DNA stressing....

I never thought that I would be confused about who my child's father is. I feel like one of them girls off of Maury except the messing around with numerous guys. My child's dad is either my ex or this guy I messed with one time who lives in another city in another state. I bought a DNA test from the store and I'm going to have my ex take it. I will be happy when the wondering is over. I literally can't even look at my daughter and say she looks like him or him. My daughter is almost one years old so it will be nice to finally know which one is the dad. I'm honestly hoping she belongs to my ex only because it would suck if she belong to the other guy when I barely know him. I have known him for almost two years and as long as I have known him we have only really talked through text. We have never been on a date or spent any significant amount of time with each other so it would suck to have a kid by a guy you barely know. At least with my ex he'll be here for her and it would be nice to know that both of my kids come from the same parents. According to the Babycenter calendar app I have on my phone, its telling me that my ex is the one. I'm not sure how ovulation works but I thought women ovulated 2 weeks after the first day of their period. I know on the day after my 2 weeks on the calendar it said that my period started 12-16 days ago and I should be ovulating now or soon and on the calendar it said on my birthday that I should know by then that I was pregnant and I found out two days before so if I have to guess I would say she's my ex's but I still have a what if in my head like there could be a 50-50 chance it could go either way. I pray things turn out the way I want it to I will be disappointed if it doesn't but I'll be happy to finally know the verdict.

Things didn't go as planned...

Its been a month since I last posted. The last post I left was a list of things I had to do for the week. Well it didn't really get done. The part time warehouse job that I was going to work at, I didn't get to go because I couldn't find my driver's license so I missed the opportunity. It sucks because I could have been working by now. I had to send away to get a new one and I have it now so I can try again to get on but first I want to see if I can find something else hopefully closer to home. I applied to a job this morning that is a company that makes shirts. Its a full time position 9:30 pm-6 am and its pretty much around the corner which sounds good to me. The description of the job said that all I would be doing is answering customers emails which sounds like an easy job and a sit down job which is what I want. I wouldn't mind a full time job then that way I'll bring home even more money to pay my debts off plus Christmas is coming up fast so I definitely need money for that. I hope that I will be able to get a job within the next couple of weeks so that I can start paying as much of my debts off until tax time so whatever is left over I can use my tax money to pay the rest off and hopefully my credit score will go up enough by the summer time so I can start looking for a house. I think getting a house will be my next move so I will spend one more year in this apartment then I hope to be moving in a house once the lease is up.

I didn't get to start school this semester unfortunately. Since I had been out for a year, I had to reapply as a returning student. I applied a month ago and I am still waiting to hear back. I hope I can hear something in the next couple of weeks because I also have to apply to the community college as a guest student so I can take my math and anatomy classes and I can't do that until I hear from them plus I think in October you can start registering for Spring classes and I would hate to have to wait until the last minute. So right now while I'm waiting, my main focus is finding a job.

Knock the week out...

I am so ready to get this next week over. It kind of seems like it will be a busier week than normal. First, I'm ready to get this weekend over because I have to work. It has been nice not having to work weekends but now I have to. I'm glad its every two months and not every other week like my last job. The one thing I'm looking forward to is getting chinese food from one of my favorite carry out places. I rarely get to go since I never have the time and the distance is far from where I live so I never get to go unless I have the time. I haven't been since the end of February or the beginning of March so its been months. After the weekend, the rest of the week I have my adviser appointment so I can schedule my classes and hopefully get my books, I'll have my off day from working the weekend on Wednesday so if I have the money I want to get my hair done. I haven't had my hair done in over a year and I want it nice and straight and I need my ends trimmed. I have to take my daughter to her gymnastics class since that's started back. Once this week is over, it will finally be back to school.

Looks like I have something....

Well I think I have a part time job now. Its a warehouse job. Which kind of sucks because it would have been nice to get a job where I didn't have to be on my feet the whole time but then again, I guess its better that way so I'll be awake. I know I'm not going to be getting much sleep. The hours are 11pm to 5am Monday-Thursday. So I know I will be very short on sleep because once I get off I have to go home and get ready for my day job. School will be starting in a week so throw that in the mix too. I figured I'm going to have to take a day off from my day job at least once every couple of weeks just so I can sleep. I will be carrying my backpack to my day job everyday so that if I get any free time before its time to go I can do some school work. I have to get it in whenever I get the chance. I know I'm going to wear myself out but hopefully my body will get use to it after awhile. I am ready to start. I have an orientation thing to go to next Wednesday so I hope to know then when I start. I sure do need to start asap. I'm just ready to be able to make more money so that way I can use the money from my day job to pay off debts I have and to bring my credit score up. Wish me luck on this journey of little sleep...

2 weeks to go....

School starts back in two weeks and I can't wait. I'm just ready to go back and work my butt off. I still have to wait until next Tuesday to see my adviser and register for my classes. Hopefully I'll be able to get my books too while I'm down there. I'll be taking 3 classes a semester except for one I'm doing 4 so I'm hoping it won't be too bad and I can make it through.

Job search continues...

I am still looking for a part time job. I didn't think it would be this hard to find a night job. You would think it would be plenty of night jobs around but I am having a hard time finding them. I'm not giving up though. I am looking everyday so hopefully something will come up. I wish I could just find me a desk job somewhere. I'm sure I'm going to have to get a job where I have to be on my feet the whole time which sucks since my full time job that's what I'm doing so why would i want another job to do that but I don't think I'll have much of a choice.

I also have decided to start looking for full time jobs in the field that I'm going to school for. I'm not looking for another job I am okay where I am at for right now but I figured it wouldn't hurt to look and if an opportunity came up, I would be stupid not to take it. So I'm going to apply to what I can and if I'm lucky someone might hire me but if not, I'm cool with it. I'm not too much in a rush to move on.

Wish it could be like the movies...

Sometimes I wish my life could be like a romantic movie. I must admit I still kind of have a thing for my ex. I don't know if that makes me stupid or not. Even after everything we have been through I still have a little soft spot for him. I know we haven't been together in over 2 years now and he has moved on but sometimes I wish he would come to the realization that he is still in love with me and wants to be with me and would do everything in his power to prove to me that he loves me and would do anything to be with me and make our family work. I really miss having my best friend around. I have yet to meet a guy who I feel comfortable around enough to think of as a best friend. It sucks when you can't be with the person you want. I guess life can't be like the movies all the time.