Very hurt........

Man, life is hard.......

This weekend was a very hard one for me. There was this guy I really, really liked and I have liked him for over a year now. But it looks like there is no more of "us". Me and him had a talk yesterday in which he informed me that him and his ex girlfriend would possibly be getting back together. I should have known this day would come but I just didn't want to believe it. Before I met this guy I didn't want to have anything to do with guys because I was sick of getting hurt. But then this guy came along, who I met at my former job a year and a half ago and ever since then we had become really close. I felt comfortable around him. I have never felt as comfortable and able to express myself freely around any other guy but him. So, of course, I assumed he was the one. Boy, was I dead wrong!! It really hurt me when he told me that basically he preferred to be with his ex girlfriend over me. And he use to tell me all this stuff that she would do to him that would make him mad. Plus his friends and family plus me would tell him to stay away from this girl, that she was no good for him. It just really sucks to be the one who got hurt and he is probably off not caring about how I feel even though he says he does. But it just seems like he got what he wanted which was her and I didn't get what I wanted which was him. So I am very hurt. For one thing, I feel like I lost one of my closest friends. And now things are a little awkward for me since he chose this girl over me. And I already know that once they get back together officially that our friendship will cease to exist. I am 98% sure that they will get back together and it just really sucks on my end. But this isn't the first time I have been hurt. This is just very shocking to me. It just really sucks that he would choose some childish girl who still needs to grow up over me. But when I analize it closer he still has some growing up to do too. But for all I know, once he gets back together with her, he'll realize he made a terrible mistake and realize she's not the one that he thought she was. One can only hope. But I give them 3 months tops. And even if he does realize it, I wouldn't want him anyway. After what he put me through. He at least made me come to the realization that I don't want a guy for a very long time. Its just gonna be me, myself, and I from now on.