been this whole year. I have gone through so many struggles and hardships all year and the past couple of months and this job will definately show me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and the struggles won't last forever. I'm so anxious waiting on this phone call but thankfully the weekend is over and all I have to do is wait until tomorrow. I am sooo ready. I will write back tomorrow after I find out what the verdict is. Will I get the job or won't I? You know I'm praying I will. Only GOD knows what is going to happen to me and my future and I really pray that the hard times are over and that everything is starting to get better. Believe me I can not take anymore bad and no more bad news and bad things happening to me. I really could use some good news in my life right now. So until then we will see what happens..........

Just a quick post......

Its about to turn 10:30am and I'm suppose to be getting ready to go to work and I really don't want to go. I have to be there by 12:30pm and I have to be at the bus stop by 11:30am. It sucksss so bad. I don't want to go to this job and be there all day. I know I shouldn't be complaining at all considering how much I need money but I really don't think this job is a good fit for me. Which is why I have been praying like crazy that I will get hired at the job I got interviewed for yesterday. I'm gonna have to be up at this place from 12:30-9pm and I don't want to. I really don't. That place is so raggedy and nasty looking I don't think I can handle it. Which, like I said, is why I'm praying for this other job soooooo much. Well I'm off to get ready to go to this place that I don't want to go to. Praying that everything works in my favor.

Cotinuation and nervous......

So to continue on with my last post I didn't have to go into work yesterday but the lady called and asked me to come in today from 12:30-9pm. That seems like all day but I need the money so I have no reason to complain. Plus I never have anything else better to do on Saturday anyway. Well to another topic I had a job interview with this company yesterday and that's what I am sooo nervous about. I was suppose to go in at 10:30am but my ride, who happened to be the guy who I talked about in my last posts about him hurting me to get back with his ex, anyway, he was my ride and then the night before he called me and told me that he wasn't going to be able to take me at 10:30 because his gf had to be at work at 11. So of course he had to take her to work and you know I get backburnered(is that even a word?) because he's gonna choose her first for everything. Of course she comes before me even though we had made the plans for him to take me and she told him at the last minute that he had to take her. You don't know how pissed off I was about that. Anything between me and him has definately been ruined by this girl and I know I shouldn't say this but I really wish he would break up with this girl once in for all and things can go back to normal between us and I don't have to feel awkward for needing favors or even wanting us to hang out. Another thing that pissed me off was this dude was seriously gonna have one of his friends take me to my job interview. Why would this dude even think I would go along with anything like that? To have some random guy that I don't know, never talked to or seen take me to my job interview. I know I'm not much of a priority to this dude anymore but it would be nice if he gave me a little consideration. Well I got the job interview rescheduled to 12:30pm so he was able to take me. Let's just say I felt really awkward being in the car with him especially considering where I was sitting his stinking gf was just sitting at. I had also found out that he had went to the casino without me when we were suppose to go together. He claims to had went with his friend but I think he went with his gf and he wasn't gonna tell me considering that we were suppose to go together. I realize this dude does soo much to piss me off and hurt me. I honestly question why I am even still friends with this guy.

Anyway, back to the job. I waited about an hour before my interview started and the lady finally came and I got to walk around the warehouse and she was explaining everything to me, what they do and what I would be doing. Then we sat in the break room where we continued the interview and it was really nice. I really think the interview went well. I was also shocked to here that for the position I applied to they had 140 applications and the hr manager choosed the top10 to send to the lady who interviewed me and she chose the top 5 from that so I made it to the top 5 out of 140 applicants. I really felt lucky and blessed to hear that. Now I have to wait until Tuesday to find out if I get the job or not. I am praying my heart out that I get this job. I know the odds are against me because out of the top 5 there were 3 internal candidates and 2 of us external candidates. I just see it as why choose one of the internal candidates when their already working there over someone who really needs a job. I just pray I get this job. I have to wait the next 3 days until I can find out and its going to be complete torture. But I'm definately trying to stay optimistic and trying to keep the faith that I will get this job. I would prefer this job over the one I have now but at least I know if this job falls through I do have the one I'm at now. I don't want this job to fall through I really want this job badly. The only thing I would have to worry about is the whole car situation if I actually do get this job but I know everything will work its self out. I know whatever happens is apart of GOD'S plan and what's meant to be will be. I just can't stop thinking about the possibilities if I do get this job. Like going to school and getting out of my mother's house which it is officially time for me to go so I really need this job more than anything. I know either way whether I get the job or I don't I know I will be crying when I find out. I pray everything works out. I'm so nervous but like I keep saying I'm praying that everything works out in my favor and I get this job. My ultimate goal is to get back in school in January and its coming up fast so I need to make sure I have a good job secure so I can start the process of registering because I want to have that taken care of by December. This job I currently have now I'm considered a temp and who knows if I will actually make it to real employee status. I'm so sick of the whole temp job thing after the last time. That's why I'm praying I get this other job because I'm actually getting hired on by the actual company not through a temp and not to mention the pay is really good and I will have a title. I would be an "Inventory Control Specialist" and at the job I'm at now I think I'm just a warehouse worker and the job I do is nothing worth while. If I stayed there I honestly would not know what to put on my resume to explain what it is I do. So its just sooooo many reason why I am going crazy about getting this job. I want it soooo much and soooo badly. But like I said all I can do is pray and stay encouraged, keep the faith, and stay optimistic and everything will work out. I'll write about what ends up happening and praying that I get to write some good news and nothing bad. LORD knows I could definately use some good news right now after all these bad things that's been happening to me the past few months.

WISH ME GOOD LUCK!!!!

Updating after another 2 months......

Well its been another 2 months since my last post. I can't believe I keep getting more spacey when it comes to posting. I'm trying to get on here and post more. But anyway, what's been going on with me in the last two months? Well my last post I told about how hurt I was about this guy choosing to be with his ex instead of with me. I can honestly say I am slowly but surely getting over that hurt. I'm not gonna lie, I am still bitter about the whole thing. I really cared about this guy and to just think about him being with his gf and going out with her and kissing her still hurts because I want that to be me. I want to be the one who has a guy to go out with on the weekends and someone who wants to call me just to check up on me. I just want to be loved and appreciated and wanted. Is that too much to ask for? Well, maybe one day it will be my turn to have the love of my life and to be with someone who cares about me just as much as I care about them. I always realize when I like someone I put more into then they do, like the whole relationship, whether we are together or not, I put 80% and he puts 20% instead of it being 50/50.

Also I have been going through the struggle of finding a job just like I have been all year. I have been doing the best I can filling out applications, putting in my resume, it is really hard to put in all those applications and to not be able to get anything at all. Well last week I saw a posting about a job fair that was suppose to be going on Monday and I definately planned on going. I thought if I go I might get lucky and get hired. But on Saturday my car ended up breaking down. You just could not realize how crushed I was because I didn't want to miss that job fair for anything and I didn't know how I would get to it without a car. There isn't anyone who I can depend on to ask to take me so my only option was to get on the bus. I am not an expert bus rider so I was nervous about getting on but I did my research and it all worked out I made it to the job fair and actually got hired I just had to wait on them to get my background check back then I could start. Well that happened yesterday. They called me back around 1:15pm and asked me if I could come in that day!! I can't believe they did that but I was determined to work so I went. Since I'm carless at the moment, I decided that I was going to walk. I walked 12 blocks and I had to hurry up in get there because I had to be there by 2:30pm!! I didn't have time to eat because I had woke up an hour before the lady called me and I didn't expect her to ask me to come in that day. Well I got to work and started working then after awhile I started getting dizzy and light-headed. I realized I must have had heat exhaustion. So I sat down for awhile and started to go back to work once I thought I was better but I started getting dizzy again so that's when I realized I needed to go home. Luckily, someone who lives down the street from me worked there and I was able to get a ride. Then later that night, the lady called me and told me that she thought I was a no call, no show because I didn't show up to the break room where I guess all the new people were suppose to meet. But when I got there there were a bunch of people outside for a meeting so I assumed that that's where I was suppose to be. Its not like I could distinguish against who was new and who had already worked there.

I'm going to continue this in another thread since I feel like I have wrote alot.

Very hurt........

Man, life is hard.......

This weekend was a very hard one for me. There was this guy I really, really liked and I have liked him for over a year now. But it looks like there is no more of "us". Me and him had a talk yesterday in which he informed me that him and his ex girlfriend would possibly be getting back together. I should have known this day would come but I just didn't want to believe it. Before I met this guy I didn't want to have anything to do with guys because I was sick of getting hurt. But then this guy came along, who I met at my former job a year and a half ago and ever since then we had become really close. I felt comfortable around him. I have never felt as comfortable and able to express myself freely around any other guy but him. So, of course, I assumed he was the one. Boy, was I dead wrong!! It really hurt me when he told me that basically he preferred to be with his ex girlfriend over me. And he use to tell me all this stuff that she would do to him that would make him mad. Plus his friends and family plus me would tell him to stay away from this girl, that she was no good for him. It just really sucks to be the one who got hurt and he is probably off not caring about how I feel even though he says he does. But it just seems like he got what he wanted which was her and I didn't get what I wanted which was him. So I am very hurt. For one thing, I feel like I lost one of my closest friends. And now things are a little awkward for me since he chose this girl over me. And I already know that once they get back together officially that our friendship will cease to exist. I am 98% sure that they will get back together and it just really sucks on my end. But this isn't the first time I have been hurt. This is just very shocking to me. It just really sucks that he would choose some childish girl who still needs to grow up over me. But when I analize it closer he still has some growing up to do too. But for all I know, once he gets back together with her, he'll realize he made a terrible mistake and realize she's not the one that he thought she was. One can only hope. But I give them 3 months tops. And even if he does realize it, I wouldn't want him anyway. After what he put me through. He at least made me come to the realization that I don't want a guy for a very long time. Its just gonna be me, myself, and I from now on.

How's It Goin?.....

Wow!! It seems like forever since I last posted. It has been over two months so I guess I have been slacking a little....okay A LOT!!!. Anyway, let's see if I can get up to date of what's been going on with me since. The job I had when I last posted I was unfortunately laid off from back in May. Which sucked big time because I was going to start taking coding classes and as soon as I was about to register I was laid off so I didn't get to put the money in for the class. Considering that I didn't know the next time I was going to be working and I had to save what money I had left on gas and food. Eventually, the money ran out and I was trying to get unemployment but that didn't work out since I was suppose to bring in 8 paystubs and only had 7 with the amount that they told me was suppose to be on them. My last check was under the amount since I was let go on a Monday. So when I couldn't get unemployment I started to panic and get really upset because I didn't know what I was going to do without money. How was I going to eat? I didn't want to have to go back to the way things were before I got that job: being broke, not having gas in my car or unable to buy food, and wondering how was going to eat the next day. But not long after I got a phone call from one of the temp places about a job and I was extremely happy. Now this was just last month. I went to the temp place to fill out paperwork and take a drug test and had to go to the job the next day. So the next day, I drive to the place and it took me about 30 mins. or more to find the place. So obviously, I was super late but it wasn't my fault I couldn't find the name of the place anywhere and it was just very confusing looking for address numbers. Anyway, when I finally got inside the place the dumb guy told me he didn't need me and that I could leave. I was so pissed. I went through trying to find that place and finally making it to getting sent back home as soon as I walked through the door. It sucked soo much. Then the company I was working for before that layed me off called me and gave me a job and this was two weeks ago. Let's just say I didn't want to go back there after they laid me off and I would feel really weird going back up there and having to see people I was working with before I was laid off. But what could I say? I really needed the money and so I went. And like I thought the whole first day I was there I felt really uncomfortable but I made it through. All the people I worked with, we knew what the deal was. We knew that we would be getting laid off anyday again. So all this week, we all knew that this could possibly be our last week. There was barely any work for anyone to do and we actually had a day off on Wednesday and nobody came to work. I didn't know that we weren't suppose to come in because I left early Tuesday to get home to watch Michael Jackson's memorial. So I go to work and there were no cars there!! I was really creeped out because it was close time to clock in and nobody was there but a couple of cars so I just sat there and I wasn't going in until more people showed up. After awhile I was just going to go in and see what was going on. So as I was riding up to the front door, two people I work with told me that we weren't working and to come in the next day. That was the first sign of trouble. Then yesterday was the second sign. We came in and there wasn't any work for us to do. So instead of telling us the go home they were just trying to find random stuff for us to do. I left early again like on Tuesday. Now today, I wasn't sure if we had to come in today or not so I got up early and took the drive and found we didn't. I had a feeling we didn't but I just wanted to make sure. And now they called me and I assume its to let me know that I'm laid off again. I haven't called them back to find out yet but I have a really good feeling that's what their calling for. All I know is that hopefully they don't call me back again because I won't be going back a third time to get laid off AGAIN! But today, I just found out that I got two job offers. Trying to call them but no luck in getting through yet. I just pray that things work out. I really need a job now and I hope I get hired on at one of these jobs. That's basically everything that's been going on in the past two months to today. I'll try not to wait another two months to post again. That's all for now.

Long time.....

Its been a long time since I have posted. Not much has been going on. I still have my job and I thank the LORD everyday for it. I really love working there. The work is easy once you get use to it and I can listen to my music. The day really flies by. I don't think I have ever had a job where the work day goes by quick. I just hope I can keep this job and don't have to worry about being fired or laid off. After this week, I will have been there a month so time is really going by fast.

This past weekend I finally got to buy me some rollerblades. But it looks like I will be taking them back. I tried to see if I was any good on them and I could barely keep my balance. So I think I will just buy some regular roller skates. But now I might have a problem taking the rollerblades back. I got them from Target and they have this policy about if your returning something it has to be new and unused. So I pray they cut me a break I only had the blades on to test and see if I was any good in them and that was only maybe 10-15 mins. So I will take them back probably this weekend and hopefully they will take them because I don't know what I'm going to do with rollerblades that I can't skate in.

Last Week.........

Well last week was really cool. I started my new job and I believe that I am going to like it. I'm working at a pharmaceutical company and I will be processing returned products. This job is cool for the simple fact that I get to sit down on my butt all day. It's really amazing to me because I never have had a job where I sit the whole time, only jobs where I have to stand all day. I didn't find out that it was a sit down job until my first day so I was pretty shocked. We get to sit in front of computers all day and we get to listen to music. So we can bring our Ipods, CD players, and CDs to use in the computer and listen to music all day. I know I'm really going to like it because I am not use to having a job where I get to sit the whole shift plus listen to music. I really lucked out with this job. I just hope that since this is a temp to hire job that I will get hired on full time with the company. I really would hate to get fired or layed off from this job because the money I'm making from here is going to my school fund plus my moving fund. It's a 90-day wait to be considered for full employment with the company and I just hope I can make it these 3 months and I'm just getting through with my first week so there is definately a long way to go. I just hope I don't have to worry about getting fired or layed off. I am sooooo over having to look for a job and sending resume after resume to different places and not hearing anything back.

I am sooo looking forward to the next couple of months. Next month I will be enrolling in my first class towards getting my certificate in Medical Coding and I am looking forward to it. I am so excited I can't wait until June when the class starts. I honestly feel like my life is turning around finally. I have a cool job and hopefully will be starting my classes in 2 months. I am ready. I'm just glad I will be able to get out of the house everyday. Before last week I have been basically stuck in the house everyday with nothing to do and no where to go, but now all that is changing and I'm glad. I see it like this: Sundays will be church(which I haven't been in awhile but definately ready to start going back and hopefully that will start in May) and if I'm sitting around the house bored I can go skating, Mondays and Wednesdays will be work and school, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays will be just work and possible studying, and Saturdays will be class and if I'm bored skating. So it looks like my days will be filled and its so nice to know I will have some where to go and something to do everyday besides staying in the house being bored. Someone my age should have things to do and not just be sitting in the house so I so so so can not wait until June, just 2 months away.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!........

Today is my birthday. YAY!!!!!!!!!! I must admit I feel great!!! Especially since I know I have a job now. Its just great to know that things are looking up. Now on my list of things to do is save money. Thats very important because I can take my coding classes that I want which I'm excited about. The classes start in June(June 1st to be exact) and I'm only taking one class at a time. The thing that surprised me when I went to look at the information is that I'm only thaking one class at a time so I'm only paying for one class at a time. That sounds alot better than paying $2000 all at once, which is what I thought I was going to have to do. So I am super excited and can not wait unitl May so I can register for the class. So I can actually say this has been a good week for me, considering its my birthday week too makes it even more awesome. Now I can't wait until the weekend. I get to hang out with my friend and then next week I start working. YAY!!!!!! Just when I thought my life was just getting worse and worse, it starts to get better when you least expect it to. So don't underestimate the power of prayer. It may take awhile for what you want to happen but if you believe and stay positive it will happen. I know I am very thankful to see another year and I can't wait to start this job.

Oh yeah I was also thinking now that I have a job and will have money that I would buy me some skates to help get me outside and to exercise. I don't know when I will get a chance to buy them, but it will definately be sometime this summer.

YES!!!!.......

I am sooooo happy!!! I can now officially say I have a job!! It feels really good to be able to say that. I feel like I have been waiting forever to get a job. I think I have filled out 90+ applications since December and it is just crazy that I haven't heard from anybody. I have filled out over 20 applications this month alone and not one place I have applied to has called me. But yesterday I got the call from the place I previously posted about saying they kept calling me for 2nd shift and that I wanted 1st and only 1st shift. Well, they finally called me for 1st shift and I start next week. I'm am so excited because the hours are from 6:30am-3pm. I can't believe I get off of work at 3pm!! That is early to me considering the last job I had I got off at 5 or 6pm and I came in at 6 or 7am. I really dislike 10 hour jobs. Luckily for me, this is an 8 hour job. So basically this job fits all of my criteria for a job, which is also in a previous post. So this job is a day or 1st shift job, its monday-friday(yay no weekends!), I get off way b4 5pm, and I think that's it lol. But I'm also glad that this job is in the city and I don't have to go out of the city to another town to work. I was also thinking that it would be cool if I got a job b4 my birthday and I did. My birthday is officially tomorrow. YAY!!! I will 22 years old and now that I have a job I feel great. The one thing I have a problem with is trying to go back to school. I thought I could go to the community college, but they don't offer evening classes for my major for some reason which sucks so now I have to go and search again to see what school I can go to next year. I just don't understand how they do not offer evening classes. I don't know what I am going to do bcuz I want to go to a school with an accredited progam and unfortunately its not that many options, but I'm going to try and hopefully I will fine something. But all I know is that I can officially cross find a job off my list of things to do and I can start saving up my money to move and to take the classes I want ro take. I can officially say that a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders and the monkey is finally, FINALLY off my back. I'm just glad that this job finally after a month came through for me. I must admit though it has really been a day to day struggle trying to get a job and live without any money but I am glad that this setback is going to be over.

My future plans.........

I just wanted to write down the things that I hope to accomplish in the future. By writing it down, I can look at it and hopefully it will motivate me to achieve my goals. So I always think about going back to school and what I want to do when I go back. But I don't plan on going back to school until either next Summer or Fall. But sometime this year I hope to be able to go take some Medical Coding classes so that I can get a certificate for that. Then after that, I plan to take some American Sign Language(ASL) classes. That is, if I have the money to. Then I plan on going back to school next Summer or Fall to get an Associates Degree in Health Care Administration or Technology(which ever one the school I go to offers). Hopefully I will be able to go to the Community College to get my Associates. Then I can transfer to the university and get a Bachelors Degree. Then I will decide on if I wil get a Masters. Then if I decide to go back to school when I'm a lot older, like late 30s or early 40s, I might go back to school to major in ASL. That's what I wanted to go to school for first, but now I really want to go to school for Health Care Technology. But we will see what happens because I have been interested in ASL for years now and right now I'm
teaching myself how to sign. It is definately a hobby of mines. So who knows if in the future if I will go to school for it
I hope I do but we will see because by then I'm hoping to be married with kids and my family will probably be occupying all my time, but anything can happen.

its been awhile......

It has been awhile since I have posted anything. Not much has happened since the last time I posted. I'm still, unfortunately, looking for a job. But I still continue to pray that I will get one soon. As a matter of fact, I just got a phone call the other day from this place I use to work for. They called just to verify if it was the right number to reach me at and that they would probably call me this week about a job. Now I find this very strange because they were the people that fired me back in December and why I am unemployed to this day. It just seems really weird to me that they would be calling me considering they fired me. But all I know is if they offer me a job I would be a fool not to take it considering I have been unemployed for over 3 months now and I am in serious need of some money. As much as I would take the job, it would still scare me to have it because I would never know when they would decide to fire me out the blue again. It would seem like a big risk but its a risk that I would be willing to take. So we will see what will happen with this. I just hope I do get hired back as much as I have reservations about it, its still good money and I just really need money right now. The plus side would be getting to save the money I need to take the classes I want to take. Anyway, before that news came I was also thinking about taking a job of delivering newspapers. I thought it would be a cool thing because you can make decent money by only working about 2-3 hours every morning. That would work out perfect for me since for some reason I'm always up in the early morning watching tv or listening to music. But like I always say, I will just have to wait and see what happens. I'm praying for a good outcome and hopefully will have something before March is over.

Crush part1

Who else out there have crushes on famous people? I'm just going to call them not-so-normal people because they are just like us but in the limelight. I don't want to say I have a crush on a celebrity or famous person. But growing up I can not tell you how many crushes I have had. Some of them I'm a little embarrassed about now because they were much older and I was just a kid.

I'm crushing on Marques Houston. I love, love, LOVE me some Marques Houston. He was so cute when he was a

kid and now he is a sexy man. His girlfriend is very lucky. But I love him and his music. I'm still a big Immature/IMX fan. I keep messing up my cds and have to buy them over. I had to buy 3 of there cds 3 times I keep playing them over and over. My favorite is definately "We Got It" I can listen to that over and over. That's my favorite cd for the summer. I can't get enough of watching his movies. My favorites are "You Got Served" and "House Party 3." I was also a HUGE fan of his tv show "CUTS" I had to watch it every week and I still have it on tape to this day. Because I made sure to record it. I knew when they stop playing the show that I would never see it on tv again, which I was right so I taped every episode I could until they stopped airing the show. Loved that Kev Care song. "Run your fingers through some Kev Care" lol.

Still no luck.........

We'll so far I'm still not having any luck in the job department. I was so close to having a job but everybody who applied, including me, wanted 1st shift. So the guy who hires says it will take longer to get on if you want 1st shift and quicker if you get on 2nd because barely anybody has applied for 2nd. The thing that makes me mad is that everytime the guy called he kept talking about putting me on 2nd and I have told him every single time that I wanted 1st. The last time he called me he started talking 2nd shift and I told him twice before that, that I wanted 1st shift and only 1st. There is no way I'm taking 2nd shift because its from 3:30pm-2am and I am not trying to go to work in the afternoon and get off in the early morning. I thought about it for a while and I thought "how would I be able to go out or do things if I'm working this time"? And "it will be impossible to be able to go to school working this time"? So I couldn't do it. I'm feel like it is hard to get a 1st shift job. That's all I want. I can go to work in the morning and get off in the afternoon and when I'm ready I can go to school at night. I just hope things work out. I have been unemployed officially for 3 months now and I am getting very tired of not having a job. I at least applied to 5 different jobs yesterday. So I see it as, the more I apply to, the chance I'll have at getting hired somewhere. I'm definately trying to keep the faith.

I know this may sound picky but I have a criteria of what job I want. And if the job doesn't meet the criteria then I don't apply to it. Here's my criteria:
1.) Has to 1st shift/day job
2.) Has to be 8 hours
3.) Has to be Monday-Friday
4.) Can't get off no later than 5pm
So basically if I can't find a job that meets my criteria than I don't want the job, but I would work weekends even though #3 says different but I would only want to work a couple of hours and not 8. Maybe once I can get a full time job I'll think about getting a part time job during the weekend. But it will be a long time before I decide that. The only thing I'm thinking about now is getting a full time job and hopefully my wait and search will officially be over soon.

Nice...........

It is a very nice day outside, but what am I doing? Nothing. I'm just sitting in the house when I could be out enjoying the weather like everybody else. But if I have no where to go, obviously I'm going to stay in the house. I wish I did have something to do. It wouldbe nice to have something to do on thw weekend for a change. Maybe one of these days I will. But for right now, I staying in the house.

End of February.........

Well it is officially the end of February. It really sucks bcuz in this entire month I still have not been able to get a job and I really, really, REALLY wanted to have a job before it became March. I guess things don't always work out the way you want them to or have planned. I'm still going to stay optimistic and pray that the LORD will bless me with a job before March is over. I guess we'll see what happens. It just makes me feel frustrated to not be able to get a job. What amazes me the most is that I have filled out 24 job applications this entire month. 24!!!! And I don't have anything to show for it. I'm just praying my heart out that I can get a job before March is over. I want to be able to go to school and take some classes this summer and I'm wanting to get my own place before October and I need all the time I can get to be able to work amd save up the money I need for the things I want to do. I can't move on and do the things I want to do without a job. It just saddens me to think I won't get a job soon enough to save the money I need to accomplish my goals. I'm determined to do what I can to get a job its just a little hard when there is not much things to apply to sometimes. But I will keep my faith in the LORD and pray that HE has a plan for me and that everything will work out for me and that I don't have to worry about anything.

HAPPY MARDI GRAS!!!!!!!

Well it is Mardi Gras time and I wish I could have went. I don't have a job or anything holding me back from going right now and I know next year I will. But hopefully one day in the future I will get to go with my friends. I have been to Mardi Gras twice in the past when I was in high school, but didn't really do much as the people there enjoying it. Since I was there more on business than for fun, but me and my friends/family made it fun besides the hard work of having to march in 3 parades, which believe me, depending on the parade it is not easy. We were down there for 3 days and it is along drive but always fun to be around the people I considered my family and I still consider them family even though we don't see or hear from each other much. But those times were great and very memorable. I can't wait to be able to go down there with friends in the future!! HAPPY MARDI GRAS!!!!!

Disappointed...........

Well it looks like I won't be going on that date tonight afterall. I know it sucks but I guess I should be use to disapointment by now. I just wish things could go right for me sometimes. Well maybe some other time me and my favorite guy will go out, but right now, I don't know how things are going to work out between us now bcuz I feel like I'm wasting my time on someone who doesn't have time for me. But I'm usually not one to give up on things especially someone I truly have feelings for. So we will see as time goes how things work out, but I'm going to stay optomistic about this situation and hopefully things will turn out good in the end.

On another note, I am ready for the weekend to be over so I can find out if I have a job or not. I'm hoping on Monday I will be able to say I have a job. If not Monday, then hopefully, Tuesday. But, by this time next week, I hope I can honestly say that I have a job.

Late night........

Well it is 3:30 in the morning and I'm writing this entry from my phone. I have a sidekick 3 and I just got it turned back on after not using it for over a year and realizing how much I missed it. So I was excited about getting it turned on especially since I've had my other phone cut off for a month and texting is the only way I prefer to communicate with people. Now I need to by some accessories for it and the only way I know how is to do it online.

Anyway, I am looking forward to later on today bcuz I'm going on a date with my favorite guy who I barely get to see. We are going to go see Madea so I'm looking forward to that. I just hope my favorite guy and I can start hanging out like we use to. We have only seen each other once in the past 2 months. So I'm hoping things will go back to the way it use to be and we can start hanging out more bcuz I really miss that.

Starting out on a good note........

Well my day is starting out good and I have only been up for a half an hour lol. Well I woke up and decided to look for the phone since it wasn't in its normal place. I found it and see a number on there that called 2 hours before. So thinking it was for a job I called it back and it was for a job that I had applied to a couple of days ago. I talked to the guy and he wants me to come in at 3:30 this afternoon. I was happy but scared at the same time because I don't have any gas in my car and I didn't have the money to put any in, so I was trying to figure out how I was going to make it to the place and back without fear of my car stopping on me. I was at least gonna put the last 4 dollars I had in my bank account in and prayed it would help. Lucky for me, I checked my bank account and my tax money is in there!!!!!! I was shocked when I saw it because I didn't think it would be put in until tomorrow. So now I finally have some money in the bank plus a job interview today so I am feeling good right now. But what would really make me happy even more is if I get the job. I will definately be praying on that.

Stressing Out........

I am stressing out about not having a job. I continue to pray and hopefully by the end of next week I will have something. I have applied to 6 jobs in the past 2 days so I'm praying something will come up soon. I am really hoping I will get something asap because I am so ready to move into my own place. I am just getting frustrated with still living with my mother. As the days go by, the more I want to leave but I can't because I don't have any money. It will be March in a week in a half and I am worried that I won't find anything by then. But all I can do is continue to pray and be optimistic and hopefully the LORD will allow something to come my way.

Waiting for Monday............

Well today is Valentine's Day. Like I said, nothing is happening in the love department for me but at least there is a day I am looking forward to: Monday. Monday is President's Day and I can honestly say President's Day is better than Valentine's Day. I actually will be getting something I like and that is to see my show "The Presidents" on The History Channel. I always watch it when it comes on. It's so fun to learn about the past Presidents. I love watching The History Channel and The Presidents is probably my favoritiest program that they play on there. Luckily for me it comes on twice, in the morning and the afternoon, since I plan on going job hunting Monday morning I will get to see it in the afternoon instead. So I'm looking forward to that. I can't wait!!!!!

It is here........

Well it seems like Valentine's Day is here. I'm glad so now this day can finally be over. As you can tell from one of my previous posts, Valentine's Day really sucks to me. I wish it was just another normal day. The day always makes single people feel more lonelier than what they are and it definately works on me. I just wish I had a guy to bring me things or at least take me out on a date, but that doesn't seem like its going to happen. So I already know I will be stuck in the house all day doing nothing but trying to keep myself company. I hope I don't get too emotional about being alone and start crying. I know I'm not going to be the only one alone on this day but it would be nice to be able to at least hang with a friend or something that doesn't have me staring at the wall all day. VALENTINE'S DAY SUCKS!!!!!!!

A boring night............

Tonight is soooooooooo boring. I am stuck in the house with nothing to do but watch tv. Not my idea of a good time, but at least there was a new episode of Degrassi on tonight so it wasn't a total loss and later on I'll get to watch my other fav. show Psych at 1 since I forgot about it at 10 because I was somewhat watching the new episode of Degrassi. But my friday nights are always sooooo boring. Everybody is out the house but me and it sucks. You would think a 21 almost 22 year old would have better things to do on friday nights and the weekend but for some reason I never do. I feel like all I do is sit in the house and either sleep, get on the computer, or watch tv. Not something every 21 year old normally does on the weekend but that is usually how my weekends go. I feel like I am friendless and I wish it was some way I can make friends so I can have someone to hang out with on the weekends. Not saying that I don't have friends but my best friend I barely see or talk to because she doesn't have a phone or stay in one place for a while, not cool for someone who is 23 and has a kid. And I'm too lazy to go up to her job which is the only way I can basically talk to her. Other people who are my friends are either at school or I only see them on random occasions. I have no boyfriend either which is nothing new so I'm always alone. Sometimes I wish I had a guy in my life so when I'm bored I know that I could have someone to spend time with if not that at least someone to talk to when I am bored. I don't understand why my life is so boring but hopefully one day that will change. I wish it would now because having nothing to do on the weekend is really, really sucky especially if your 22 years old.

The Search Is On..........

Well I'm still on the search for another job. I have found a few prospects so I will be heading to the places on Monday. One job I saw is in Fishers that seems decent, but I have to go all the way out to Lebanon to apply for it. It made me a little mad because I live closer to Fishers, but have to go all the way to Lebanon to apply for the job. That really sucks. Lebanon is in a whole other county and is 40 minutes from where I live. But I'm going to try and make an effort to go out there Monday morning. I need to make an effort to get me a job and get my life together. Hopefully by this time next week I will have got something because I really want a job before March. But I guess we will see when that time comes.

Downtown Indy!!!

One of my favorite places to be at is Downtown Indy!!!! I don't know what it is about Downtown, but it just seems like a special place. I love love LOVE going down there, day or night. It is so fun being down there to me, even when there is nothing to do. Even though there are some not nice looking buildings down there, it has alot of character. The first building you see when you look at Downtown is the Chase Bank Building(formally Bank One) the tallest building down there. I love to learn the history and would go to the library just to get books and its so amazing to see before and after pictures. Seeing pictures from the 1800s compared to what things look like now is just an amazing thing to see. A dream I have of one day fulfilling is getting to actually stay in one of the fancy hotels. My best friend and I use to go what I call "crashing hotels." My favorite one down there is the Conrad(pictured at the top) the highest floor you can go is I think the 6th and that floor has the pool and exercise room. So we would go in there and sit on a machine and watch tv because they have little tvs on the machines with cable. Another place I like is the canal(if you look in the water it may be nasty looking although I haven't been in awhile and I heard they cleaned it months back so I don't know if its nasty looking now) I had the best first date there with this guy and I can still remember it like it was yesterday where we just walked and talked and got to know each other it was great. It was the best date I had been on ever!! But the one thing I'm not to fond of with downtown but I am getting use to is the streets. Its so easy to get down there, but when you want to leave I use to have the hardest time finding my way out plus there are alot of one way streets and it can get confusing. Luckily for me, I got a map from the library so if I ever need help getting out or finding my way around it helps me everytime. I LOVE IT DOWN THERE!!!!!!

Oh well.......

So I went to my job training today and afterwards realized that I won't be taking the job. I know that was a big decision for me to make and I'm glad I made up my mind before I signed any papers. So as much as I hate to say it, now I have to continue on my search for another job. It saddens me to think that for a few days I was so excited about having a job and now I'm declining the offer. The reason why I've decided not to continue with the job is at the training they told us what we were going to be doing which is selling vacuum cleaners. SELLING VACUUM CLEANERS???!!!! I can not believe it. Basically we have to go to people's houses and demonstrate a vacuum cleaner in the hopes that they will want to buy it. I'm not gonna lie, it was the cooloest vacuum cleaner I have ever seen it picks up everything, you can clean your whole house with it, carpets, hardwood floors, walls, ceilings, even your mattresses because we all know as gross as it is whats in our bed. BUGS AND THEIR FECES!!!!! We sleep in it everyday plus our dead skin. I tried to get with it and think I can do this, but then I realized I don't want to go door to door trying to demonstrate a vacuum cleaner. That's not the job I signed up for anyway, I thought I was going to be sitting at a desk answering phones. As much as I need a job right now, I have decided to sacrifice that job in the hopes of finding one I would feel more comfortable with. I mean, nobody wants to do a job they don't feel comfortable with right? So unfortunately I won't be going back tomorrow. But now I definately need to get back to praying and hopefully I will find another job before March. But I hate to have to go through the feeling of not having a job again. It just wasn't for me and hopefully I will find something that is real soon. I know in this day and time it's not good to be picky about a job, but like I said before I don't want to do a job that I am not comfortable doing. I guess the monkey is back on my back and I'm still carrying alot of weight on my shoulders I'm ready to be able to feel comfortable again.

Just a thought.....

Well I am still excited that I have a job. I will be going back for training today at 1pm so that meant I had to wake up early, hence why I'm up now lol. I would usually still be sleep right now. Anyway, I almost scared myself yesterday because before I left my orientation yesterday they told us to call up there between 8 and 8:30 last night to make sure everything was alright and that there was going to be no problem with us working there. So like a dummy I completely forgot to call back. It was after 8:30(8:37 to be exact) and I wouldn't have remembered at all if the phone didn't ring and made me remember. I had to hurry up and run outside to get the number and call. Luckily, everything was okay but I really scared myself that time. So now, it seems like since this is a brand new job and I still really don't know what I will be doing yet, I keep thinking, "What if I don't like this job"?, "What if it isn't right for me"?, I keep thinking that and I just hope everything works out because I don't want to have to look for another job again. I'm blessed to even have this one. So I really hope everything works out and once I know what we are suppose to do and I get use to it then I should be fine.

Still excited

I'm still excited that I finally have a job!!! It is the best feeling to have after 2 months of being unemployed and basically broke I now have a job and its great. I have to go back tomorrow and friday for training then I will be there all next week it is great to know I have somewhere to go everyday besides being stuck in the house. The thing is we have to dress professionally when we go up there and 1.) I don't have that many professional clothes, although I don't think it's anything wrong with wearing the same thing and 2.) I can barely fit any of my dress pants which means I am gaining too much weight even though I start exercising everyday now. I can't even afford to by any new clothes so I am ready to get in the grind of working so I can make some money, I really need it.

The Verdict Is........

Well I called up to the job I interviewed for yesterday to see if they were going to hire me. I was soooooo scared and nervous that I didn't know what the outcome was going to be. I thought about it until I went to sleep earlier(I say earlier because I didn't go to sleep until after 4 this morning). Anyway, before I called I made sure to pray to the LORD up above. Then I called and they told me.......................that they decided to HIRE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's right I actually have a job and I am soooooo excited I still can not believe after 2 months and all the struggles in between I finally have a job now. So now I don't have to worry about looking everyday anymore and that definately is a great weight off my shoulders. I have to go back tomorrow to learn more about everything else since they only just gave us a general feel of what the job was but didn't really explain much. Now I can shout it: THE MONKEY IS FINALLY OFF MY BACK!!!!! lol. I made sure after I got off in all my excitement to thank the LORD he helped me get this job. Before I went in to the interview yesterday and before I called today I made sure to pray and my prayer was answered after weeks and weeks of praying about getting a job I finally have one and I feel so great now and I have had very low days. Now I can have money and buy things I need and to save up to get my place and to go to school like I want to. I just hope that I will like this job and that everything will work out because right now things are starting to look up in my life.

So...............

So I went to my job interview earlier, well it wasnt really an interview it was a bunch of us who came in and a guy talked to us for awhile about the company we could possibly be working for. We all filled out applications and listened to him talk. He told us to call back up there tomorrow between 9:45 and 10:00 am. I really, really, REALLY pray that they tell me I was chosen. I made sure that before I walked up in the building I prayed to the LORD up above. HE'S the only one I believe that will be able to make it possible for me to get this job. So I really hope all things will work out. I don't know what I will do if I do not get this job. I just want to get this monkey off my back.

Howdy Doo!!!!

Hey!! What's going on everybody!!!!

It is 8:42 in the morning and I can not believe I am up right now. Usually I would be sleep and I wouldn't be up until 11 or 12. So who knows if I will go and lay down now but I might try to attempt in a little while. Anyway, I am a little excited because I have my job interview later on today so I am diffenitely(sp?) ready to go. I just really hope I get this job. Lord knows I need it and it will be a great weight off my shoulders to get this job. I am ready to get this monkey off my back. So hopefully everything works out, it's all I have been thinking about all weekend. I just hope I am blessed enough to be one of the people they choose to hire. I AM SOOOOO BROKE!!!!! Luckily, I just turned in my taxes last night (whooo hoooo!!!!) so I should be getting some money really soon. I can not wait. I have bills that still need to be paid so unfortunately half of my money will go to that. BOOOOOO!!!! Oh well, a job will do me some good.

Family and Valentine's Day

I was wondering if anybody my age that is single thinks about starting a family like I do. I always think about wanting to start a family now. I know I'm still young and have plenty of time but it comes across my mind all the time that I wish I could get married and start a family. I want at least 4 kids so I saythe earlier I start the more I canhave. But I have to find the right guy first but thats all in GOD's hands. Plus there is still alot of things I want to do before I have kids. I'm still wanting to get back in school which probably won't happen until next year and I need a good decent job, as well as needing to move out of my mother's house which will hopefully happen by the end of this year. But I think I have really been having baby fever for awhile now. Its sooooooooo many people my age and people I went to high school with who have kids now and everytime I see someone with a kid or someone who is having one it makes me wish that I could have one too. I know having kids is a big responsibility and it shouldn't be taking lightly but I can't help having the feeling that I'm ready to start having them. At least I know I'm not a teenager and having a kid in high school. I'm blessed to not be one of those statistics. But like I said before its all in GOD's hands and when he feels the time is right for me to have a boyfriend, get married, and have kids it will happen and hopefully I will be ready. I just hope it happens before I turn 30, I always think that if I'm over 30 and am not married and have no kids that its too late. I know thats crazy but thats the crazy thought in my head.

Well Valentine's Day is coming up. BOOOOO!!!!! is what I say. Valentine's Day is always a sucky day in my book. I am officially going to start treating it like a regular day if was just that easy. All the things you can buy at the store for your "loved ones" makes me wish I had someone to buy me something and make me feel special for a day. But who knows when that will ever happen. I'm kinda hoping that maybe this year I will get something special or go on a date. I have a guy who could possibly be my valentine but who knows what will happen. But it always seems to be the same thing every year just me and me alone.

Blah Week

Well so far my week has been boring but its always boring so thats nothing new. I have a job interview on monday! YAY!!!!!! I'm praying my heart out I get the job so my search can finally be over. I have been struggling for 2 months to get a job and I am super broke. I only have $20 to my name (seriously!!!! thats all I have). Luckily since its tax time I will be getting money as soon as I turn it in. So I am looking forward to that. But like I said, hopefully I will get this job. I can not take not having a job and 2 months without a job is long enough especially considering I have no money AT ALL!!!! Except for $20 which I will have to use on monday to put gas in my car to get to the job interview. So like I keep saying I really, really, REALLY need a job like yesterday. SO i am hoping, wishing, and praying my heart out that I get this job. Hopefully everything will work out.

A little about me

Hey all!!!!

My name is Stacee and I live in Indiana. Thats right, GO COLTS!!!!! Anyway, Im 21 almost 22 in March and I decided to start a blog. Right now, not really doing much with my life. I dont have a job at the moment but am looking and applying to soooo many I have lost count. Im also not in school right now, although I wish I were but cant go back to school until I have a job. I am sooooo looking forward to moving out on my own hopefully sometime this year but not until i can get a job. It just seems like there is sooooooo much I want to do and sooooo many goals I want to accomplish but cannot do it unless I have a job. So as you can tell I am soooo desperate to get a job and hopefully GOD will bless me with one soon. I must admit it is not easy being poor and since I have been jobless for the past 2 months I have been poor for awhile. So hopefully I will have a job b4 this month is over. Wish me luck!!!! I will keep my job search posted on here.