Good and bad news......

Well I have good and bad news about the guy I like. The bad news is I didn't get to go on my date with him. It bummed me out because I was so excited about it and had went all out to be ready for it. The good news is I still was able to go and see him. He invited me to his house to watch movies. I was glad I at least got to see him because the reason I wanted to see him was so I could see if there was any chemistry between us, to see if my feelings for him from just writing each other was real. My instincts were right. I genuinely like him and I'm glad I was able to find out. The crazy thing is when he called me I wasn't nervous talking to him. That was the first time I had talked to him on the phone before that we always texted. When I got to his house I was only nervous for a second. From the time I got out the car to the time I got to the door was the only time I was nervous once I got in the door I was fine. I went in and we watched two movies. The first one was Grown Ups 2 which was funny glad I got to see it. While watching the movie I enjoyed the closeness we had with each other. The second movie we watched was Evolution with David Ducovney and Orlando Jones. It came out in 2001 but I don't think I have ever seen it. It was a pretty good movie. Through the movies we talked and cuddled and just enjoyed each others company. I honestly didn't want to leave him and I wish I didn't have to. I just hope there will be more chances for us to spend time with each other. I really like him and I just don't want to be jumping the gun on anything since it's too soon to tell what is going to happen with us but I don't want to lose the opportunity of getting to know a good guy and he could possibly be the guy I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. I just pray that God put this man in my life for a reason. It's a part of me that thinks we were meant to find each other. After my last relationship I feel like I'm scared to give anyone my heart. I did that and you see how that turned out. I don't want to get into a relationship and have to go through the lying and cheating that I dealt with. I don't want to invest time getting to know someone and get to know them and their family and then after everything we had been through over the years he walks out and treats me like we weren't once in love and meant something to each other. I don't want my past to interfere with my future but it's hard when you have been hurt so bad it makes you think every guy is going to treat you that way. I don't want to go through trusting someone then losing it. All I want is God to send me a genuine and sincere man who will love me for me and will not judge me for my flaws. Someone who has their head on straight and knows what he wants in life. Someone who I can see myself marrying and building a family with. Someone I know who will love me, take care of me and our family and be there no matter what. That's all I want but I know that I don't want to lose this guy I would love if I could have him in my life. I don't know if it is apart of God's plan for me but all I can do is wait and see what my future holds.