Updating after another 2 months......

Well its been another 2 months since my last post. I can't believe I keep getting more spacey when it comes to posting. I'm trying to get on here and post more. But anyway, what's been going on with me in the last two months? Well my last post I told about how hurt I was about this guy choosing to be with his ex instead of with me. I can honestly say I am slowly but surely getting over that hurt. I'm not gonna lie, I am still bitter about the whole thing. I really cared about this guy and to just think about him being with his gf and going out with her and kissing her still hurts because I want that to be me. I want to be the one who has a guy to go out with on the weekends and someone who wants to call me just to check up on me. I just want to be loved and appreciated and wanted. Is that too much to ask for? Well, maybe one day it will be my turn to have the love of my life and to be with someone who cares about me just as much as I care about them. I always realize when I like someone I put more into then they do, like the whole relationship, whether we are together or not, I put 80% and he puts 20% instead of it being 50/50.

Also I have been going through the struggle of finding a job just like I have been all year. I have been doing the best I can filling out applications, putting in my resume, it is really hard to put in all those applications and to not be able to get anything at all. Well last week I saw a posting about a job fair that was suppose to be going on Monday and I definately planned on going. I thought if I go I might get lucky and get hired. But on Saturday my car ended up breaking down. You just could not realize how crushed I was because I didn't want to miss that job fair for anything and I didn't know how I would get to it without a car. There isn't anyone who I can depend on to ask to take me so my only option was to get on the bus. I am not an expert bus rider so I was nervous about getting on but I did my research and it all worked out I made it to the job fair and actually got hired I just had to wait on them to get my background check back then I could start. Well that happened yesterday. They called me back around 1:15pm and asked me if I could come in that day!! I can't believe they did that but I was determined to work so I went. Since I'm carless at the moment, I decided that I was going to walk. I walked 12 blocks and I had to hurry up in get there because I had to be there by 2:30pm!! I didn't have time to eat because I had woke up an hour before the lady called me and I didn't expect her to ask me to come in that day. Well I got to work and started working then after awhile I started getting dizzy and light-headed. I realized I must have had heat exhaustion. So I sat down for awhile and started to go back to work once I thought I was better but I started getting dizzy again so that's when I realized I needed to go home. Luckily, someone who lives down the street from me worked there and I was able to get a ride. Then later that night, the lady called me and told me that she thought I was a no call, no show because I didn't show up to the break room where I guess all the new people were suppose to meet. But when I got there there were a bunch of people outside for a meeting so I assumed that that's where I was suppose to be. Its not like I could distinguish against who was new and who had already worked there.

I'm going to continue this in another thread since I feel like I have wrote alot.