Very hurt........

Man, life is hard.......

This weekend was a very hard one for me. There was this guy I really, really liked and I have liked him for over a year now. But it looks like there is no more of "us". Me and him had a talk yesterday in which he informed me that him and his ex girlfriend would possibly be getting back together. I should have known this day would come but I just didn't want to believe it. Before I met this guy I didn't want to have anything to do with guys because I was sick of getting hurt. But then this guy came along, who I met at my former job a year and a half ago and ever since then we had become really close. I felt comfortable around him. I have never felt as comfortable and able to express myself freely around any other guy but him. So, of course, I assumed he was the one. Boy, was I dead wrong!! It really hurt me when he told me that basically he preferred to be with his ex girlfriend over me. And he use to tell me all this stuff that she would do to him that would make him mad. Plus his friends and family plus me would tell him to stay away from this girl, that she was no good for him. It just really sucks to be the one who got hurt and he is probably off not caring about how I feel even though he says he does. But it just seems like he got what he wanted which was her and I didn't get what I wanted which was him. So I am very hurt. For one thing, I feel like I lost one of my closest friends. And now things are a little awkward for me since he chose this girl over me. And I already know that once they get back together officially that our friendship will cease to exist. I am 98% sure that they will get back together and it just really sucks on my end. But this isn't the first time I have been hurt. This is just very shocking to me. It just really sucks that he would choose some childish girl who still needs to grow up over me. But when I analize it closer he still has some growing up to do too. But for all I know, once he gets back together with her, he'll realize he made a terrible mistake and realize she's not the one that he thought she was. One can only hope. But I give them 3 months tops. And even if he does realize it, I wouldn't want him anyway. After what he put me through. He at least made me come to the realization that I don't want a guy for a very long time. Its just gonna be me, myself, and I from now on.

How's It Goin?.....

Wow!! It seems like forever since I last posted. It has been over two months so I guess I have been slacking a little....okay A LOT!!!. Anyway, let's see if I can get up to date of what's been going on with me since. The job I had when I last posted I was unfortunately laid off from back in May. Which sucked big time because I was going to start taking coding classes and as soon as I was about to register I was laid off so I didn't get to put the money in for the class. Considering that I didn't know the next time I was going to be working and I had to save what money I had left on gas and food. Eventually, the money ran out and I was trying to get unemployment but that didn't work out since I was suppose to bring in 8 paystubs and only had 7 with the amount that they told me was suppose to be on them. My last check was under the amount since I was let go on a Monday. So when I couldn't get unemployment I started to panic and get really upset because I didn't know what I was going to do without money. How was I going to eat? I didn't want to have to go back to the way things were before I got that job: being broke, not having gas in my car or unable to buy food, and wondering how was going to eat the next day. But not long after I got a phone call from one of the temp places about a job and I was extremely happy. Now this was just last month. I went to the temp place to fill out paperwork and take a drug test and had to go to the job the next day. So the next day, I drive to the place and it took me about 30 mins. or more to find the place. So obviously, I was super late but it wasn't my fault I couldn't find the name of the place anywhere and it was just very confusing looking for address numbers. Anyway, when I finally got inside the place the dumb guy told me he didn't need me and that I could leave. I was so pissed. I went through trying to find that place and finally making it to getting sent back home as soon as I walked through the door. It sucked soo much. Then the company I was working for before that layed me off called me and gave me a job and this was two weeks ago. Let's just say I didn't want to go back there after they laid me off and I would feel really weird going back up there and having to see people I was working with before I was laid off. But what could I say? I really needed the money and so I went. And like I thought the whole first day I was there I felt really uncomfortable but I made it through. All the people I worked with, we knew what the deal was. We knew that we would be getting laid off anyday again. So all this week, we all knew that this could possibly be our last week. There was barely any work for anyone to do and we actually had a day off on Wednesday and nobody came to work. I didn't know that we weren't suppose to come in because I left early Tuesday to get home to watch Michael Jackson's memorial. So I go to work and there were no cars there!! I was really creeped out because it was close time to clock in and nobody was there but a couple of cars so I just sat there and I wasn't going in until more people showed up. After awhile I was just going to go in and see what was going on. So as I was riding up to the front door, two people I work with told me that we weren't working and to come in the next day. That was the first sign of trouble. Then yesterday was the second sign. We came in and there wasn't any work for us to do. So instead of telling us the go home they were just trying to find random stuff for us to do. I left early again like on Tuesday. Now today, I wasn't sure if we had to come in today or not so I got up early and took the drive and found we didn't. I had a feeling we didn't but I just wanted to make sure. And now they called me and I assume its to let me know that I'm laid off again. I haven't called them back to find out yet but I have a really good feeling that's what their calling for. All I know is that hopefully they don't call me back again because I won't be going back a third time to get laid off AGAIN! But today, I just found out that I got two job offers. Trying to call them but no luck in getting through yet. I just pray that things work out. I really need a job now and I hope I get hired on at one of these jobs. That's basically everything that's been going on in the past two months to today. I'll try not to wait another two months to post again. That's all for now.