Just some thoughts....

I haven't posted in 2 months so here's a few thoughts. Last month my daughter turned 3 years old. I can't believe she is 3. I think she had a good birthday. She had 4 cakes! One for school, one at home and two at her grandparents house for her birthday party. My birthday also passed and I can't believe I am so close to being 30 years old. It feels weird to even think that. I feel like I want to stay young forever. It kind of sucks that I'm not thinking about getting married since I am so close to 30 but I'm sure I will get there one day. I keep thinking that I have been single for almost 2 years! I haven't been in a relationship or anything since my ex. It was a part of me that held on to hope that one day me and him would work things out and get back together but I guess I was wrong. I can honestly say it sure would have been nice to have a good man in my life for me and my kids. I'm sure it will happen one day but it sure isn't easy taking care of two kids on my own. I didn't even get to rest after I got out the hospital from having my baby. I was out and about running errands and taking my daughter to school. It would be nice to be able to go out on dates but I have no one to go out with. Although I did meet a guy at work who I'm not too sure about. Plus after all the hell I went through with my ex I'm not looking forward to putting myself back in that situation again. I still have days where I cry because it is taking me a long time to get over everything I been through. Sometimes I can't think about it without wanting to cry. The pain is still deep inside me and is taking long to get out. I feel that everyday I'm getting better as time goes on. There was a point when I cried almost everyday so I'm making progress. I do pray that the lord will bless me with a good man who won't treat me bad and put me in a bad place like my last relationship. It's too bad my ex isn't a good guy. He isn't even there for my daughter. He comes and gets her every other weekend and once he brings her home he's not heard from again until the next time he picks her up. I think it sad. If he cared he would at least call or text every couple of days to check on her but he doesn't. He is so lame and the sad thing is he probably thinks of himself as a great dad and he's not. Too bad he can't see what I see.