Year almost over...

The year is almost over. Christmas has come and gone and it will be 2020 next week. I made it another year without getting a boyfriend. It's still hard to believe that I have been single for 6 1/2 years. Every time a new year comes around I always hope that it will be the year that someone finally comes into my life then the end of the year comes without it happening then I say we'll see what happens next year. Maybe 2020 will be my year or I will be saying this exact same thing this time next year.

I made it through the Fall semester. A B, C and C+. I wish I was one of those people who could get straight As but I'm just glad I passed the classes one of them especially since this was my 4th time taking it and this time I had a different teacher than the other three times so I'm convinced the teacher was the problem. I only have three semesters to go then I can finally graduate. I'm so close to being done but I think I'm going to have to sit out this Spring semester because I was unable to finish paying for the rest of the semester. I still owe $2,000+ dollars and if I can't pay I can't register for the semester. I have tried since the semester started to get the money but have had no luck and I don't know what to do. I'm trying to figure out my classes if I have to skip this semester and I am stumped. I am having a hard time figuring out how its going to work. I just wish I could find a way to get this money and not derail my plans. I have tried numerous times to get a loan but no one will give me one. I have tried to get a job which I did get a part time job but I'm not getting paid enough to pay off $2,000 but I'm still looking for another job. I literally have no idea what to do. I feel like every time I try to take 2 steps forward I have to take 10 steps back. I need a miracle to happen but I don't think it will.

Semester almost over...

The semester is almost over and I hope I can make it through with decent grades. It scares me to think that I'm not going to pass my classes. I have been getting the work done so I hope that will count for something. I think I have been doing pretty good keeping up with completing work this semester. The one thing I know I screwed up on was the one midterm I had to take and it was an open book test but of course I never had the book for the class. It sucks being broke. If only I could have received more financial aid I could have the books I need and I still owe money for the semester and have no idea how I'm going to pay it. So I can't register for any classes for next semester I guess until I can talk to the bursar. It's so frustrating. I just wish I knew of a way to get money to pay for the rest of what I owe. I have a part time job but there is no way that is going to help. I tried so hard to get a loan to help but I can't take out a loan without a cosigner and I don't have one of those. I feel so screwed. I have been applying to work from home jobs since the semester started three months ago and haven't heard anything about starting one. I can honestly say I do not know how I am going to get the money I need. I wish I knew who to talk to, where I can find some help. I just can't believe people just let students struggle without offering any help. I can't apply for scholarships because my GPA is too low. I really don't know what I am going to do unless a miracle comes my way in the next couple of weeks. I pray that everything works out. I don't want to have to stop going to school especially when I am almost done. I just hope everything works out in the end.

This is crazy...

So today I just found out that the guy I like is having a baby. I don't know why I always like the wrong guy. All I know is he wasn't the right guy for me anyway and I feel sorry for the girl he is having the baby with. I assume its his girlfriend and he has been doing nothing but cheating on her so better off her than me in that situation. I always feel like I only meet guys who are cheaters. When is the guy who is meant for me ever going to come into my life? It has been over six years and I am still single. I honestly do not think I will meet anyone let alone a good guy. There was this one guy I met through the facebook dating thing and he seemed cool but every time I try to message him he barely responds and a conversation never gets started. The irony is he always posts stuff about women not initiating conversations. I try and get ignored. The way things have been going I don't think I will ever find anyone. I don't know where all the good men are but in my experience all men are cheaters. Every time I see someone get engaged or married, I always wonder why that can't be me or is it ever going to be me. As much as I would love to have a man in my life, sometimes I think I am better off alone.

Jobs...

Who knew finding a part time job had to be so hard? I have been trying to find a part time job for months so that I can bring some extra money in and it seems like it is impossible. I really wanted to get a job in healthcare working part time nights but that has been a struggle because I have applied but never hear back. I was able to get on at a warehouse part time which is cool but hopefully I am able to get someone to help with my kids when I want to work once I start. I think it is a cool job because I will be able to work when I want and there isn't a set schedule. I start training next week and I am ready to start but I still wish I could get that part time night job. I'm not going to stop trying but it seems like you can never get the jobs you want.

I am slowly getting a Youtube channel started for my kids. It is going to be a channel on them playing board games for kids and going out to kid friendly places and events around the city. I think I will be in business wants I figure out how to edit videos. I also am going to add mystery boxes for them to open and review. Once I get the first videos up, I will create an email and an Instagram page for the channel.  I hope it will turn into a success. With all the different channels on there that I have seen, I hope we will be able to get millions of viewers and subscribers but I know it will take a long time to get it. We'll see how things go, between work and school, I hope I can find time to edit videos.

Fall semester starting soon...

Summer is almost over and the Fall semester starts next week. I'm ready but then again I'm not ready. I need to find out what's going on with my financial aid and if I can receive anymore. From what I see in my account, there is only one loan listed and that is not going to be enough to help cover the semester especially since I owe for the Summer. I'm nervous about school starting back because I always wonder if I am good enough to take the classes. There has been plenty of classes that I have retaken and I don't want to keep having to retake classes. I want to be able to keep going and finish. I am close to being done with school. I only have 4 semester left until graduation and if I can make it through this Fall semester I will be down to 3. Graduation is getting closer and closer and I want to do my best so that I can make it. I just hope this will be a successful semester but we will see what happens.

Summer session ending...

The Summer session at school is almost over. I have one week left and then I can enjoy the rest of my Summer until the Fall semester starts. I hope I can make it through these two classes. I feel like one of them I will pass and the other one can go either way but I want to pass both of them. The one I am not sure about I need to pass because one less class I have to worry about taking with this teacher will be great. This teacher sucks when it comes to teaching. For the final, she tells us to review the chapters but how are we suppose to review? Are we suppose to reread each chapter, or read the definitions? It's hard to know how we are suppose to study and I definitely do not have time to reread each chapter. We'll see how things go but I am hoping, wishing, and praying I can make it through these classes especially the one I am nervous about.

Cleansing...

I am starting a cleanse. I officially started today so before I started, all last week I was eating everything. All my fave foods: Subway, pizza, Chinese, Boston Market. I wanted to eat good before I started because I plan on cleansing pretty much the rest of the month. So I have to stay away from all the good foods for awhile. I am hoping I will be able to stay on it. It is definitely not easy doing a cleanse especially when you aren't eating anything and you start missing your favorite foods. I am attempting to do two cleanses. The one I am doing now is the 10 day smoothie cleanse. I am getting ready to order my next cleanse which is Dherbs and I am going to do that at the same time I am doing the smoothie cleanse. The smoothie cleanse is nothing but fruits and vegetables so I have spinach, kale, mixedgreens, berries, bananas, apples, mangos, and pineapples to make my smoothies for the next five days and then I will restock for the next five days. The Dherbs cleanse will work with it since you can't eat anything but raw fruits and vegetables. I'm starting off with the smoothies so that I can get use to eat before the Dherbs come in. I am also working out in the mornings so we will see how much weight I can lose by the end of this month. Day 1 is almost over, let's hope I can make it through tomorrow and the rest of the week. I'm nervous that I won't be able to because I am never good at completing cleanses. I can last the first few days then I am ready to eat some real food. If I can make it the first five days then I should be good to go and hopefully my body will be use to being on the cleanse and I won't be worried about trying to eat food. Let us hope I can make it.