Online Dating.....

I wonder how successful it can be to date someone you meet online. I have went on a website and started talking to a couple people online. I looked up men between the ages of 26-40. The first guy I talked to sent me a message and told me a couple things about himself. He said that he had 2 associates degrees, he owns his own business and he is 29 years old. We talked on the phone and texted for a week before we met each other. He invited me to his house which I think is strange to invite someone to your house that you barely know and who you met online. I could have been a crazy person. I went over there and we talked and watched a movie. He lives in a house with his dad and sister. Things went a little far but I realized he wasn't really my type. It was at least nice to feel wanted by a guy. I hadn't felt wanted by a guy in months and it was nice to have someone to be with if only for a little while. He seems like a really nice guy and everything but doesn't seem like my type. I guess he realized I don't seem interested in him because I haven't heard from him in a couple days. Another guy that I am talking to right now I feel that I am very interested in. He seems like a very interesting guy. What I know about him so far is he is 30 years old, he has a 4 year old daughter, has his own house, works for the state, and has a bachelors degree, and a law degree and is working on getting another degree so he is very educated. I don't know any guy who is that educated so that really attracted me to him. I enjoy talking to him and I feel like I sit on the website just to wait for him to write me back everyday. I would like it if we could exchange numbers so that I don't have to be sitting on the website waiting to hear from him all day everyday but I honestly don't mind us writing each other. I'm really enjoying just getting to know him. He told me he passed out candy for Halloween and I don't know anyone who passes candy out for Halloween and he enjoys the Christmas holiday as much as I do. We'll see what happens but I hope something good happens he seems like someone I would be interested in. Only time will tell......

So hard to wait.....

I have been job hunting this whole year and it is amazing how hard it is to get a job. I have applied to over 100 jobs and still nothing. I am just determined to get out of my dead end job and go somewhere that I can be appreciated and earn more money. I can't even get an apartment because of the little money I make. That is why I am stuck living with my grandmother because I am on the waiting list for low income apartments and the waiting is torture. I have been on the waiting list for 3 1/2 months now. I wonder how much longer I am going to have to wait. Too bad I can't move out west or something. It seems like all the decently priced apartments are either out west or out south and I can't go that far. I am trying to stay around the area that I have always been but it is hard. If I could just get me a decent paying job then I would be able to get any apartment that I want with no problems. I have applied to a couple of jobs today that I have found on Indeed. Now I am looking on Simply Hired to see if there is anything else I can apply to. It is so hard and torturing to be waiting by the phone for someone to call between waiting on getting another job and trying to get an apartment it seems to make things stressful. I feel like I am hoping for a Christmas miracle and that I will be able to get an apartment and a job by then. I will settle for one or the other I just want something to happen soon. Christmas is less than 6 weeks away so all I can do is pray for a miracle and wait and see if anything happens.....

To good to be true....

Well I finally got the courage to talk to the guy I liked. I saw him at work but only got to talk to him for a split second and never really had time to talk. So after I got off I went over to where he worked and tried to find him because he seemed to confirm that he liked me so I wanted to know why he would never ask for my phone number. It would have been nice to be able to get to know him outside of work since we barely see each other at work and when we do see each other we barely get to talk. So I went and got to talk to him found out he was 38 but the bad part is he said he was married. That put a damper on things. I spent a week fantasizing and waiting to see him to talk to him just to find out he is married. Of course he had to be married it was just to good to be true to find somebody to grow a connection with. So those plans are over but it was nice to have someone to think about for a while even though things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to. Right now, I am just going to focus on getting ready for school.

Hopeful future plans....

Now that I have officially been excepted into school, I can start planning my classes. The email that they sent me said I have to sign up for orientation and to take my placement tests. I am so determined to make something of myself. Everyday I go to work and I dislike my job so much. I want to be able to have a career and not just a job. I want to be happy to go to work everyday and not dread it. I want  to be able to make good pay and not the little bit of money that I am making now. I feel like I have to struggle everyday with the little bit of money I bring home every 2 weeks. I want to be able to live comfortably and be able to take care of my family one day and not have to live check to check the rest of my life. I see all the older people at my job and I do not want to be like them in my 40s and 50s stuck at a job making minimum wage and can't find anything better. I refuse to have my life turn out that way I'm glad I am still young enough to make something of myself. I know it is going to be hard work but ready for the challenge. Its going to be a long road but it will pay off in the end.

So excited!!.....

I'm so excited I just can't believe it. I just found out about 2 hours ago that I got excepted to college. A 4 year college that I will be attending to get my bachelors in. I can't wait to start. I have 3 more months of relaxation, come January, I will officially be back in school. Previously, I was going to a community college but haven't attended in the past year because I lost my financial aid from dropping and failing classes and I haven't been able to pay out of pocket as much as I tried to. I didn't want to go for my bachelors until I had got my associates but since I was having so much trouble getting done without financial aid I figured I might as well go ahead and get started on my bachelors now that way I should be able to get my financial aid back and since I lost a year at my other school might as well start fresh in another school. Luckily, my credits transfer over so some of my classes I won't have to take over again. I do know I am going to have to take the dreaded math classes and they require you to take 2 classes. I already know when I take the placement test for math I am going to test low and have to start at the lowest class which means I'll have to take 3 math classes which will totally suck but I am ready for it. I still can't believe I am going back to school I know I am determined to make something of my life and not make minimum wage the rest of my life. I'll continue this in my next post....

My Daughter....

I just wanted to do a post on my daughter. I love spending time with her. Its just fun being able to play with her everyday. I can't wait until she gets older so we can do even more things together although I am not in that big of a rush for her to get older I like her being a baby. I always look at her baby pictures and still can't believe how big she is now. I wish she was still a newborn. I feel like I can't wait to have more babies so that I can have another little one. No rush though but I can't wait to expand my family but hopefully the next time I will be married. Its too bad her father decided to leave us. He is missing out on so much it sucks but I can't feel too bad about it since it was his choice to leave. I guess this is what he wanted not to be there for his daughter everyday. I guess I was such a horrible person to be with that he didn't even want to be around to watch his daughter grow up. All I can say is its his loss. Anyway, I hope I have nothing but girls in the future when I have more kids. I can't even imagine having a boy, although I would welcome a boy, I would rather have all girls. I guess we will find out when the time comes until then no rush.

Trying to move on.....

Well I am still having a hard time with my break up. I'm starting to feel a little bit better about the whole thing. I don't cry everyday anymore thankfully but it still hurts to think about everything. I'm trying to move on the best I can but its not that easy when you lost someone you planned on spending the rest of your life with. There is this guy at my job that I am interested in and I think he is interested in me too. I hope I am not reading the signals wrong. It seems like he flirts with me when I do get to see him so I guess we'll see what happens. He asked me the other day if I had a special guy in my life and I told him unfortunately not and he was surprised about it. He asked me if I thought all guys were dogs and I said pretty much. He said that all guys weren't dogs and I told him that hasn't been proven to me yet so he said that we'll have to work on that. I assume he meant that he was going to prove to me himself that all guys weren't dogs so we'll see. The only thing is I don't see him that much. We work in the same department but in different places so I don't get to see him a lot. I want to be able to get to know him. First thing I need to do is either get his number or he get mines then we can get to know each other maybe start going out on dates. I feel like I spend my free time fantasizing about him and possibly having a future with him but first I think I should find out if he is even seeing anyone before I even attempt to even get his phone number. I have been waiting to get this weekend over and ready to go to work so that I can hopefully see him to talk to him and hopefully get his phone number or him get mines. The last two days at work I didn't see him at all so I have between Monday and Thursday to see what I can do. This guy is older than me though. I am sure he is somewhere in his 30s but I am not sure how old he is I will totally need to find out. Thankfully this day is almost over and I can go to work tomorrow and hopefully see him. That's all I am looking for right now is just someone to get to know and to date not even thinking about sex right now. I am not thinking about sex until we have had a chance to get to know each other better. I feel like I want it to be special and nothing to just rush into. I am going to try Steve Harvey's 90 day rule. His rule is based on when you start a new job you are on probation for 90 days before you can get any benefits  so the same thing will work in a relationship wait at least 90 days to see if the guy is even worthy enough for me to share that part of myself with him. But like I said I am just interested in getting to know him for now and I think it really interest me that he is older. I am use to only dating guys around my age never really considered dating anyone significantly older than me but I totally am game to try.

Wish me luck