Is it wrong cuz I just can't help myself.....

I wonder if its wrong for me to have a crush on a 14 year old? LOL!!!! I'm 22 almost 23 and I have a crush on Daniel "Diggy" Simmons. He has to be the cutest thing out there. He has great fashion sense and it seems like he has a good head on his shoulders for somebody his age. I know he's only 14 almost 15 but I just can't help myself. He has the cutest smile and now that his braces are off. OMG!!!!!! Gorgeous doesn't give enough credit to his smile. I know I'm his sister Angela's age but man oh man he is so cute. I wonder if that would make me a couger for liking someone 9 years younger than me. I think it would but its just a crush. He is too much!!!

Wowzer!!!!......

Wow! I just realized I haven't posted anything in almost 3 months!!! That's crazy but let me tell you what's been going on. I have a job. Yes FINALLY!!! Its going great and I don't see myself leaving this job for awhile and I'm officially back in school. So big things are going on with me and I'm so thankful to be in this place in my life. This time last year I was no where. No school, no job, no money, didn't know how I was going to make it to the next day or week. Glad all my struggling is finally over. So I'm going to my community college for Health Information Technology and I can say so far, so good. I'm taking four classes right now and one of them I'm almost through with since it is only an 8 week class I have two more weeks to go then I'll be down to just 3 classes and I'll have my first class completed on my long journey to my degree. I'm excited though. Just trying to make it and stay focus since the last time I was in school I had a hard time staying focused and I'm not trying to repeat the same mistakes I made back then. The job I have is at a hospital and I'm still amazed that I have it, cause let's face it, getting a job at a hospital is like trying to win the lottery its not easy. I always use to say that but I was blessed to get this job. It was just what I needed and its a great job. I walk around alot so I know I get my exercise in everyday and when I have down time I get to sit in a room where I work at and not have to worry about being bothered too much. There's a computer in here that I have all to myself so I don't have to worry about sharing it with anybody and I usually sit and study or do my school work when I have a chance so its great. Another cool thing is I just bought me a laptop finally. I have been wanting to get one forever and I was finally able to get one thanks to my tuition money I got back. I love it its my favorite color red but I still don't have the internet on it but I'm working on it. I haven't really done anything with it because its basically useless without the internet lol. Plus I'm trying to start saving up money because in a couple of months I will finally be getting to move out on my own and I can't wait. I have been trying to get my own place for over 2 years but was never able to because either I had a low paying part time job or I couldn't get a full time job. Now everything is falling into place and I'm so excited. For a long time I have been waiting for my life to start getting better and for the struggles to be over and they are. Now if only my love life wasn't so hard to figure out but that's another story.....

Feeling Good........

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!!

Yeah I know I'm late with that now that its the day after but oh well. Its Black Friday!!!! One of the craziest shopping days of the year the other being the day after Christmas. I might actually try to hit a store today. Even though I'm not into the whole waiting in long lines and mega crowds. But Target has my favorite show Psych season 3 on sale for $12.99 and I'm so going to try and get it if its not sold out by the time I get up there. I already have seasons 1 and 2 so all I need is season 3 and still have to wait for season 4 to come out which won't be out until probably the end of next year. I'm trying to get me a laptop too. So lucky for me I'm working(more on that later) so I'm just trying to save up enough for one and the one I want is $400. So just a little more saving to go and hopefully I will have it by the end of this year.

I haven't blogged in awhile so the last post I wrote talked about me going to a staffing agency and getting hired at the job I had previous interviewed for. Well after the orientation I had to wait almost 2 weeks before I officially started working. So when I did I started out having to de-kit which was taking cell phones out of their box and sorting the pieces that came with it. It was an okay thing but standing on your feet for 8 hours is no fun especially when I was hired to do computer returns. Another thing that sucked was when I had to take the stuff out the box you have to use box cutters and scissors. Believe me when I say I have cut myself plenty of times it is not fun at all. Well so far I have been working there officially a month and half this week but either after next week or the week after I won't be working there anymore. Another story: 3 weeks ago I got a phone call about a job at a hospital. I'm lucky I made it to the phone to answer it at first I thought it was nobody but I answered it before it was too late. The guy called me on a Monday for an interview on Thursday. Believe me I was soooo anxious for that day. I had to be up and there early it was at 8:00am. Anyway after the interview came the hard, stressful wait to hear if I got the job but luckily I had another job so if that one didn't come through I always had the one I'm at now. So I basically waited 2 weeks before I heard anything then last Friday I got sick of waiting and called the guy myself to see what the verdict was and he told me then that I GOT THE JOB!!!! I'm still waiting to hear when I'm going to start so hopefully I'll find out by the end of next week. I'm so ready to start my new job but kinda dislike having to leave the job I'm at now. I've been there over a month and I'm use to being there and use to the people but I have to go to the job with the opportunity, the benefits, and no fear of being layed off. I can honestly say that is the best news I have gotten all year. Now I have my job at a hospital which it is a permanent one so no more jobs through temp. agencies. I'll hopefully be able to move into my own place by next August if everything goes good and working at a hospital they will help me pay for school since I'm going for a health related field and I'm planning to go back next Fall so everything is going great for me. Its been a long time since I can say that I'm happy with life and its a great feeling.

On a side note, the guy I always mention on here that I like who got back with his ex girlfriend FINALLY broke up with her. That's the second best news I have heard. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later. I'm just glad he's done with her for good and I'm hoping he will be able to move on from her. She was no good for him and I honestly don't know why he wasted time with her in the first place. So glad that whole situation is over so I should be able to end this year happy I hope. We'll see what happens in the coming weeks. Thanksgiving: over, next stop: Christmas.

Suckiness and alrightness.........

Well on Tuesday I finally found out the verdict about the job I had been praying about and the guy told me that I didn't get the job. I was so devastated. I just could not believe why I didn't get the job and I was so sure that the job was going to come to me and I wouldn't have to worry anymore but it didn't and that really sucked a lot. So the search for a job continued and between Tuesday and Wednesday I applied to 20 jobs. So I was thinking I should hear from somebody. I also registered with this staffing company that works with the job that I wanted and after that a lady called me and set me up an appointment to come in at 3:30pm today. So I went in and made it at 3:30 filled out some paperwork and had to sit and wait. I don't think I got to see anybody until 4:15!! I had an appointment at 3:30 and it took until 4:15 for somebody to see me?! Not cool!! So I talked to a recruiter and after that had to fill out alot of paperwork. It was weird because the place closed at 5:00pm so I was there after hours and the majority of the time I was sitting waiting. I got done with the paperwork, took a drug test and got to take a typing test which I passed with flying colors. So once I finished that I finally got to leave and by then it was 5:30. So I was there for 2 hours when I'm thinking I should have only been there at least an hour. But I think I can say I have a job now and the cool thing is, is that its at the place where I wanted to work at so it all works out. Now I feel like I have two other jobs in mind that I want. First, one where I would be working in the morning from 6-10am and the other is one that I would want to do on the weekend so we will see how that works out. So I have orientation next Tuesday from 9am-12pm and hopefully I will start working after that since there might be a chance where we show up to orientation but won't get to start working right away so I hope I get to start right away and not have to wait for them to call and tell me when I can come in. So now I don't have to worry about looking for a job anymore which is good to me and all I have to do is try to work on the other two jobs I have in mind that I want to work at and see if I can get hired at those jobs. I think it would be so crazy to have three jobs but I think it will all work out since one of them is seasonal so it will be over by the end of this year and the other one I only want to work on the weekends and I wouldn't have to go every weekend so I think it will all work out but we will see what happens and see if I can get hired at one of them if not both.

Waiting, waiting, and more waiting.............

Well first I'll start out with what happened between me and my friend who I mention on here a lot as the one who broke my heart. Well to recap my last post, I said that he was talking about not wanting to be my friend anymore because he has a girfriend and I decided that I wanted to talk to him face to face and went up to his job. So I sat out in front of his job and waited and planned on how I was going to approach him but in the end it turned out to be a funny thing because when I finally got to go up to him while he was in his car waiting on someone he got really scared like why was I there. But the whole thing turned out pretty cool even though I didn't talk to him about what I wanted. Anyway, on Sunday we got to talk and he explained to me why he was talking about us not being friends anymore. But now we have agreed to officially be friends and I'm glad we had a chance to talk and now maybe things will stop being awkward between us because after everything happened I definately started feeling awkward and uncomfortable around him which sucked because he was the only person I felt the most comfortable around. We're also probably going to hang out this weekend so we'll see if that happens or not since you never know with this dude. But happy that we are friends since he is one of the closest friends I have and it would have sucked major to lose him in my life no matter what happens between us. Because no matter how dirty somebody treats me and hurts me eventually I'll end up forgiving them but not forgetting that's just the way GOD made me I guess. Sometimes I kinda hate that about myself always being the forgiver.

In other news, still no word on my dream job yet and its been about a week I been waiting for that phone call. I'm just praying I get the call tomorrow so I can finally get put out of this misery. I just really want to know what my fate is going to be. Am I going to be hired or am I not? I just want to know if everything is going to turn out good or are things going to stay bad. I'm just ready to know. I have so many plans and goals and I can't even think about any of them until I find out about this job. This waiting totally sucks but hopefully I will finally get the news tomorrow which it will officially be a week later since I been expecting the news. I just hope the wait is worth it. I also received a call from this staffing place today about a job. It scared the crap out of me I was seriously freaking out because I didn't know what I was going to do. I want my dream job and if I got hired on at this other job I would have felt bad to end up quitting once the job I'm waiting on finally came through. This job is suppose to start on Wednesday too. But I was so not wanting that job because the lady told me it was first shift and I am not in to having a first shift job anymore since eventually I want to go back to school, It was only suppose to be a 6 week assignment and I definately would have hated that because I would have got use to being there and if I didn't get hired on full time I would be right back where I am now, broke and looking for a job not knowing how long it would take. So I made the effort to go to the interview anyway since I thought this would be my plan B job if my dream job didn't come through. This job is way in another town and county and it took over 30 minutes to get there. I had the darndest time trying to find the place and I tried and tried and I couldn't call anyone since I don't have a cell phone at the moment but after awhile I just gave up and came back home. Once I got home I realized that it must have been part of GOD'S plan for me to not get this job. I see it as a sign because before I even left I had reservations and I was so upset I didn't want to go and I just wanted my dream job. I'm just praying that I get the job I been waiting on for over a week and that I won't have to stress out or be frustrated about getting a job anymore.

Seriously frustrated.........

Well it is officially Saturday morning and I still haven't a clue if I'm going to get this job or not. You don't know how pissed I was and I started crying because I really want this job and the frustration from waiting to hear really got to me. You just don't know how much I want and need this job and like I keep saying, I am praying my heart out that everything works out. So now I have to wait until the weekend is over before I'm able to find anything out. I really need to make some money so I can take care of myself. After what happened earlier it is evident. What happened earlier was, my mother gave me 20 bucks and I had to split it between putting gas in my car and buying food. Do you know how hard it is to try to buy food with only 10 bucks? It is very hard. I tried to go over in my head what I could get without going over budget but obviously that didn't work out. I went over just a little and all I got was some cereal and hot dogs. I'm just praying that everything works out and I get this job. I just hope all the stress, frustration, crying, and waiting is worth it. Also I'm still waiting on the money for when I worked last Saturday at that back breaking warehouse. I thought I was going to get it yesterday but I didn't and that added to the frustration because I really needed that money to buy food. If I had the money I wouldn't have had to worry about splitting that 20 in half. I have no idea if I'm going to get that money or even when. Plus the lady called me twice yesterday, which I'm assuming was to have me come in and work yesterday night but of course I avoided the phone calls because I am totally not trying to go back to that place.

In other news, I think the guy who I mention in my other posts, I think him and I are officially not going to be friends anymore. I was texting him earlier asking him if we were still friends because he doesn't act very friendly towards me anymore since he got back with his ex. I know after how much this dude has hurt me and after all the lies I shouldn't even want to be his friend but I feel like after all this time he had became one of my closest friends and it would hurt a little if we stopped being friends all together just because he has a girlfriend. I honestly don't get why him having a girlfriend should affect us being friends. But if we do stop talking then I guess it was meant to happen. I won't fight it because I am still pretty pissed off at him anyway for what he had recently did to me which was use my feelings against me and lie to me to hurt me even more than he already had. I honestly figured that even if he had a girlfriend we would still be friends but I can honestly see the changes between us everyday. Like he never calls, at least just to say hi and to see how I'm doing, we stopped hanging out and everytime he said we would he would come up with some lame excuse as to why we can't and I honestly stopped asking him when we could all together because there was no point he would always say I don't know or he's studying or some other excuse, and I was one of his top friends on myspace and the other day I noticed that he took me off. So like I said I was texting to find out if we are still friends and he said yes but I think he's saying that just because he has a girlfriend we are not allowed to hang out or even talk to each other anymore which actually I'm getting use to not texting or calling him anymore since tonight was the first time all week that I had tried to talk to him. Anyway, I'm trying to understand where we stand with each other and I had sent him 4 different texts and called him twice but he still hasn't answered so I'm assuming he's at work which I came up with the bright idea to go up to his job and sit and wait for him to get off so when I see him walking to his car, I can surprise him and try and talk to him face to face, which should be alot easier than trying to talk to him through text or call which he could ignore. So we'll see what happens. If we stop being friends this will be the third time I feel I have lost him and all because of his girlfriend which I guess I can't say that I lost him since I don't think I ever really had him.

I'm still waiting............

So its Thursday night and I'm still waiting on the news about the job. It is torture!! I didn't wake up early today I slept in but had the phone by me just in case. Still no news though. I called up there at 3:30pm and tried to see if I could find anything out. I thought I was going to find something out since the guy had put me on hold. The whole time I was on hold I just sat there and prayed for some good news but when he got back on the phone he still didn't have any news for me. So I'm still waiting and hoping that I get the news tomorrow. I would hate it if I don't hear anything and I would have to end up waiting for the weekend to be over to find out something. I can't take this wait but I don't have much of a choice but to have to wait. But like I said, I'm just praying for the good news tomorrow so I can stop stressing out over it and waiting by the phone everyday. I just want to officially be able to say I have a job and I won't have to worry about having to sit on the computer everyday and job hunt and wait for someone to call. I am sooo over having to deal with that. But until I find out I am still praying my heart out and I'm sooo hoping for the good news tomorrow.

Anyway, earlier at 7:30pm the lady from the last job I was working had the nerve to call. I'm thinking why is she calling me now at 7:30 at night when she had all day to call. So of course I didn't answer the phone because I don't want to go back to that job anyway. It just wasn't for me. I don't think I can deal with having that job that is 8 hours but feels like its 10 and having to deal with an aching back because I'm stuck standing in one place the whole shift. I'm just waiting on the good news from my dream job and I will wipe that other job from my memory. I just really hope and pray that everything works out for me. It just seems scary to me to think of wanting something good to go right in my life because I think something bad is going to happen instead like I'm not ever suppose to be happy. But I want to be happy and getting this job will make me so happy. I just want everything to work out so sick of everything turning out bad I think I deserve something good to go my way for once. One can only hope and pray for the best.