Boredom always strikes on a Saturday night...

I am so bored I do not know what to do with myself. I am stuck doing school work but my mind always goes off somewhere else and I can't focus. I wish I had someone to talk to. This is where having a boyfriend would come in handy. I always feel like I never have anyone to talk to especially on boring nights like this. I'm so bored I just joined two new dating sites so I could possibly find someone to talk to but I feel like I done lost interest quick because all I want to do is talk to the guy that I am currently interested in and I don't know if I should bother him since he is out of town. He could be out having fun and he hasn't tried to contact me anyway since he's been gone so I doubt he is even thinking about me. I would hate to text him and not get a responds back considering I text him twice yesterday and never heard back. I just hate these boring nights it makes me just want to call it a night and go to bed. I can't wait the day I can have a boyfriend so my weekends won't be so boring. At least I'll have someone to talk to, hang out with, and go out with. I hate not having that person I could do those things with. I'm just sick of being bored all of the time. It sucks to not have a fun and interesting life. I hope that it will change one of these days soon.

Are things going to work out this time...

So a couple of weeks ago I was on Tinder scrolling through looking for guys to match with and I found a guy who seemed interesting. Luckily we ended up matching and of course I did my research to find out about him. He is a nice and tall man. The tallest guy I have ever talked to. I was so interested in him that I sent him a message on Tinder first. Normally I wait for the guy to say something to me first but for the first time I felt like I didn't want to wait and I wanted to say something but unfortunately he never replied back so I waited a couple of days and sent him a message again to see if he would respond because if he didn't I was going to move on. He responded and said he was going out to California for Memorial Day weekend so I didn't want to bother him while he was out of town so I left him alone and waited for him to get back in town before I said something to him. Luckily on Tinder it tells you how many miles someone is so I knew when he was back in town. That evening I wrote to him and he wrote me back and we chatted for awhile and it went from there. I got to meet him over the weekend and he is a really cool guy. We have hung out a few more times over the past week and I like this guy. I just hope I am not jumping the gun because I feel like that is one of my biggest flaws is that I become interested in a guy quick even when I do not know him very well. It just seems like there is something different about this guy although that may sound stupid since it seems like all guys end up being the same. All I know is that he is well educated and has a powerful job. I have seen videos of him online and it leaves me in awe because I can't believe that this is the guy that I am hanging out with. The guy I know doesn't seem like the same guy in the videos. He is very professional and a great speaker. It just seems like a totally different guy. Like this weekend he had to go out of town to give a speech at a graduation type ceremony. We have only been able to hang out in the house since with kids its hard to get out sometimes but I am hoping that sometime soon we will be able to go out on a first date and the best thing is since we have already hung out a few times already it won't be awkward. I don't want to jump the gun or anything especially considering how things with the last guy turned out but I hope things work out with him. We are only in the beginning stages of whatever we are or will become so we'll see as time goes but I really hope that we could possibly get to the point of being girlfriend and boyfriend. I would definitely be proud to have a man like him in my life. I pray that I will be lucky and blessed enough to have this amazing man in my life.

One of those times...

I was just thinking this is one of those times where I wish I had a boyfriend right now. I was thinking about taking a trip this summer to Cincinnati for the Cincinnati Music Fest. I would have went to the Friday and Saturday show. Leave Friday morning and find something to do that day before getting ready for the show then on Saturday go to King's Island until it was time to get ready for the show and I would go home Sunday. So I might miss out on a fun weekend trip since I am manless. Unless I can find a friend who wants to go with me but I wish I didn't have to think of someone to go with. If only I had a boyfriend I could go ahead and plan the trip. When am I ever going to get a boyfriend? The lonely life sucks especially when I could be getting out the house and having some fun. Its very rare that I get to go out and do something fun and this would be the perfect getaway. I'm just sick and tired of being by myself all the time. There has got to be someone out there for me somewhere. This waiting is killing me. I have been waiting for 5 years can the wait please be over soon. I was honestly thinking if I wanted to date again but I don't know if I should date more than one person at a time or date only one person. I feel like the last time I dated one person it didn't end with us in a relationship which I figured is the point in dating so maybe I should date more than one person at a time but if I did that then eventually I would have to choose who I would want to be with and I don't want to lead anyone on considering that's what happened to me and we see how that turned out. So I think it would be a good idea to date one person even though it backfired on me the last time. If I can find me someone to date I would be good to go. So far I haven't really found anyone interesting to date. I have been on both Tinder and POF and so far I haven't had any luck. Tinder is hard to find decent guys. It may be a handful of guys that I found interesting on there but no one I can go on a date with. I haven't found anyone on POF worth my time considering when I first joined the site a year ago there was plenty of interesting guys now not so much. I'm not going to give up because like I said there has to be a guy out there for me somewhere. I will be happy when that day comes because I feel like I am a happy person but I feel like there is a piece of me missing and that is a man to share my life with. Once I finally have that then I will feel complete.

I think I am done dating...

I really think I am officially done dating for awhile. From the looks of it the guy I was interested in may be in a relationship and it sucks. Of course, I had to snoop on her Facebook page and its a pic of them together. It pisses me off because how many dates did we go on and I never got a picture of us together. It just really hurts my heart and makes me want to cry that I can't be with the man that I have been wanting for a year. I can't believe I wasted a year on this guy for me to end up with my heart hurt and in that year it literally got me no where with him. It makes me feel like a fool, a dummy. I'm still asking myself why did this have to happen to me? All I can do is sit here and try to keep the tears from falling. I really, really, really liked this guy. I could see myself being with him. I thought we always had fun when we were together. I just hate that I wasn't good enough for him because he was definitely good enough for me. He was everything I could have ever asked for in a man. I just think to myself that maybe it won't last long, maybe it's just a summer fling, and maybe I still have a chance one day. Trying to make myself feel better but I still feel like crap. I just hope it doesn't last a long time. That's all I need is to be crying over a guy who was never really mine but I wish he was. All I can do is move on and try to keep my mind off of him which probably won't be easy but I do know that I am officially done dating for the time being. I do not want to end up in this position again. Feeling like a complete fool. I hope this feeling goes away soon but I don't think it will...

So annoyed...

I am still annoyed about the guy. I feel like I wasted a whole year to get no where. It's not like we only went on a couple of dates. We went on numerous dates and hung out numerous times. I really thought that it would have went somewhere. It pisses me off that I feel like I wasted a year on this guy. It's not like I am getting any younger. I am 31 years old. I would like to be in relationship with someone. Why does it seem like a hard thing to do? I have been single for going on 5 years and I am sick of it. I would like to have someone to go out with. Give me a reason to get out the house because I never have one. I feel like I don't have time to waste on guys who just waste my time. I would like to get married one day and have a few more kids. I find myself looking around on Tinder and Plenty of Fish to see if I can find any decent guys to talk to but I think I am just trying to find another guy like him but I do not think that is going to happen. He was literally everything I could have ever wanted in a man and now it seems like my chance with him is over at least for now. Who knows if this thing with this other girl is going to work out. It's not like they are exactly official or anything and it could be over in a couple of weeks or by the end of Summer. I can only hope. Then I might have another chance. Only GOD knows and I am praying for HIM to put a decent good guy in my life one of these days. It just sucks having to wait. Who knows when the wait will ever be over since its already been 5 years. I just really hope that I won't have to end another year single. I really would like to be in a relationship by the end of this year. All I can do is wait to see if that will happen but like I said before waiting sucks.

Life sucks once again...

So today it is looking like the guy that I have been interested in for a year is interested in someone else. He is writing on facebook about being interested in someone and I know it isn't me. I feel like I wasted a year and it pisses me off. I really like this guy and I was hoping that the feeling would be mutual. I thought that if we spent enough time together that it would eventually lead to a relationship. I tried my best. Anytime that I would have a free night to myself or had a chance to go out I always asked him. I guess the whole spending time with someone to lead to a relationship thing is false. I pretty much knew he wasn't into me the way I was into him. Every time we did go out it was from me asking, he never asks me if we can go out and we never hang out. I have always waited to hear, "Hey, if you're not doing anything can I come over and hang out?" but that never happened. It just really sucks because I honestly feel like every guy that I am interested in they are never interested in me. This is the fourth instance that I can think of this happening to me. It always makes me wonder, "What's wrong with me?" and "Why am I never good enough?" I always feel like I am always last choice. When will it ever be my turn to be happy? When am I ever going to find someone who is interested in me as much as I am interested in them? It makes me want to cry. Why can I never have the guy that I am interested in? It's times like this that really make you feel lonely. I just wish I knew when the loneliness will finally be over.

Spring 2018 is officially over...

The Spring semester is officially over!!! I made it through all of my classes. I got an A-, B+, B and a C. I'm just glad I do not have to retake anything. Now it is time for Summer classes and I am nervous. I'm taking two and one is a retake and its the third time I am taking it. I just hope I can finally be done with this class once and for all. I am scared that I won't be able to keep up. It is only 6 weeks and I am sure their will be a lot of work due at once so I hope I can keep up. I'll be so happy when I am officially done. I feel like I have too high expectations on finishing school. I want to be able to get a minor and a certificate so that would mean adding on extra classes. The problems is being able to take some of them. Half of them are online while the other half is on campus and its not like I have a lot of time to go on campus. I'm trying my best to figure out how I would be able to take the classes. Can I find someone to keep my kids late so I can go to class after work? Can I some how rearrange my work schedule so that I can take a class without losing any time? I hope I will be able to figure it out when the time comes but this would be a good time to win the lottery. That way, I can quit working or work part time so that I will have time to take classes on campus when I need to. I just hope it all works out in the end.