More Opportunities....

I want my kids to have more opportunities in life than I had. I have my daughter signed up for gymnastics and dance classes. I also plan on getting her involved in other things as she gets older. I might sign her up for ice skating lessons one day then music lessons. I want her to learn how to play the violin and maybe trumpet or some woodwind instrument. The only problem I have with that is finding a place that offers music lessons. When she's a little older I might get her involved with sports like volleyball and softball. I have all this stuff I want to get them involved in so that way they will grow up knowing how to do something and have a skill. Whether its gymnastics, dance, ice skating, music or sports. They will be an expert at something. I just want them to be in different activities and do things I never got to do as a kid. My mom never put me in activities when  was a kid. I learned how to play an instrument in middle school and if I hadn't then I wouldn't know how to do anything. I am excited to see what they will grow up knowing how to do.

Just some thoughts....

I haven't posted in 2 months so here's a few thoughts. Last month my daughter turned 3 years old. I can't believe she is 3. I think she had a good birthday. She had 4 cakes! One for school, one at home and two at her grandparents house for her birthday party. My birthday also passed and I can't believe I am so close to being 30 years old. It feels weird to even think that. I feel like I want to stay young forever. It kind of sucks that I'm not thinking about getting married since I am so close to 30 but I'm sure I will get there one day. I keep thinking that I have been single for almost 2 years! I haven't been in a relationship or anything since my ex. It was a part of me that held on to hope that one day me and him would work things out and get back together but I guess I was wrong. I can honestly say it sure would have been nice to have a good man in my life for me and my kids. I'm sure it will happen one day but it sure isn't easy taking care of two kids on my own. I didn't even get to rest after I got out the hospital from having my baby. I was out and about running errands and taking my daughter to school. It would be nice to be able to go out on dates but I have no one to go out with. Although I did meet a guy at work who I'm not too sure about. Plus after all the hell I went through with my ex I'm not looking forward to putting myself back in that situation again. I still have days where I cry because it is taking me a long time to get over everything I been through. Sometimes I can't think about it without wanting to cry. The pain is still deep inside me and is taking long to get out. I feel that everyday I'm getting better as time goes on. There was a point when I cried almost everyday so I'm making progress. I do pray that the lord will bless me with a good man who won't treat me bad and put me in a bad place like my last relationship. It's too bad my ex isn't a good guy. He isn't even there for my daughter. He comes and gets her every other weekend and once he brings her home he's not heard from again until the next time he picks her up. I think it sad. If he cared he would at least call or text every couple of days to check on her but he doesn't. He is so lame and the sad thing is he probably thinks of himself as a great dad and he's not. Too bad he can't see what I see.

Going good so far....

Today was my second day on the job and it is going good. I like my job its pretty simple. All I'm doing is stocking rooms. I only have to do one floor and it lasts me the whole day, although that will probably change once I get use to doing it everyday. I haven't met many of the other employees yet because I don't see them since I work on my floor alone. I am picking up on what I'm suppose to do easily it isn't difficult at all. I will be happy when I have been there for awhile and know my way around. I only know how to get to where our office is, the cafeteria, and the 6th floor. Not familiar with the rest of the place but hopefully as time goes by I will get a chance to figure it out. One thing that sucks is I haven't got my work ID yet. I took the picture for it 2 weeks ago I would have assumed I should have had it on my first day. For now, I'm walking around with a stupid visitor pass. I think its dumb, I'm an employee walking around with a visitor pass. I can't wait until I finally get my badge. I kind of like the food they have. I prefer the breakfast but over all, breakfast and lunch, is better than my last job. All of there food was always premade, from the eggs to the burgers, but up at my job there food is made to order. If you want a burger, they will make it right there in front of you. But like I said, I prefer breakfast. They have French toast and I love me some French toast. Its my favorite thing to eat for breakfast and they make it right there in front you as you order it not have it sitting there or awhile. You couldn't get French toast at my old job. I also like the fact that as I'm going to work in the morning, it gets light out. Its nice because I'm not use to it since I'm use to getting out the house at 4 in the morning. I'm going to try and see if I will be able to come in early temporarily so I can keep my baby at home instead of having her go to some random babysitter's house. I have been lucky this week that my mom has only been working half days so she has been getting her in the afternoons but I don't know if that will be over after this week or not. Hopefully I will be able to unless there is a reason why I can't but it would only be temporary until I can get my baby in the same place my daughter is. I have nothing to complain about things are going good right now and I am ready to start getting paid I'm sick of being broke.

Tomorrow is the day...

I start my new job tomorrow. Of course I'm scared and nervous but I'm also excited to start something new. The thing that pissed me off was that our uniform has to be khaki pants. I never knew it would be so hard to find khaki scrub pants. You can find scrub pants in any color except khaki it seems. It figures the color we needed was the hardest one to find. I did eventually find some so I'm good to go. I just hope the day and the week goes by smoothly. We'll see how it all works out. I'm just thankful that I have another job and that I will be making a little bit more than what I was making. I hope there are cool people up there. That is one thing I will miss about my old job is the cool people I got to meet and get to know. Hopefully everyone is nice and doesn't cause problems.

Valentine's Day....

Well Valentine's Day has came and left and of course I spent it alone. It seems like I am always alone all the time. Will I ever find that special someone? It seems like everyone has someone but me. The guy who I thought I would have something with that didn't work out because he went back to his kid's mom again. I knew I wouldn't have a chance. I figured he would try and work things out with her and I knew I never had a chance. It is what it is. There's nothing I can do but to go on with my life. It totally sucks being single especially when Valentine's Day comes around then you see all these pictures of what people get and giving their appreciation to their loved one and I don't have anyone to be happy to be in love with or anything. I will be so happy when that day comes when I am not alone anymore it totally sucks. I hate it so much.

Didn't think I would feel that way....

Well I made it through my last day of work. I thought I was going to be super excited and ready to bust out of that place but I felt the exact opposite. I felt a little sad and anxious because I didn't want the day to end. I knew when the day was over that it was going to be all over. The whole day I kept thinking this is the last time I'm going to do this, the last time I'm going to do that, the last time I'm going to be here. As much as I'm glad to be gone, it sucks to leave because I'm so use to being there and familiar with everything. I'm looking forward to starting my new job but not looking forward to being the new person. I just hope I won't have to deal with the stuff I did when I started my last job. I had so many people come up to me asking me if I was new. But its all over now. I am officially done with that job after 5 years. I still can't believe it but I know its time for me to move on. I just hope this job is nothing like my last job.

This is it...

Today is my last day at my job after 5 long years. I am happy that this day is finally here but it is sad because there is a lot of cool people that I'm going to miss. I am looking forward to starting my new job but not looking forward to being the new person. I just hope I don't have to go through what I went through when I started my old job and have to deal with people asking me if I'm new. Lucky me I don't have to go in until Tuesday since Monday is a holiday to them so I will get a three day weekend. I just hope this is the beginning of good things happening in my life and I hope that this job does not turn out like my last job and that I will somewhat like it and not hate and start dreading to go in everyday. I will be happy when I can get my baby in the same child care place as my older daughter. Right now, she's going to have to start going to some lady's house until I can get her in and I hope it won't be for too long I will at least try to do it for a month. I would rather have my grandma keep her but she has to be at work at 3 and I won't get off until 4:30 and everyone else works days so there is no one to depend on that's the one downfall about leaving my job is that I got off early enough that she didn't need a babysitter. I'm hoping I can work something out with my job to where I will be able to maybe come in early so I can leave early. Maybe after a couple weeks and I have been there long enough to know what I will be doing. I hope they will be able to work with me so that way she will only go to that babysitter for a couple of weeks then I can get my grandma to keep her again until I can get her in with my daughter. I hope it won't take long. I'm hoping by the end of March everything will work out. Another thing I am worried about is finding somewhere there to pump since I am breastfeeding. At my old job it wasn't a problem because I knew where to go but I don't know where to go at my new job so I will ask when I get there and hopefully I will have time to do it. We only get half hour lunch breaks so I don't see how I would have time to eat and pump. I had hour lunch breaks at my old job so this is going to be a transition but I'm ready for something new. I will be happy when I'm not considered the new person any more.