Here I am...

Hey!! I haven't been on here in almost a year. Time to update!! Well I am still at my job that I have been trying to leave but I figure I'm fine with being up there for now. I am proud to say that as of today, I have been at my job for 2 1/2 years! That is the longest that I have been at any job so I am darn proud of myself. On March 13th, I had my baby! A little girl we named Khloe. She will be 3 months on the 13th and I'm so thankful to have her in my life. I'm so happy to finally be a mom. It's the best and something I have wanted for a long time. I am 25 years old right now so I'm glad I'm starting on kids now, I would hate to have to wait any longer. There are sometimes where it can be hard but I wouldn't trade it for anything. At the end of next month, I will be moving to a 2 bedroom apartment and I can not wait. With Khloe here now, its time for more space and I am excited. The place that I am moving to has just been completely renovated and everything over there is brand new. I am so ready to leave the apartments I am at now. They are so small and cramped and I hate that there are so many ducks over there. Its horrible! Its duck poop everywhere. Once I move I won't have to deal with it anymore. Its gonna be a little sad to move. I have been at the apartments I am at for 2 years now but I am ready to go and have a fresh start somewhere else. I am having trouble with school right now. I lost my financial aid so I put in a financial aid appeal with the school hoping to get my financial aid back so I could take classes this summer but the appeal was denied and I was unable to take my classes. There was no way I could pay for classes out of pocket. Between having to pay bills, pay rent for the apartment I am at now and pay for the apartment I am going to next month I just couldn't afford it right now. But I am hoping to be able to go back in the fall. I am going to have to pay for it out of pocket which sucks but I want to be able to finish my degree and graduate. I just have to get myself back up to a 2.0 then I should be able to get my financial aid back hopefully. I'm also trying to get me a part time job in a hotel some where. I look online all the time trying to find things I can apply to. I feel like I have applied to so many jobs and can't get an interview or anything but I will keep trying. well I think that is all for now. I seriously can not believe I haven't been on here in almost a year. I hope to not have that happen again. So until next time....See ya!!

Hoping for a good thing....

Hello!

Just sitting here waiting to go to work unfortunately. My job so sucks I am ready for a new one. I hate going up there. Its hard wanting to get up to go to a job you hate but my only motivation is money because without it I would be no where right now. Plus I hate depending on others to take care of me. I want to be able to take care of myself. I really feel like its time for a fresh start somewhere else. I don't think my boss really likes me and he told me the other day that I should of been fired but he didn't want to deal with the paperwork. So I took that as my cue to move on before I do end up getting fired and I need all the money I can get now. I'm already not making much up there as it is. So right now, I am hoping that I can get transfered to another hospital. I have already applied to it and I called the HR department to see what I needed to do. The guy told me I needed to get in touch with the manager at the hospital I am trying to go to but I didn't know since its a brand new hospital that hasn't been opened yet. Come to find out the hiring manager is my old boss who hired me for the job I am at now. I sent him an email about wanting to transfer to that one which would allow me to be in a new position too, which also means more money. He said interviews are starting next week and that he would let me know. I'm praying that he doesn't forget about me. I am so nervous you do not understand how much I want this job. I want it more than anything right now. I am hoping that I have a good chance in getting it since I have already been in the department for over a year in a half now. Still, it doesn't mean that I will end up getting it. I am trying my best to think positively but it still scares me because I want this job so much and I am so ready to get away from the job I am at. It is so annoying having to go to a job where I do the same thing every day with no variety. I want to be able to know how to do everything in my department not just one thing and my bosses are not giving me the opportunity to be able to do that. Even though they are letting others in my department. So I feel if I can't do more there I should go somewhere else where I will be able to do more than just one thing all day every day. Plus the fact that I am making less money than everyone in my department is definately unfair to me and considering I'm not going be trying to take care of just me but a baby soon is all the more reason for another job. I already realized I can barely take care of myself with the little bit of money I make every two weeks let alone a baby. So I am really praying that everything works out for the best. That's all I can do is think positively, pray, and hope for a good thing.

Guess what!....

Officially on Monday I found out I am pregnant!! I still can't believe it. Its so surreal. It didn't take as long as I thought it would. My boyfriend is excited as well as I. I just hope everything goes well and I have a healthy baby. I can't wait until he or she gets here. I am due in March and that is a long way away. I am only 4 weeks and 1 day right now so its a ways to go. I can't wait for my first doctor's appointment. Its not until August 15th which is a month from now. I hope the time goes by fast. I don't think I will actually feel pregnant until I go and see the ultrasound and hear the heartbeat. So far I haven't had much problems like throwing up or anything. I think the only thing I have is that I am tired but I was always tired before I got pregnant. I just hope I don't have bad morning sickness. I hope to keep up with this blog so I can discuss my changes and what I'm going through every week.

Its that time.....

Well on Sunday I started taking ovulation tests so I would know when I'm ovulating to increase my chances of becoming pregnant this month. Today, I got my positive. Yay!!! I have been reading on messages boards that people who use them get pregnant the first month they use them so I pray it works for me and by the end of this month I will be pregnant. I think the one thing that makes me nervous about finding out that I am pregnant is how is my family gonna react? I shouldn't be afraid. I am 24 years old. Its not like I'm a teenager in high school but still it kinda frightens me. All I know is whatever happens I have a good man who will be by my side through it all and that's all that matters. Well wish us luck!! I want this so bad you have no idea. I am so ready to be someones mom. I really pray that we are blessed this month.

Baby Time!!!!

Yes you heard right!! Its baby time! Me and my love are trying to have a baby. I know we have only been together a short time but we are so in love and it just feels right. I have wanted to start having kids for years the only thing that stopped me was not having a guy in my life. Now I have one and he wants more kids just as much as I want to have them. We are so ready. We are just waiting on things to happen. We started trying the first couple of weeks we were together. It does seem like we are rushing it and there is no rush but we will be so proud and happy to bring a baby in this world. If we have a boy we are naming it after him and if we have a girl we are naming it something he likes with his middle name turned into a girl version. So far no luck on putting a bun in my oven yet but I bought some ovulation tests the other day so in a couple days I will start using them and pray that things work out and by the end of next month hopefully we will have some good news. I'm so ready for this!! I just feel like its my time to be someones mom and I have a good man in my life. I couldn't have a better man to be the father of my children. I just really pray that by the end of next month I can say that I'm pregnant. It will be a great feeling. It just sucks to see other people pregnant when your trying to get to that point. I pray GOD blesses us soon. I think we will be great parents. When I hear him talking to his son on the phone it just lets me know that he is a good dad and he'll be a great dad to our children. LORD knows I'm ready!! All I can do right now is to continue trying which is the fun part until we get what we want which is our baby. Can't wait to be able to say that I'm actually pregnant and I'll be so happy when I get to tell him because I know he will be super happy. I just know he is the one. Its so nice to know I have a man in my life who actually wants to have a baby and is not one of those guys who thinks if I get pregnant he'll just handle his responsibility but isn't really excited about having one. I just know in my heart that I'm with the guy that GOD wants me to be with for the rest of my life. I can't wait to have his baby. So we'll see when it hppens. Hopefully it will be sooner than I think.

I have no problems dealing............

My boyfriend is the love of my life. I do not know where I would be if he wasn't in my life right now. We have only been together for 2 months but it seems like longer. The crazy thing is he use to be married. Actually he just got a divorce and was only married for about 6-7 months. We got together before he got a divorce. I know that doesn't sound right but its hard to resist someone you have an instant connection with plus his marriage was over before we got together anyway. I think I was the one to help him speed up the process of getting the divorce. I never thought that I would be in a relationship with a divorced man. I guess its one of those never say never situations. He also has a son. Which is another one of those I never thought I would be in a relationship with a guy with kids but I am. Unfortunately, his son lives in Texas so he never gets to see him. I think its sad because he can't be around his son to watch him grow up and to teach him things. I know it hurts him a lot. The only thing he can do is talk to his son on the phone. He never sees him and doesn't get to spend the holidays with him. I can't help but think that if me and my love are going to be together forever I might as well say I have a stepson which is crazy to me. I can't imagine having an instant son in my life but if he is I will be there for him just like I would my own children. I think the scary part would definitely be meeting him for the first time. I will be nervous because I wouldn't know what to do or how he would be around me but I can deal. I have no problems dealing....I think......

The LORD blessed me.....

The LORD finally blessed me with a boyfriend. I still can't believe that I can actually say that I have a boyfriend. It still seems weird. I never would have thought I would actually get to say those words. It seems like its been forever that I have waited for the LORD to send me someone who was just for me. I had a bunch of lame guys in my life that didn't want the same things that I wanted. All I ever wanted was to have a guy who wanted to be around me as much as I wanted to be with them and someone that I can see myself having a future with. I am 24 years old and I'm not getting any younger. It happened at the most random time. In early February, there was a contest going on at radio stations in different cities for Valentine's Day about who was the cutest couple. They had to submit a photo and tell the story of how they met each other. I would sit there and read as much as I could. It was nice to read how people met. I had fun reading them but it would make me sad because I would start to think, Why haven't I met the love of my life yet? I always thought it would never happen. Plus the guy that I liked at the time wasn't paying my any attention. I never got to see him or spend any time with him, he never called or texted me, and when I tried he never answered or replied back. So after that, I decided that I was through with dudes. I wasn't gonna worry about them any more because it was a waste of time. Then one day the love of my life wrote me on facebook and told me that I was beautiful because he was looking at my profile pic. I said thanks and he wrote back to see how I was. By the way, we had already knew each other from the past before he wrote me. We met in high school when I was a freshman and he was a sophomore. We were both in band together. I played clarinet and he played bass drum. He was my boyfriend for awhile back then but it didn't last long. He was interested in sex and being 14 and a freshman in high school I was scared and knew nothing about it so every time he made a move I would become nervous. So after awhile he dumped me and later he transferred schools and we lost touch. Now years later, we reconnected through facebook. After the first time he wrote me, we didn't talk for another two weeks. Then one day when I happened to be off work because I was suppose to take a CPR class but ended up signing up for the wrong one. I went home and got on facebook. We started writing each other again until we realized we were both on the computer so we started chatting on there and was talking to each other for 4-5 hours. It was nice then the next day he gave me his number so we could text each other while he was at work. So we started texting each other all day and night then talking on the phone. It was weird because I have never talked and texted somebody before all day everyday. A couple days had passed and he was ready to see me face to face so he was off on a Friday and after I got off work we hung out. I was a little nervous because I hadn't seen this dude in years but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. That day forward we became inseparable. We are together as much as we can be. Between our work schedules we barely have time together but we cherish every time we are. I don't think I have ever been so serious about a guy before. I am so in love and I believe he is my soulmate and that we were meant to be together. Before he came into my life, I never knew I could have someone who would love me so much. He likes being around me all the time. He likes to be with me and do things with me. He tells me I'm beautiful all the time. I never had that before. He likes to take care of me. Not that I need him to but he gives me money if I need it. He drives me to and from work. Its so amazing to me. He is my everything I pray that he will be mine forever. I don't need nor want anybody else.

I wrote alot! I'm so happy but there's more. So on to the next post.....