New month approaching.......

February is almost over. One more day and it will be March. My birthday month and my daughter's. I am still trying to figure out what to do for her birthday. It's tough trying to figure out what to do for a two year old. I'm thinking something simple. I don't think I should worry about having parties until she's a little older but we'll see.

Yesterday, I finally paid off my old apartment! Seems like it took forever to do but I got it done and even had a little discount. Since I wanted to pay the whole thing I got 15 percent off so instead of paying $1520, I only had to pay $1292. It wasn't much off but it was something and now it's all paid off and hopefully I will be able to get an apartment when I'm ready. I have already tried 2 times to get a place and got rejected and I am sure it was because of the money I still owed to that apartment. It's a great weight lifted off my shoulders. Thankful for my tax money because that's what helped to get it paid now I just have to pay some more stuff off that's on my credit report and get my score up then I will be able to get what I want. It looks like me and my sister will be moving in together. I don't know how I feel about that because it would be nice to have my own space. What if I wanted my boyfriend to come over or have my friends over. I would feel awkward and I should be able to feel comfortable in my own place. The same with her friends I don't want to feel awkward if she has some come over. I hope I can get the 3 bedroom that I applied for. I have been on the waiting list for either a 2 or 3 bedroom apartment at a complex for over 7 months. It sucks just waiting. I want to get something but can't seem to get them to call me. I would only have to pay $524 for a new 3 bedroom apartment at this place. I wish they would just call me already. So sick of waiting but until I actually get a place, I don't have a choice. I hope they will call but I wouldn't hold my breath.

Online dating again?......

Well it looks like I'm back to the online dating again. The first two guys didn't work out but maybe the third time is the charm. I met another guy and so far it looks like things are working out. We talk everyday and he seems to be really interested in me. He is 34 years old so definitely older than me which I like. It seems like he knows what he wants in life. He said he's been married before and he has 2 kids, a 10 year old boy and a 2 almost 3 year old girl. Of course there has to be a problem. So far we haven't met each other yet face to face because he lives in Chicago. He says he comes here often because he takes care of his grandparents and they live down here. I do really like him and who knows he might be good for me. If I remember correctly he told me that he is a field supervisor for a real estate developer. I don't know how a long distance relationship is going to work but we'll see. I wouldn't mind going up there to see him one day but I feel like I would need to get use to him first before I start making trips. At least I know he is interested in me he has told me that he wants us to be together but of course I am hesitant because we pretty much have just met and have only talked and texted on the phone. I am interested in him more than the first guy I started talking to online because he was in a rush to start a relationship with me when we first met and I just can't see myself jumping into a relationship with someone I barely know. I would like to at least spend some time together, get to know each other before we decide to be together. It is nice to have a guy who seems to be interested in me. I guess we'll see how things play out. Hopefully everything works out. Right now, I am just waiting for the day that we get to see each other face to face to see if we have a connection once we're together. I am anxious and nervous about when that time will come but I am looking forward to it.

Ready to call it quits.....

I am so over my job. I want to quit so bad its not funny. I feel like I'm getting taking advantage of. It never fails, the past 4 weekends I have had to work the person I am suppose to work with always calls in. It is getting old and I am sick of having to do a two person job by myself all the time. It pisses me off that I make the lowest pay in the department but still end up having to do everything by myself all the time. I so wanted to walk out of that place so bad today and I know I will be stuck alone again tomorrow. I am ready to start job hunting but I have to fix my resume up first. There are places that I find that I want to apply to but until I get my resume fixed I can't do anything. I just know I have to get out of that pace one way or another. It always reminds me of why I am in school and what I want to do with my life. I know I don't want to have to deal with a job like this for the rest my life. I hope that before this year is over I will have found something else. I can not take another year at this place.

School.....

Well I am officially back in school and I am glad to be back. I am just hoping that I can make it through this semester. So far, we are in week 4 and I feel like I am having a hard time trying to keep up. I am taking 4 classes this semester and it is not easy. I feel like I don't have enough time to keep up with assignments. I only have so much time to do them. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have 2 classes back to back after I get off of work and then I have to pick up my daughter. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I have a little time to get some work done after I get off of work and before I pick up my daughter. It just never seems like its enough hours in the day. I'm trying to be positive and to believe I can get through. I have to make it through. I have no other choice. I don't want to ruin my chances of graduating with this school. I am determined to make something of myself and not have to keep working at jobs where I work my butt off and have nothing to show for it. I want to one day be able to buy me a nice house and to provide for my daughter and any other future children I will have. I am trying my best to stay motivated and it's not easy but I try to think everyday about why I am in school and why it is important for me to make it through and graduate. I want to get there so much. I believe I can make it. I just have to.....

It's February!......

I'm am glad it is February. Hopefully that means that by the end of this month I will be looking forward to moving into my own place. I have been staying with my grandmother for 6 months by the end of this month and I am ready to have a place to call my own. Luckily, it is tax time so I should be getting a little money back from that and I will try to pay off some of my debts with it as well as try to move. Today, I am going to go to my top 3 places that I am looking to move to and now that I officially am about to start receiving child support, I will be able to afford a decent place. The places that I am going to look at are nice sized, 2 bedroom, 2 bath places and I think they all have washers and dryers included with them. I just so hope I can get my own place in the next couple of weeks. I will be glad when I can do what I want when I want to. Right now, I just need to get me a place and hopefully it will be one of my top 3 choices that I can get into.

Snowed in......

I am in the house snowed in. Glad I didn't have to go to work today. I was already taking today off because I was suppose to go to court for child support. Tomorrow is my regular day off so I get two days off and out of the weather. Hopefully things will be better Wednesday. The weather is so bad the governor is telling everyone not to drive and to stay in the house. They are actually writing tickets to people who do because they are saying it is illegal to drive in this weather. The temperature is the lowest it has been in 20 years in super negative degrees. It's so crazy. I will be happy when everything is back to normal. The snow is nice to look at but horrible to deal with. I will be happy when winter is officially over. I am in kind of a bad mood thanks to my daughter's father. He has to be the dumbest most disrespectful person ever. He texts me to have my daughter tango him so I do it. At first, he talks to her but then has the nerve to put his girlfriend on to talk to my daughter. I didn't let him talk to her so he could put his girlfriend on. That is rude and disrespectful. It's bad enough that I have to deal with him bringing her around when he picks or drops off my daughter but that was crossing the line. Then he wonders why I don't like talking to him and why I don't answer the phone when he calls. He doesn't care about anybody else's feelings never stops to think about how his actions affect another person. I really don't like to wish bad things on people but I hope he gets everything that's coming to him after all the crap he had put me through. I'm still waiting on the day it all happens to him. He goes about everything the wrong way and doesn't care. On another note, I think the guy that I had a crush on doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. As I write this its making me tear up. I haven't really talked to him in over 2 weeks. I try to text him but he never texts me back. It's not like we have done anything for me to feel so strongly that it makes me want to cry but I really liked him a lot. I don't see myself finding another guy like him. He seemed to be one of a kind and perfect. Looks like I was wrong. As much as I wish I had a love in my life sometimes I feel like I am better off alone. No way to be hurt except for the feeling of loneliness.

Almost over....

Well the year is almost over. Thank you GOD. Today is the last day of December and the end of 2013. In a couple hours, it will be 2014 and I am glad that this year is finally over. It's been a horrible year for me. It started out good but the last half of it has been hell. I am just ready to start fresh and new and hopefully this year will be better than the last. I went through so much crap but I made it through everything I have been through between my ex walking out on us and having to deal with him throwing his girlfriend in my face and having to be stuck staying with my grandmother instead of having my own place and job hunting this entire year with no luck. 2014 I hope all my bad luck changes. I start school in less than 2 weeks and I am super excited about that. The only thing is I am still waiting to get the rest of my scholarship so it can pay the rest of my tuition off and so I can buy my books. Hopefully it will all be taking care of by the end of next week because after that it will be time for school to start. Also, I hope to get myself an apartment soon. My goal is to be in my own place by the beginning of February so we will see what happens in January and see if I will be able to get a decent place in the next month. I plan on continuing to job hunt and I am hoping before next Christmas that I will have a better job than what I have now. My goal is to get a job that is Monday-Friday, no weekends or holidays, decent hours, something like 7-3 or 8-4, and definitely better pay. I also hope that I will find me someone to love, someone to spend my life with. I am just looking for all my bad luck from this year to change in the new year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! and hopefully it will be a better year for me.