Very hurt........

Man, life is hard.......

This weekend was a very hard one for me. There was this guy I really, really liked and I have liked him for over a year now. But it looks like there is no more of "us". Me and him had a talk yesterday in which he informed me that him and his ex girlfriend would possibly be getting back together. I should have known this day would come but I just didn't want to believe it. Before I met this guy I didn't want to have anything to do with guys because I was sick of getting hurt. But then this guy came along, who I met at my former job a year and a half ago and ever since then we had become really close. I felt comfortable around him. I have never felt as comfortable and able to express myself freely around any other guy but him. So, of course, I assumed he was the one. Boy, was I dead wrong!! It really hurt me when he told me that basically he preferred to be with his ex girlfriend over me. And he use to tell me all this stuff that she would do to him that would make him mad. Plus his friends and family plus me would tell him to stay away from this girl, that she was no good for him. It just really sucks to be the one who got hurt and he is probably off not caring about how I feel even though he says he does. But it just seems like he got what he wanted which was her and I didn't get what I wanted which was him. So I am very hurt. For one thing, I feel like I lost one of my closest friends. And now things are a little awkward for me since he chose this girl over me. And I already know that once they get back together officially that our friendship will cease to exist. I am 98% sure that they will get back together and it just really sucks on my end. But this isn't the first time I have been hurt. This is just very shocking to me. It just really sucks that he would choose some childish girl who still needs to grow up over me. But when I analize it closer he still has some growing up to do too. But for all I know, once he gets back together with her, he'll realize he made a terrible mistake and realize she's not the one that he thought she was. One can only hope. But I give them 3 months tops. And even if he does realize it, I wouldn't want him anyway. After what he put me through. He at least made me come to the realization that I don't want a guy for a very long time. Its just gonna be me, myself, and I from now on.

How's It Goin?.....

Wow!! It seems like forever since I last posted. It has been over two months so I guess I have been slacking a little....okay A LOT!!!. Anyway, let's see if I can get up to date of what's been going on with me since. The job I had when I last posted I was unfortunately laid off from back in May. Which sucked big time because I was going to start taking coding classes and as soon as I was about to register I was laid off so I didn't get to put the money in for the class. Considering that I didn't know the next time I was going to be working and I had to save what money I had left on gas and food. Eventually, the money ran out and I was trying to get unemployment but that didn't work out since I was suppose to bring in 8 paystubs and only had 7 with the amount that they told me was suppose to be on them. My last check was under the amount since I was let go on a Monday. So when I couldn't get unemployment I started to panic and get really upset because I didn't know what I was going to do without money. How was I going to eat? I didn't want to have to go back to the way things were before I got that job: being broke, not having gas in my car or unable to buy food, and wondering how was going to eat the next day. But not long after I got a phone call from one of the temp places about a job and I was extremely happy. Now this was just last month. I went to the temp place to fill out paperwork and take a drug test and had to go to the job the next day. So the next day, I drive to the place and it took me about 30 mins. or more to find the place. So obviously, I was super late but it wasn't my fault I couldn't find the name of the place anywhere and it was just very confusing looking for address numbers. Anyway, when I finally got inside the place the dumb guy told me he didn't need me and that I could leave. I was so pissed. I went through trying to find that place and finally making it to getting sent back home as soon as I walked through the door. It sucked soo much. Then the company I was working for before that layed me off called me and gave me a job and this was two weeks ago. Let's just say I didn't want to go back there after they laid me off and I would feel really weird going back up there and having to see people I was working with before I was laid off. But what could I say? I really needed the money and so I went. And like I thought the whole first day I was there I felt really uncomfortable but I made it through. All the people I worked with, we knew what the deal was. We knew that we would be getting laid off anyday again. So all this week, we all knew that this could possibly be our last week. There was barely any work for anyone to do and we actually had a day off on Wednesday and nobody came to work. I didn't know that we weren't suppose to come in because I left early Tuesday to get home to watch Michael Jackson's memorial. So I go to work and there were no cars there!! I was really creeped out because it was close time to clock in and nobody was there but a couple of cars so I just sat there and I wasn't going in until more people showed up. After awhile I was just going to go in and see what was going on. So as I was riding up to the front door, two people I work with told me that we weren't working and to come in the next day. That was the first sign of trouble. Then yesterday was the second sign. We came in and there wasn't any work for us to do. So instead of telling us the go home they were just trying to find random stuff for us to do. I left early again like on Tuesday. Now today, I wasn't sure if we had to come in today or not so I got up early and took the drive and found we didn't. I had a feeling we didn't but I just wanted to make sure. And now they called me and I assume its to let me know that I'm laid off again. I haven't called them back to find out yet but I have a really good feeling that's what their calling for. All I know is that hopefully they don't call me back again because I won't be going back a third time to get laid off AGAIN! But today, I just found out that I got two job offers. Trying to call them but no luck in getting through yet. I just pray that things work out. I really need a job now and I hope I get hired on at one of these jobs. That's basically everything that's been going on in the past two months to today. I'll try not to wait another two months to post again. That's all for now.

Long time.....

Its been a long time since I have posted. Not much has been going on. I still have my job and I thank the LORD everyday for it. I really love working there. The work is easy once you get use to it and I can listen to my music. The day really flies by. I don't think I have ever had a job where the work day goes by quick. I just hope I can keep this job and don't have to worry about being fired or laid off. After this week, I will have been there a month so time is really going by fast.

This past weekend I finally got to buy me some rollerblades. But it looks like I will be taking them back. I tried to see if I was any good on them and I could barely keep my balance. So I think I will just buy some regular roller skates. But now I might have a problem taking the rollerblades back. I got them from Target and they have this policy about if your returning something it has to be new and unused. So I pray they cut me a break I only had the blades on to test and see if I was any good in them and that was only maybe 10-15 mins. So I will take them back probably this weekend and hopefully they will take them because I don't know what I'm going to do with rollerblades that I can't skate in.

Last Week.........

Well last week was really cool. I started my new job and I believe that I am going to like it. I'm working at a pharmaceutical company and I will be processing returned products. This job is cool for the simple fact that I get to sit down on my butt all day. It's really amazing to me because I never have had a job where I sit the whole time, only jobs where I have to stand all day. I didn't find out that it was a sit down job until my first day so I was pretty shocked. We get to sit in front of computers all day and we get to listen to music. So we can bring our Ipods, CD players, and CDs to use in the computer and listen to music all day. I know I'm really going to like it because I am not use to having a job where I get to sit the whole shift plus listen to music. I really lucked out with this job. I just hope that since this is a temp to hire job that I will get hired on full time with the company. I really would hate to get fired or layed off from this job because the money I'm making from here is going to my school fund plus my moving fund. It's a 90-day wait to be considered for full employment with the company and I just hope I can make it these 3 months and I'm just getting through with my first week so there is definately a long way to go. I just hope I don't have to worry about getting fired or layed off. I am sooooo over having to look for a job and sending resume after resume to different places and not hearing anything back.

I am sooo looking forward to the next couple of months. Next month I will be enrolling in my first class towards getting my certificate in Medical Coding and I am looking forward to it. I am so excited I can't wait until June when the class starts. I honestly feel like my life is turning around finally. I have a cool job and hopefully will be starting my classes in 2 months. I am ready. I'm just glad I will be able to get out of the house everyday. Before last week I have been basically stuck in the house everyday with nothing to do and no where to go, but now all that is changing and I'm glad. I see it like this: Sundays will be church(which I haven't been in awhile but definately ready to start going back and hopefully that will start in May) and if I'm sitting around the house bored I can go skating, Mondays and Wednesdays will be work and school, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays will be just work and possible studying, and Saturdays will be class and if I'm bored skating. So it looks like my days will be filled and its so nice to know I will have some where to go and something to do everyday besides staying in the house being bored. Someone my age should have things to do and not just be sitting in the house so I so so so can not wait until June, just 2 months away.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!........

Today is my birthday. YAY!!!!!!!!!! I must admit I feel great!!! Especially since I know I have a job now. Its just great to know that things are looking up. Now on my list of things to do is save money. Thats very important because I can take my coding classes that I want which I'm excited about. The classes start in June(June 1st to be exact) and I'm only taking one class at a time. The thing that surprised me when I went to look at the information is that I'm only thaking one class at a time so I'm only paying for one class at a time. That sounds alot better than paying $2000 all at once, which is what I thought I was going to have to do. So I am super excited and can not wait unitl May so I can register for the class. So I can actually say this has been a good week for me, considering its my birthday week too makes it even more awesome. Now I can't wait until the weekend. I get to hang out with my friend and then next week I start working. YAY!!!!!! Just when I thought my life was just getting worse and worse, it starts to get better when you least expect it to. So don't underestimate the power of prayer. It may take awhile for what you want to happen but if you believe and stay positive it will happen. I know I am very thankful to see another year and I can't wait to start this job.

Oh yeah I was also thinking now that I have a job and will have money that I would buy me some skates to help get me outside and to exercise. I don't know when I will get a chance to buy them, but it will definately be sometime this summer.

YES!!!!.......

I am sooooo happy!!! I can now officially say I have a job!! It feels really good to be able to say that. I feel like I have been waiting forever to get a job. I think I have filled out 90+ applications since December and it is just crazy that I haven't heard from anybody. I have filled out over 20 applications this month alone and not one place I have applied to has called me. But yesterday I got the call from the place I previously posted about saying they kept calling me for 2nd shift and that I wanted 1st and only 1st shift. Well, they finally called me for 1st shift and I start next week. I'm am so excited because the hours are from 6:30am-3pm. I can't believe I get off of work at 3pm!! That is early to me considering the last job I had I got off at 5 or 6pm and I came in at 6 or 7am. I really dislike 10 hour jobs. Luckily for me, this is an 8 hour job. So basically this job fits all of my criteria for a job, which is also in a previous post. So this job is a day or 1st shift job, its monday-friday(yay no weekends!), I get off way b4 5pm, and I think that's it lol. But I'm also glad that this job is in the city and I don't have to go out of the city to another town to work. I was also thinking that it would be cool if I got a job b4 my birthday and I did. My birthday is officially tomorrow. YAY!!! I will 22 years old and now that I have a job I feel great. The one thing I have a problem with is trying to go back to school. I thought I could go to the community college, but they don't offer evening classes for my major for some reason which sucks so now I have to go and search again to see what school I can go to next year. I just don't understand how they do not offer evening classes. I don't know what I am going to do bcuz I want to go to a school with an accredited progam and unfortunately its not that many options, but I'm going to try and hopefully I will fine something. But all I know is that I can officially cross find a job off my list of things to do and I can start saving up my money to move and to take the classes I want ro take. I can officially say that a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders and the monkey is finally, FINALLY off my back. I'm just glad that this job finally after a month came through for me. I must admit though it has really been a day to day struggle trying to get a job and live without any money but I am glad that this setback is going to be over.

My future plans.........

I just wanted to write down the things that I hope to accomplish in the future. By writing it down, I can look at it and hopefully it will motivate me to achieve my goals. So I always think about going back to school and what I want to do when I go back. But I don't plan on going back to school until either next Summer or Fall. But sometime this year I hope to be able to go take some Medical Coding classes so that I can get a certificate for that. Then after that, I plan to take some American Sign Language(ASL) classes. That is, if I have the money to. Then I plan on going back to school next Summer or Fall to get an Associates Degree in Health Care Administration or Technology(which ever one the school I go to offers). Hopefully I will be able to go to the Community College to get my Associates. Then I can transfer to the university and get a Bachelors Degree. Then I will decide on if I wil get a Masters. Then if I decide to go back to school when I'm a lot older, like late 30s or early 40s, I might go back to school to major in ASL. That's what I wanted to go to school for first, but now I really want to go to school for Health Care Technology. But we will see what happens because I have been interested in ASL for years now and right now I'm
teaching myself how to sign. It is definately a hobby of mines. So who knows if in the future if I will go to school for it
I hope I do but we will see because by then I'm hoping to be married with kids and my family will probably be occupying all my time, but anything can happen.