Waiting, waiting, and more waiting.............

Well first I'll start out with what happened between me and my friend who I mention on here a lot as the one who broke my heart. Well to recap my last post, I said that he was talking about not wanting to be my friend anymore because he has a girfriend and I decided that I wanted to talk to him face to face and went up to his job. So I sat out in front of his job and waited and planned on how I was going to approach him but in the end it turned out to be a funny thing because when I finally got to go up to him while he was in his car waiting on someone he got really scared like why was I there. But the whole thing turned out pretty cool even though I didn't talk to him about what I wanted. Anyway, on Sunday we got to talk and he explained to me why he was talking about us not being friends anymore. But now we have agreed to officially be friends and I'm glad we had a chance to talk and now maybe things will stop being awkward between us because after everything happened I definately started feeling awkward and uncomfortable around him which sucked because he was the only person I felt the most comfortable around. We're also probably going to hang out this weekend so we'll see if that happens or not since you never know with this dude. But happy that we are friends since he is one of the closest friends I have and it would have sucked major to lose him in my life no matter what happens between us. Because no matter how dirty somebody treats me and hurts me eventually I'll end up forgiving them but not forgetting that's just the way GOD made me I guess. Sometimes I kinda hate that about myself always being the forgiver.

In other news, still no word on my dream job yet and its been about a week I been waiting for that phone call. I'm just praying I get the call tomorrow so I can finally get put out of this misery. I just really want to know what my fate is going to be. Am I going to be hired or am I not? I just want to know if everything is going to turn out good or are things going to stay bad. I'm just ready to know. I have so many plans and goals and I can't even think about any of them until I find out about this job. This waiting totally sucks but hopefully I will finally get the news tomorrow which it will officially be a week later since I been expecting the news. I just hope the wait is worth it. I also received a call from this staffing place today about a job. It scared the crap out of me I was seriously freaking out because I didn't know what I was going to do. I want my dream job and if I got hired on at this other job I would have felt bad to end up quitting once the job I'm waiting on finally came through. This job is suppose to start on Wednesday too. But I was so not wanting that job because the lady told me it was first shift and I am not in to having a first shift job anymore since eventually I want to go back to school, It was only suppose to be a 6 week assignment and I definately would have hated that because I would have got use to being there and if I didn't get hired on full time I would be right back where I am now, broke and looking for a job not knowing how long it would take. So I made the effort to go to the interview anyway since I thought this would be my plan B job if my dream job didn't come through. This job is way in another town and county and it took over 30 minutes to get there. I had the darndest time trying to find the place and I tried and tried and I couldn't call anyone since I don't have a cell phone at the moment but after awhile I just gave up and came back home. Once I got home I realized that it must have been part of GOD'S plan for me to not get this job. I see it as a sign because before I even left I had reservations and I was so upset I didn't want to go and I just wanted my dream job. I'm just praying that I get the job I been waiting on for over a week and that I won't have to stress out or be frustrated about getting a job anymore.

Seriously frustrated.........

Well it is officially Saturday morning and I still haven't a clue if I'm going to get this job or not. You don't know how pissed I was and I started crying because I really want this job and the frustration from waiting to hear really got to me. You just don't know how much I want and need this job and like I keep saying, I am praying my heart out that everything works out. So now I have to wait until the weekend is over before I'm able to find anything out. I really need to make some money so I can take care of myself. After what happened earlier it is evident. What happened earlier was, my mother gave me 20 bucks and I had to split it between putting gas in my car and buying food. Do you know how hard it is to try to buy food with only 10 bucks? It is very hard. I tried to go over in my head what I could get without going over budget but obviously that didn't work out. I went over just a little and all I got was some cereal and hot dogs. I'm just praying that everything works out and I get this job. I just hope all the stress, frustration, crying, and waiting is worth it. Also I'm still waiting on the money for when I worked last Saturday at that back breaking warehouse. I thought I was going to get it yesterday but I didn't and that added to the frustration because I really needed that money to buy food. If I had the money I wouldn't have had to worry about splitting that 20 in half. I have no idea if I'm going to get that money or even when. Plus the lady called me twice yesterday, which I'm assuming was to have me come in and work yesterday night but of course I avoided the phone calls because I am totally not trying to go back to that place.

In other news, I think the guy who I mention in my other posts, I think him and I are officially not going to be friends anymore. I was texting him earlier asking him if we were still friends because he doesn't act very friendly towards me anymore since he got back with his ex. I know after how much this dude has hurt me and after all the lies I shouldn't even want to be his friend but I feel like after all this time he had became one of my closest friends and it would hurt a little if we stopped being friends all together just because he has a girlfriend. I honestly don't get why him having a girlfriend should affect us being friends. But if we do stop talking then I guess it was meant to happen. I won't fight it because I am still pretty pissed off at him anyway for what he had recently did to me which was use my feelings against me and lie to me to hurt me even more than he already had. I honestly figured that even if he had a girlfriend we would still be friends but I can honestly see the changes between us everyday. Like he never calls, at least just to say hi and to see how I'm doing, we stopped hanging out and everytime he said we would he would come up with some lame excuse as to why we can't and I honestly stopped asking him when we could all together because there was no point he would always say I don't know or he's studying or some other excuse, and I was one of his top friends on myspace and the other day I noticed that he took me off. So like I said I was texting to find out if we are still friends and he said yes but I think he's saying that just because he has a girlfriend we are not allowed to hang out or even talk to each other anymore which actually I'm getting use to not texting or calling him anymore since tonight was the first time all week that I had tried to talk to him. Anyway, I'm trying to understand where we stand with each other and I had sent him 4 different texts and called him twice but he still hasn't answered so I'm assuming he's at work which I came up with the bright idea to go up to his job and sit and wait for him to get off so when I see him walking to his car, I can surprise him and try and talk to him face to face, which should be alot easier than trying to talk to him through text or call which he could ignore. So we'll see what happens. If we stop being friends this will be the third time I feel I have lost him and all because of his girlfriend which I guess I can't say that I lost him since I don't think I ever really had him.

I'm still waiting............

So its Thursday night and I'm still waiting on the news about the job. It is torture!! I didn't wake up early today I slept in but had the phone by me just in case. Still no news though. I called up there at 3:30pm and tried to see if I could find anything out. I thought I was going to find something out since the guy had put me on hold. The whole time I was on hold I just sat there and prayed for some good news but when he got back on the phone he still didn't have any news for me. So I'm still waiting and hoping that I get the news tomorrow. I would hate it if I don't hear anything and I would have to end up waiting for the weekend to be over to find out something. I can't take this wait but I don't have much of a choice but to have to wait. But like I said, I'm just praying for the good news tomorrow so I can stop stressing out over it and waiting by the phone everyday. I just want to officially be able to say I have a job and I won't have to worry about having to sit on the computer everyday and job hunt and wait for someone to call. I am sooo over having to deal with that. But until I find out I am still praying my heart out and I'm sooo hoping for the good news tomorrow.

Anyway, earlier at 7:30pm the lady from the last job I was working had the nerve to call. I'm thinking why is she calling me now at 7:30 at night when she had all day to call. So of course I didn't answer the phone because I don't want to go back to that job anyway. It just wasn't for me. I don't think I can deal with having that job that is 8 hours but feels like its 10 and having to deal with an aching back because I'm stuck standing in one place the whole shift. I'm just waiting on the good news from my dream job and I will wipe that other job from my memory. I just really hope and pray that everything works out for me. It just seems scary to me to think of wanting something good to go right in my life because I think something bad is going to happen instead like I'm not ever suppose to be happy. But I want to be happy and getting this job will make me so happy. I just want everything to work out so sick of everything turning out bad I think I deserve something good to go my way for once. One can only hope and pray for the best.

Another day waiting........

So Wednesday is over and I still don't have any good news to share about the job yet. But not saying that I don't have any good news to share. I finally got my car back yesterday morning so its fixed and ready for me drive all I need to do is put some gas in it and I'm set. I found out that I have lost almost 10lbs. I am excited about that since I'm sooo trying to lose weight especially in my midsection so I'm going to keep it up starting with going on walks more often. I also found my battery charger for my camera so I had a lot of good luck yesterday. I'm just praying that I have another day of good luck today and find out about the job. I am just ready to stop worrying and waiting by the phone for them to call. So hopefully I will get the good news today so I can stop waiting by the phone. I have been waiting by the phone for the past 2 days and its getting a little frustrating having to keep waiting and jumping everytime the phone rings and feeling disappointed when its not the call I been waiting for. But you know how the saying goes "Good things come to those who wait" and I am waiting and being as patient as possible. I'm still praying though and I'm so anxious to get that phone call. I'm just ready to start working and to get my life together.

Update on my last post.......

After I just finished writing my last post, I tried again to call up to find out the status of the job and the guy answered the phone. He let me know that he hadn't heard anything yet and he should be finding out pretty soon so I'm assuming that I should hear something by tomorrow. So like I said, until I hear something I will be praying my little heart out. I am just ready to finally get some well deserved good news in my life. I know I keep saying this over and over but it has been nothing but bad upon bad things happening to me all year and I am ready for the bad to be over and the good to start. Also, I haven't been up to that other job I was working these last couple of days. I was sitting here waiting on the lady to call me and let me know that I could come and she has not called. I don't know if I was suppose to go up there on my own but I could have sworn she told us she would call us. So now I'm thinking they probably thought I quit but then I'm thinking she would have called to see if I was coming back or not so I don't know. But I do know its too much hassle working that job and it seems disorganized so I'm better off not even working there even though I didn't care much about working there in the first place so it doesn't matter to me. Still praying until I get the good news.........

No news.......

Well its Tuesday and its 3:00pm and I still haven't heard anything about the job. I have been waiting by the phone since 8:00 this morning and I am starting to lose hope though I'm sad to say. But I'm still not giving up. I tried to call myself a few minutes ago but no answer. I'll probably try again in a little bit. I wasn't gonna give up hope for the day until 4:00 since I'm thinking after 4 nobody is gonna be calling about a job so I have exactly an hour left. If I don't hear anything then I will just have to wait until tomorrow and I am praying that they call me and give me the good news. I have been praying so badly for days and I feel that I'm confident to know that things will work out. I just have faith that the LORD will not let me down and that all the hardships I have dealt with this whole year will officially be over soon. I have faith that HE will get me through this hard time and everything will be alright. I keep thinking just in case there is a chance I don't get hired I should start finding other jobs to apply to just to be on the safe side. But like I said, I know the LORD will not let me down and he will work everything out in my favor. I just would be soooooo crushed if I don't get this job. I would seriously hate to add this to the list of disappointments that I have been dealing with all year. So still praying until I find out.

1 day to go......

Well I have officially 1 day to go until I find out if I get this job that I have been praying my heart out for. I will be so happy when today is over. Having to wait is straight torture and I'm glad the wait is almost over. I have been doing nothing but praying and keeping the faith. As well as staying positive and just saying that I know I am going to get this job. I'm positive that I'm going to get this job. I should be getting my car fixed hopefully today so when they do call me and tell me I got the job, I will be able to go to work without any problems and having to worry about needing someone to take me and pick me up since I don't have many options on who can do that anyway. My prayer will continue until the day I found out since you can never be too sure what will happen. I just know I'm going to get this job. I feel so determined to change my life around and make things better than it has been this whole year. I have gone through so many struggles and hardships all year and the past couple of months and this job will definately show me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and the struggles won't last forever. I'm so anxious waiting on this phone call but thankfully the weekend is over and all I have to do is wait until tomorrow. I am sooo ready. I will write back tomorrow after I find out what the verdict is. Will I get the job or won't I? You know I'm praying I will. Only GOD knows what is going to happen to me and my future and I really pray that the hard times are over and that everything is starting to get better. Believe me I can not take anymore bad and no more bad news and bad things happening to me. I really could use some good news in my life right now. So until then we will see what happens..........