Heading to December...

I can't believe it is almost December. It will be officially December in 2 more days. My baby's birthday is on the first she will be the big 3. It is hard to believe 3 years have came and gone already. The girls are getting so big and I pray the LORD blesses me with more kids one day. On Sunday, I went to go see Janet Jackson and it was an awesome show. I kinda wish I could see it again and get closer seats. I was in the 8th row so close to the stage but hopefully the next concert I go to I can be even more closer to the stage. I went with the guy that has pretty much turned into my go to guy for dates although I wish it could be more than that. I feel like there is something there between us and it is funny to me because it seems like we both want to kiss each other but neither one of us want to make the first move or we are scared to go there. As long as I have known him, which has been since April, all we have done is hug which is cool but it would be nice if we could be more affectionate to each other. I guess it would be better to wait until we got to a point where we are more than just dates. I was just thinking that it would be cool if we spent New Years Eve together and we could share our first kiss at midnight and maybe officially become a couple and start the New Year off as boyfriend and girlfriend. I think that would be so awesome if that were to happen.

Nothing yet...

It's been awhile again since I posted. I hate slacking and letting so much time pass. Still haven't found another job yet unfortunately but maybe the right one will come along one day but I guess its not happening right now. The Fall semester is almost over and I think I have been doing horrible. Some stuff I haven't been turning in because of procrastination or just not knowing what to do. I am hoping that I will do better and do the best I can before the semester is over. I can't believe the year is almost over, only less than 2 months and it will be the new year. Still single. Doesn't look like I am going to be getting a man anytime soon and I am okay with that. The two guys that I was talking to, one of them I still talk to every now and again but I haven't seen him since September. The other guy ghosted on me. I have no idea what happened to him and why he stopped talking to me all of a sudden. I really thought he was interested in me and I haven't seen or heard from this guy in months but at least I was able to get a computer out the deal. The other guy I still talk to, I wish he would be my boyfriend and one day my husband. It just seems like we both want the same thing and he is a good guy but I feel like I am not what he is interested in because if he were interested then I would assume we would hang out more than we do. Plus I always feel like I am the one who initiates a conversation. It would be so lovely if I could finally find a guy who would chase after me, initiates conversations, and ask me out instead of the other way around. I feel like I am always the one doing the most and I feel like it should be the man. I think that is why I am done with guys for now. The right guy just never seems to come around. I have been single almost four and a half years. How much longer am I going to be single? I hope its not another four but I feel like with the way things are going I will probably end up being a cat lady. Old and alone. I feel like the older I get the more I should have someone to be able to spend my life with. I still would love to have a couple more kids but only with my husband so hopefully it is possible to meet a guy if I haven't already met him, spend time with each other and get to know each other, get married, enjoy being married for awhile before we start having kids and enjoy the rest of our lives together, as long as divorce doesn't come in. I just hope within the next 2 to 3 years I will be married. I am not getting any younger and the older I get the window to having more kids start to close.