Just a quick post......

Its about to turn 10:30am and I'm suppose to be getting ready to go to work and I really don't want to go. I have to be there by 12:30pm and I have to be at the bus stop by 11:30am. It sucksss so bad. I don't want to go to this job and be there all day. I know I shouldn't be complaining at all considering how much I need money but I really don't think this job is a good fit for me. Which is why I have been praying like crazy that I will get hired at the job I got interviewed for yesterday. I'm gonna have to be up at this place from 12:30-9pm and I don't want to. I really don't. That place is so raggedy and nasty looking I don't think I can handle it. Which, like I said, is why I'm praying for this other job soooooo much. Well I'm off to get ready to go to this place that I don't want to go to. Praying that everything works in my favor.

Cotinuation and nervous......

So to continue on with my last post I didn't have to go into work yesterday but the lady called and asked me to come in today from 12:30-9pm. That seems like all day but I need the money so I have no reason to complain. Plus I never have anything else better to do on Saturday anyway. Well to another topic I had a job interview with this company yesterday and that's what I am sooo nervous about. I was suppose to go in at 10:30am but my ride, who happened to be the guy who I talked about in my last posts about him hurting me to get back with his ex, anyway, he was my ride and then the night before he called me and told me that he wasn't going to be able to take me at 10:30 because his gf had to be at work at 11. So of course he had to take her to work and you know I get backburnered(is that even a word?) because he's gonna choose her first for everything. Of course she comes before me even though we had made the plans for him to take me and she told him at the last minute that he had to take her. You don't know how pissed off I was about that. Anything between me and him has definately been ruined by this girl and I know I shouldn't say this but I really wish he would break up with this girl once in for all and things can go back to normal between us and I don't have to feel awkward for needing favors or even wanting us to hang out. Another thing that pissed me off was this dude was seriously gonna have one of his friends take me to my job interview. Why would this dude even think I would go along with anything like that? To have some random guy that I don't know, never talked to or seen take me to my job interview. I know I'm not much of a priority to this dude anymore but it would be nice if he gave me a little consideration. Well I got the job interview rescheduled to 12:30pm so he was able to take me. Let's just say I felt really awkward being in the car with him especially considering where I was sitting his stinking gf was just sitting at. I had also found out that he had went to the casino without me when we were suppose to go together. He claims to had went with his friend but I think he went with his gf and he wasn't gonna tell me considering that we were suppose to go together. I realize this dude does soo much to piss me off and hurt me. I honestly question why I am even still friends with this guy.

Anyway, back to the job. I waited about an hour before my interview started and the lady finally came and I got to walk around the warehouse and she was explaining everything to me, what they do and what I would be doing. Then we sat in the break room where we continued the interview and it was really nice. I really think the interview went well. I was also shocked to here that for the position I applied to they had 140 applications and the hr manager choosed the top10 to send to the lady who interviewed me and she chose the top 5 from that so I made it to the top 5 out of 140 applicants. I really felt lucky and blessed to hear that. Now I have to wait until Tuesday to find out if I get the job or not. I am praying my heart out that I get this job. I know the odds are against me because out of the top 5 there were 3 internal candidates and 2 of us external candidates. I just see it as why choose one of the internal candidates when their already working there over someone who really needs a job. I just pray I get this job. I have to wait the next 3 days until I can find out and its going to be complete torture. But I'm definately trying to stay optimistic and trying to keep the faith that I will get this job. I would prefer this job over the one I have now but at least I know if this job falls through I do have the one I'm at now. I don't want this job to fall through I really want this job badly. The only thing I would have to worry about is the whole car situation if I actually do get this job but I know everything will work its self out. I know whatever happens is apart of GOD'S plan and what's meant to be will be. I just can't stop thinking about the possibilities if I do get this job. Like going to school and getting out of my mother's house which it is officially time for me to go so I really need this job more than anything. I know either way whether I get the job or I don't I know I will be crying when I find out. I pray everything works out. I'm so nervous but like I keep saying I'm praying that everything works out in my favor and I get this job. My ultimate goal is to get back in school in January and its coming up fast so I need to make sure I have a good job secure so I can start the process of registering because I want to have that taken care of by December. This job I currently have now I'm considered a temp and who knows if I will actually make it to real employee status. I'm so sick of the whole temp job thing after the last time. That's why I'm praying I get this other job because I'm actually getting hired on by the actual company not through a temp and not to mention the pay is really good and I will have a title. I would be an "Inventory Control Specialist" and at the job I'm at now I think I'm just a warehouse worker and the job I do is nothing worth while. If I stayed there I honestly would not know what to put on my resume to explain what it is I do. So its just sooooo many reason why I am going crazy about getting this job. I want it soooo much and soooo badly. But like I said all I can do is pray and stay encouraged, keep the faith, and stay optimistic and everything will work out. I'll write about what ends up happening and praying that I get to write some good news and nothing bad. LORD knows I could definately use some good news right now after all these bad things that's been happening to me the past few months.

WISH ME GOOD LUCK!!!!

Updating after another 2 months......

Well its been another 2 months since my last post. I can't believe I keep getting more spacey when it comes to posting. I'm trying to get on here and post more. But anyway, what's been going on with me in the last two months? Well my last post I told about how hurt I was about this guy choosing to be with his ex instead of with me. I can honestly say I am slowly but surely getting over that hurt. I'm not gonna lie, I am still bitter about the whole thing. I really cared about this guy and to just think about him being with his gf and going out with her and kissing her still hurts because I want that to be me. I want to be the one who has a guy to go out with on the weekends and someone who wants to call me just to check up on me. I just want to be loved and appreciated and wanted. Is that too much to ask for? Well, maybe one day it will be my turn to have the love of my life and to be with someone who cares about me just as much as I care about them. I always realize when I like someone I put more into then they do, like the whole relationship, whether we are together or not, I put 80% and he puts 20% instead of it being 50/50.

Also I have been going through the struggle of finding a job just like I have been all year. I have been doing the best I can filling out applications, putting in my resume, it is really hard to put in all those applications and to not be able to get anything at all. Well last week I saw a posting about a job fair that was suppose to be going on Monday and I definately planned on going. I thought if I go I might get lucky and get hired. But on Saturday my car ended up breaking down. You just could not realize how crushed I was because I didn't want to miss that job fair for anything and I didn't know how I would get to it without a car. There isn't anyone who I can depend on to ask to take me so my only option was to get on the bus. I am not an expert bus rider so I was nervous about getting on but I did my research and it all worked out I made it to the job fair and actually got hired I just had to wait on them to get my background check back then I could start. Well that happened yesterday. They called me back around 1:15pm and asked me if I could come in that day!! I can't believe they did that but I was determined to work so I went. Since I'm carless at the moment, I decided that I was going to walk. I walked 12 blocks and I had to hurry up in get there because I had to be there by 2:30pm!! I didn't have time to eat because I had woke up an hour before the lady called me and I didn't expect her to ask me to come in that day. Well I got to work and started working then after awhile I started getting dizzy and light-headed. I realized I must have had heat exhaustion. So I sat down for awhile and started to go back to work once I thought I was better but I started getting dizzy again so that's when I realized I needed to go home. Luckily, someone who lives down the street from me worked there and I was able to get a ride. Then later that night, the lady called me and told me that she thought I was a no call, no show because I didn't show up to the break room where I guess all the new people were suppose to meet. But when I got there there were a bunch of people outside for a meeting so I assumed that that's where I was suppose to be. Its not like I could distinguish against who was new and who had already worked there.

I'm going to continue this in another thread since I feel like I have wrote alot.

Very hurt........

Man, life is hard.......

This weekend was a very hard one for me. There was this guy I really, really liked and I have liked him for over a year now. But it looks like there is no more of "us". Me and him had a talk yesterday in which he informed me that him and his ex girlfriend would possibly be getting back together. I should have known this day would come but I just didn't want to believe it. Before I met this guy I didn't want to have anything to do with guys because I was sick of getting hurt. But then this guy came along, who I met at my former job a year and a half ago and ever since then we had become really close. I felt comfortable around him. I have never felt as comfortable and able to express myself freely around any other guy but him. So, of course, I assumed he was the one. Boy, was I dead wrong!! It really hurt me when he told me that basically he preferred to be with his ex girlfriend over me. And he use to tell me all this stuff that she would do to him that would make him mad. Plus his friends and family plus me would tell him to stay away from this girl, that she was no good for him. It just really sucks to be the one who got hurt and he is probably off not caring about how I feel even though he says he does. But it just seems like he got what he wanted which was her and I didn't get what I wanted which was him. So I am very hurt. For one thing, I feel like I lost one of my closest friends. And now things are a little awkward for me since he chose this girl over me. And I already know that once they get back together officially that our friendship will cease to exist. I am 98% sure that they will get back together and it just really sucks on my end. But this isn't the first time I have been hurt. This is just very shocking to me. It just really sucks that he would choose some childish girl who still needs to grow up over me. But when I analize it closer he still has some growing up to do too. But for all I know, once he gets back together with her, he'll realize he made a terrible mistake and realize she's not the one that he thought she was. One can only hope. But I give them 3 months tops. And even if he does realize it, I wouldn't want him anyway. After what he put me through. He at least made me come to the realization that I don't want a guy for a very long time. Its just gonna be me, myself, and I from now on.

How's It Goin?.....

Wow!! It seems like forever since I last posted. It has been over two months so I guess I have been slacking a little....okay A LOT!!!. Anyway, let's see if I can get up to date of what's been going on with me since. The job I had when I last posted I was unfortunately laid off from back in May. Which sucked big time because I was going to start taking coding classes and as soon as I was about to register I was laid off so I didn't get to put the money in for the class. Considering that I didn't know the next time I was going to be working and I had to save what money I had left on gas and food. Eventually, the money ran out and I was trying to get unemployment but that didn't work out since I was suppose to bring in 8 paystubs and only had 7 with the amount that they told me was suppose to be on them. My last check was under the amount since I was let go on a Monday. So when I couldn't get unemployment I started to panic and get really upset because I didn't know what I was going to do without money. How was I going to eat? I didn't want to have to go back to the way things were before I got that job: being broke, not having gas in my car or unable to buy food, and wondering how was going to eat the next day. But not long after I got a phone call from one of the temp places about a job and I was extremely happy. Now this was just last month. I went to the temp place to fill out paperwork and take a drug test and had to go to the job the next day. So the next day, I drive to the place and it took me about 30 mins. or more to find the place. So obviously, I was super late but it wasn't my fault I couldn't find the name of the place anywhere and it was just very confusing looking for address numbers. Anyway, when I finally got inside the place the dumb guy told me he didn't need me and that I could leave. I was so pissed. I went through trying to find that place and finally making it to getting sent back home as soon as I walked through the door. It sucked soo much. Then the company I was working for before that layed me off called me and gave me a job and this was two weeks ago. Let's just say I didn't want to go back there after they laid me off and I would feel really weird going back up there and having to see people I was working with before I was laid off. But what could I say? I really needed the money and so I went. And like I thought the whole first day I was there I felt really uncomfortable but I made it through. All the people I worked with, we knew what the deal was. We knew that we would be getting laid off anyday again. So all this week, we all knew that this could possibly be our last week. There was barely any work for anyone to do and we actually had a day off on Wednesday and nobody came to work. I didn't know that we weren't suppose to come in because I left early Tuesday to get home to watch Michael Jackson's memorial. So I go to work and there were no cars there!! I was really creeped out because it was close time to clock in and nobody was there but a couple of cars so I just sat there and I wasn't going in until more people showed up. After awhile I was just going to go in and see what was going on. So as I was riding up to the front door, two people I work with told me that we weren't working and to come in the next day. That was the first sign of trouble. Then yesterday was the second sign. We came in and there wasn't any work for us to do. So instead of telling us the go home they were just trying to find random stuff for us to do. I left early again like on Tuesday. Now today, I wasn't sure if we had to come in today or not so I got up early and took the drive and found we didn't. I had a feeling we didn't but I just wanted to make sure. And now they called me and I assume its to let me know that I'm laid off again. I haven't called them back to find out yet but I have a really good feeling that's what their calling for. All I know is that hopefully they don't call me back again because I won't be going back a third time to get laid off AGAIN! But today, I just found out that I got two job offers. Trying to call them but no luck in getting through yet. I just pray that things work out. I really need a job now and I hope I get hired on at one of these jobs. That's basically everything that's been going on in the past two months to today. I'll try not to wait another two months to post again. That's all for now.

Long time.....

Its been a long time since I have posted. Not much has been going on. I still have my job and I thank the LORD everyday for it. I really love working there. The work is easy once you get use to it and I can listen to my music. The day really flies by. I don't think I have ever had a job where the work day goes by quick. I just hope I can keep this job and don't have to worry about being fired or laid off. After this week, I will have been there a month so time is really going by fast.

This past weekend I finally got to buy me some rollerblades. But it looks like I will be taking them back. I tried to see if I was any good on them and I could barely keep my balance. So I think I will just buy some regular roller skates. But now I might have a problem taking the rollerblades back. I got them from Target and they have this policy about if your returning something it has to be new and unused. So I pray they cut me a break I only had the blades on to test and see if I was any good in them and that was only maybe 10-15 mins. So I will take them back probably this weekend and hopefully they will take them because I don't know what I'm going to do with rollerblades that I can't skate in.

Last Week.........

Well last week was really cool. I started my new job and I believe that I am going to like it. I'm working at a pharmaceutical company and I will be processing returned products. This job is cool for the simple fact that I get to sit down on my butt all day. It's really amazing to me because I never have had a job where I sit the whole time, only jobs where I have to stand all day. I didn't find out that it was a sit down job until my first day so I was pretty shocked. We get to sit in front of computers all day and we get to listen to music. So we can bring our Ipods, CD players, and CDs to use in the computer and listen to music all day. I know I'm really going to like it because I am not use to having a job where I get to sit the whole shift plus listen to music. I really lucked out with this job. I just hope that since this is a temp to hire job that I will get hired on full time with the company. I really would hate to get fired or layed off from this job because the money I'm making from here is going to my school fund plus my moving fund. It's a 90-day wait to be considered for full employment with the company and I just hope I can make it these 3 months and I'm just getting through with my first week so there is definately a long way to go. I just hope I don't have to worry about getting fired or layed off. I am sooooo over having to look for a job and sending resume after resume to different places and not hearing anything back.

I am sooo looking forward to the next couple of months. Next month I will be enrolling in my first class towards getting my certificate in Medical Coding and I am looking forward to it. I am so excited I can't wait until June when the class starts. I honestly feel like my life is turning around finally. I have a cool job and hopefully will be starting my classes in 2 months. I am ready. I'm just glad I will be able to get out of the house everyday. Before last week I have been basically stuck in the house everyday with nothing to do and no where to go, but now all that is changing and I'm glad. I see it like this: Sundays will be church(which I haven't been in awhile but definately ready to start going back and hopefully that will start in May) and if I'm sitting around the house bored I can go skating, Mondays and Wednesdays will be work and school, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays will be just work and possible studying, and Saturdays will be class and if I'm bored skating. So it looks like my days will be filled and its so nice to know I will have some where to go and something to do everyday besides staying in the house being bored. Someone my age should have things to do and not just be sitting in the house so I so so so can not wait until June, just 2 months away.