Job searching...

I am trying to decide if I am planning on leaving my job. The woman I have been working with left on disability so I have been working by myself for the past 3 weeks. So now I am officially working by myself because they do not plan on hiring someone to take her spot and I am pretty sure she doesn't plan on coming back because she was already talking about leaving and retiring anyway. Honestly, I don't see why they don't get rid of me and eliminate my position all together because I know at other facilities they have techs who do my job so I really don't think I am needed. One good thing is that they are letting me work 40 hours now instead of the 36 I have been working. Which was one of the reasons I was looking for another job anyway. Right now, I don't think I am too much in a rush to leave but I will still be applying for jobs if I find something that I want to apply to. If I do get another job, I don't know what they will do with my position but I guess they will worry about that when the time comes. I am also trying to see if I can get me a part time job somewhere. I really want to start saving up to get a house or a condo so hopefully I will be able to find something. I just need something that I can do on the weekends and a couple of days during the week. So far I haven't had much luck finding anything but I am going to keep on looking. Between full time and part time I might be searching for awhile. It seems like jobs are just like men, it is hard to find a good one.

My pathetic life...

I feel like my life is so pathetic. After yesterday's loneliness fiasco, it just proved to me how lonely I really am. It really makes me cry and depressed how I can say I don't have a life. I have no one in my life that I can really talk to or go out with or spend time with. It just really sucks. I wish I knew how I could change my life. I have no clue of what to even do. I have tried to date but it is hard to date with kids and having to find someone to keep them and plus the men that I have met have so far proven to be no good. Why is it so hard to find a decent guy? So far the guys I have met are commitment phobes who are scared to start a relationship or they are very flakey and don't answer your texts when you send them one. If it is one thing I hate is when I am trying to text someone and they don't text you back in a reasonable amount of time. If hours pass and I haven't heard from you, I know you are ignoring my texts because I am sure you keep your phone close and you got the message. I just pray that a decent guy will finally come around one day. I just want someone I can get to know, spend time with and go out on dates every once and awhile. I'm so over being alone. I want it to be over soon. All I can do is pray that someone will come around because I feel like I have tried to change my situation on my own but I always end up meeting the wrong guys for some reason. You wouldn't think it would be this hard to find a decent man but it has been 5 long years. I am hoping that by this time next year someone will come in my life and not make it 6 years alone. Where are all the genuine men who are looking for love and want something real with someone? I am in my 30s now and I just want to find a man that I can marry and have a couple more kids with before I get even older. I try to stay hopeful but it is hard when the wrong men keep coming around. When will the right man come along? I hope it will be sooner rather than later since I have already been waiting 5 long years. This waiting is killing me I just want to be happy. I just want someone who I can miss, and think about all the time, and call my own. Is it wrong to want to be happy? I just don't want to be sitting around looking pathetic forever. I wish I knew of other people in my shoes so I know I am not the only person feeling like a loser all the time.

Boring life...

My life totally sucks!!! I actually had a rare kid free day today and had no one to spend it with. I really need some friends or a boyfriend. I have been by myself since 2:30 and it is now 8 and I have not left the house. Why is my life this way? When am I ever going to get a life and have someone to spend it with when I actually have the free time? It really makes me cry because I want to be able to go out and do things every now and again when I get the chance and I finally got the chance and no one to do anything with so I'm stuck in the house looking crazy. Can I please get a man in my life so I will have someone to go out with? The lonely life really sucks and it is not fun at all. I am so over being single. I just want a decent man to come into my life who is all about me and wants to spend all of his free time with me. Five long years of singleness is starting to hit me hard. I do pretty good most days but when days like this come around it makes you realize how lonely you really are and how nice it would be to have someone there for you when you need them. I hope someone will come along soon. I am not getting any younger and I just want someone who I can share my life with. Is that so wrong?